Suburban teenager throws down a lame ass beat ’bout thug life in the ‘burbs. Dude, that broke ass shit be weak. Just sayin’.

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• Japanese Mimes are Freaking Awesome
• Japanese Brothel from Inside
• 7 of the most disturbing Japanese inventions

Those Tireless Workers of the Exploited Mechanical Class

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• Yeah Right!
• Shoulder-Mounted Camera Avatar
• Sexy Female Robots and Androids
• World’s Most Realistic Robot
• Naked man opens fire on SWAT robot in Florida

A Sucker’s Born Every 59.63 Seconds

• Buy a satellite dish, get a free gun
• The Typescreen
• Avvo Plastic Surgery Rewards® Card
• Rent-a-Wheel
• Unilever Tackles the Ugly Underarm
• Man Tries To Sell Military Spy Plane On eBay

It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time

• Naked woman rescued from cliff
• Starbucks Finds Resting Place in Texas Funeral Home
• Nasty Birth
• Obese man cut out of house, sat in chair for 2 years
• Students Angry, University Pays $32K for Snooki to Speak
• Teacher Mocks 7-Year-Old Student’s Hair on Facebook
• Bounce House Flies Across Three Lanes of Traffic…Kids Inside
• 50 Most Perverted Newspaper Headlines
• Man pleads guilty to tattooing toddler
• The Rhode Island School of Design Fightin’ Dicks
• Elfin Ears The Newest Cosmetic Surgery Craze

Sexual Healing

• Toronto‘s ’Slut Walk’ Protest
• Mayor removes statue because its boobs are too big
• A public service announcement (Daveawayfromhome)
• Bunny Girl, Big Willie’s Burlesque Music Released
• 12 Celebrity Blow-Up Dolls You Secretly Want To Bone
• Naked Therapy and More Nude Professions
• British Mechanic Has Over 240 Love Dolls
• Rate My Vajazzle – Do You Like it Shiny Baby?
• Sexual Practices We Were Totally Unaware Of
• Top 10 Anti-Gay Activists Caught Being Gay
• Anti Fart Ads
• Researchers Unearth ‘First Gay Caveman’

Really? The Hell You Say!

• Famous Babies All Growed Up
• eOops, Brother and Sister Reunite on Bizarre Blind Date
• Stop The Sag!
• Squirrel rescued from toilet by Goose
• Why pregnant women eat dirt
• Fart Machine Confuses A Dog
• Man writes using 43 different body parts
• Teen Has Javelin Go Through His Hip & Exit Via His Ass

Surfing the Crime Wave

• Man Fires Gun Over Taco Bell Price Change
• Naked convict falls through ceiling
• Willie Nelson Ordered To Sing Judge’s Favorite Song
• Man sets ex-girlfriend’s apartment ablaze in fecal rampage
• Joel McHale, E! Sued By Dwarf Couple
• Fake leg used to stop a robber
• Nude Man Runs Down LA Highway
• Ohio Man Cited For Barking At Dog

Damn! He Really is Everywhere

• ‘Thorn from Jesus’s crucifixion crown’ goes on display at Brit Museum
• Cheesus!
• The King’s face found on a bug in Singapore forest

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TRIPPING ALL OVER HIMSELF - Russian Alexander Tretyakov finds out the hard way that there's a reason they call his event the "skeleton".

The Thrill of Victory, the Agony of Da Feet

• “And the silver metal for the 500 meter Dumbass Race goes to DAVID MOELLER!”
• You do have to admit, it’s more physically demanding than curling.
• “…and the well-equipped team from Germany is poised to take the gold.”
• Suddenly, the Canadian team found it was a bad idea to bring the cheerleaders along.
• Curling was a new event for them, but the Japanese team was out to prove they were a force to be reckoned with.
• Frank always felt a little dirty after watching figure skating.
• Look at the gold on Lindsay!

