Randomness: Who Cut the Cheese Style

Omnipotent Poobah — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 00:57:01 +0000

GIANT BABY HEAD - When they're awake they're nothing but big cry babies. Click photo >>

How Can You Govern a Country With 246 Varieties of Cheese? – C. De Gaulle

You can’t beat a a nice boobie brie and a fine bottle of wine.
In Judge Warriner’s defense, Tillamook cheddar does make a bitchin’ grilled cheese.
Crime: Assault with a deadly cheese ball.

True Crime That Makes You Feel Superior

There are some things you shouldn’t have to tell people. Don’t shave your balls while driving is one of them.
Worcestershire sauce, as good on your head as it is on burgers.
The food at Chicken Hut is to die for.
En guarde you bookish thugs.
If you do the crime, you’ve got to do the time…even if it is a goat.
Just one package of Breathe Right strips would’ve been enough to avoid this tragedy.
The murder was commited at the airfield by Col. Mustard with a gyrocopter.
It’s spring break time again.
Toni, be careful. You could put somebody’s eye out like that.
If there was one thing George W. Bush proved, it’s that frat boys are not often known for their common sense.
I suppose this means backseat poll dancing is out of the question.
The obvious joke here would be that he hid, “some really good shit“.

All-Consuming Consumerism

Nothing says high fashion like wearing turds on your ears.
The Harlem Globetrotters aren’t going to like this one bit.
By comparison, Sarah Palin’s entourage made real locusts look like mild-mannered gardeners.
Smoking products for the truly lazy.
Yes, I too have taken refuge under a handy breast from time to time.
You know you’ve invented something truly useless when the only thing you can think to call it is Transformable Interior Object.
Ooooo, those crappy strappy shoes are to die for!
If you buy this, make room in your junk closet right next to the panini maker, because you’ll never use it.
Men may be from Mars, but women are from the psych ward.
The stockings aren’t so bad, but the idea of previously worn panties brings an unpleasant picture to mind.
I often suggest people keep Ann Coulter books and coyote urine on hand. You never know when you’ll need to throw some piss at her.
It may cost $76 gajillion, but your kid will love it when he’s shoveling driveways at 10 bucks a pop.
Sure, it’s a handy gadget, but women still can’t write their names in the snow.
I’m beginning to think there has been irreparable damage to the Tiger Woods brand.
They’re the most popular candy in Saudi Arabia.

FILL 'ER UP - The best waaaay of waking up is a robot with a cuuuup! Click photo >>

Robot-O-Land

I wonder if this robot can play the theme from Lost in Space?
To keep development costs under control, engineers carried their system optimization phase a little too far.
Honda shows off its “Hondots“.

Square Pegs Seeking Round Holes

Regardless of what they say, everyone loves a good fart joke.
What?! Are you drunk?
It’s Raining Men was a big hit for the Weather Girls, but somehow their next song It’s Raining Fish, never caught on.
Billy loved AC/DC, but quickly found out the mosh pit was a little dangerous.
It’s a little known historical fact, but Benjamin Franklin suffered the same fate when he peed on his kite string.
It took Joe a few minutes to realize the SpatSolver had nothing to do with cleaning up spit.
Jane thought she’d filed the production reports under miscellaneous.
No doubt there’s a really good story behind this picture.
CAN-A-DA! CAN-A-DA! CAN-A-DA!
Bank of America seized the house. Then, the CEO ordered it sold so he could buy that new yacht he had his eye on.
What CEOs do when they don’t get their quarterly bonus…
Inga always tucked into a heaping helping of hakari for Christmas dinner.
Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t.

The Inscrutable Secrets of Japan

The Japanese really love their chocolate…a lot.
A well-groomed cat is a psychotic cat.
Officials said there was no way to predict the earthquake because sushi chefs ran amok on the beach beforehand.
Sometimes it seems as if the Japanese have way too much time on their hands.
C’mon Tim, it can’t be that bad can it?
Let’s just get it over with a shove a probe up everyone’s ass.
It’s sad when Japanese kids become wannabe gangstahs.

Pop Culture Without the Fizz

It’s a timeless question, “Ginger or Mary Ann?”
Um, that’s a little TMI isn’t it?
In the annals of unfortunately-named websites, Poopy Lickles and Mr. Poop were Hall of Famers.
Sometimes it seems everyone is a fashion critic.
Getting into heaven is easy, just butter up The Big Guy.
Lee Jin-gyu wanted to support marriage freedom so he’s petitioning to put his Defense of Inanimate Object Marriage Act on the ballot.
Claire believed herself to be truly lucky that she’ll be able to make a Marmite sandwich when the rapture comes. And word to the wise, The Big Guy likes a nice BLT.
RUN! The Twinkie Borg have returned! to Karl Elvis.

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