TANKS FART THE MEMORIES - Balloon Dad finds his next reality show project...Cows From Space!
Bring on the Search Engines! Sex, Sex, Sex!
- Despite scientific theories to the contrary, the folks at Westboro Baptist insisted that homosexuality is a lifestyle choice.
- With her career in shambles, Carrie Prejean moved to Britain where she lost another beauty queen crown for not being neat and wiping the seat after tinkling on it.
- Damn, just when I finally found it, it turns out to be a myth. The wife’s not going to like that.
- Lorraine went on to pattern her career after Kathy Lee Gifford‘s by bragging about sex with her hubby Dick.
- Presenting the Official Drink of the Cast of the Vagina Monologues.
- Do you swallow? How about if it tastes like flan?
- It takes a perv to know a perv. And to make matters worse, the girl friend was involved with puppies.
- The State Department decided to name John Bolton ambassador to Walrusistan because of his, ahem, special talent.
- Why do these things always happen in the UK?
- Father Nickalaus said he was OK with the sex, just the noise.
- In her defense, she was hungry at the time.
Goobs Around the Globe
- There ought to be a certification process for approving parents.
- Assault with a deadly condiment.
- Wang found his job with the towing company was the perfect blend of hobby and career.
- Gay-bashing goobs go great with Lady Gaga.
- Picture this…
- Never a believer in Darwinism, Dwayne developed his own special brand of creationism.
- Bill thought he was in love until he came home one day to find Mary had been bitten by the same bug that got Spiderman.
- With her career in shambles, Carrie Prejean moved to Britain where she lost another beauty queen crown for not being neat after tinkling on the seat.
- After drinking more than 35 Moosehead beers, Raina wasn’t prepared for what happened next.
- There are some things that should require no instruction. On the other hand, there are some really stupid people out there.
- Several people showed up at the teabag rally after misreading the posters advertising the event.
- Sure, that’s pretty clever, but let’s see you make a spork.
- Oh my word, you mean that wasn’t a joke?
- Why is it that Buddha never appears in weird places?
- Before having the procedure, Roland’s owners consulted with Joan Rivers about it.
- And Americans can’t understand why the rest of the world hates them.
- Well, that will happen when you crap in them.
- OK, this whole Twilight thing is going too far.
- Damn that guy is like MacGyver.
- You’re getting sleepy. You’re getting sleepy. When I snap my fingers you will act like a narcoleptic.
- Dick was very romantic, just not in a good way.
- With her forecasts often wrong and slumping ratings, Marilee decided to do an Indian rain dance.
- Republicans complained that healthcare reform would result in care rationing similar to what they see in other socialist countries.
- “If you must fart, fart proudly.” — Benjamin Franklin, 1781
- Luckily, the Geico Gecko showed up in his F-16 in the nick of time to fight back.
- Clokey’s last words were, “Don’t get all bent out of shape about it, have a candy.”
- Not that it takes all that much to confuse men, mind you.
- For those of you living in snow country, a snow man that perfectly demonstrates your feelings about the blizzard.