Robots in Search of a Reason

• Where the hell was this droid when we were trying to top China in the Olympic ping pong event?
• Sure, these robots are cool if by cool you mean elf-lords with thick glasses and pocket protectors.
• Bottoms up, it’s the Android Olympics.
• I’m flabbergasted. There are “cons” to a robot army?

Consumerism: The Oil for Humanity’s Third Wheels

• Was it not enough to have your ex-girlfriend’s name tattooed on your chest by Spike, your cellmate at San Q.?
• The perfect accessory to go with your Flobee.
• http://mwaaaahhh-ha-ha.com.
• Watch your “As Seen on TV” product appear on TV“.
• I hear the Duck Fetus Egg Grand Slam at Denny’s is superb.
• I mean really, who DOESN’T need a spare cat in case of emergency?
• Buster found it was a great rug until he tugged at one of the strings.
• You should see the ones at the Big & Tall Men’s shop.
• PETA would be so proud.
• Bill and Janet bought the green whip because they only wanted to hurt each other, not the environment.
• You can catch more flies with honey hummus.

What the Hell is Wrong With People?

• No shit?!
• Susan Sarandon is one klassy broad.
• John always held to the quite sane view that he would never put anything more flammable than a Q-Tip in his ear.
• Defibrillators do seem like a sane move in a country filled with rich, fat, white bankers when you come to think about it.
• As airlines go, Air Canada’s “no-stink” policy was a bit draconian.
• “Yeah, we gotta bun, some mustard, and an app for that.”
• Yeah, I agree. I wouldn’t ask and hope Bill O’Reilly wouldn’t tell.
• In his research, Professor Bob was never amazed by the broad spectrum of sexual fetishes he found at the Hush Puppy store.
• CNN – The World’s Most Kinky Network.
• Orly only went to the UN after asking the Obama administration for asylum. Oddly, they didn’t agree.

COPS! Live with the Men and Women of Law Enforcement

• Warrant? Warrant”? We don’t need no stinkin’ warrant.
• Two more condoms and they would’ve had to use an actual mule to carry the drugs.
• It may stop bullets, but you can kick it over pretty easily.
• Man bites dog. Apparently, too much Starbucks coffee is to blame.
• “Bacon rustlers strike British pub! Film at 11!”
• It was just another 2 am at the Waffle House.

Nowhere Else to Go

• Global warming is causing the planet to bleed!
• Remember, it’s not true until you read it in the National Enquirer Pravda.
• The scent of irony was palpable in the air.

Japan, Land of the Weirdly Rising Sun

• “Break me off a piece of that Kat Kat bar…”
• Why am I slightly terrified, yet aroused, by these women?
• I try all the time, but I can never get the hang of the damn things.

OLYMPIC BLOW JOB - The thanks of a greatful nation are bestowed upon bronze medal-winner Scotty Lago.

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ARRGH! PREPARE FER BOARDIN' - Welcome to Peg Leg Pete's Perfect Peg Leg and Hook Emporium. This week only, get a parrot with every purchase.

The Internet Isn’t a Time Nor Place, It’s a State of Mind

• There are just so many reasons why frieinds don’t let friends go to Starbucks.
• David got off to an inauspicious start on Dancing with the Stars.
• Could this site BE any more annoying?
• Kevin was extremely excited by his odd hobby. Others were not so amused.
• GEICO was blamed for the Florida dog deaths.
• Team Gillette was determined to show their shaving technology was years ahead of their rival Schick.
• Po hadn’t heard about the dangers of smoking, so he happily puffed on.
• Watch out for the last step, it’s a doozy.
• Scientists believed that Keith Richards may have been the cause of hell freezing over.
• It was prom night and Julie just couldn’t go with a huge zit on her chin.
• In their defense, Pedobear was awfully cute.
• I don’t know, $20 million seems like chump change for a good acoustic kitty.
• At the end, it turned out Andrea had mistakenly knifed a PETA protestor in lambs clothing.
• Ashok’s mother accidentally scared him with a mirror when he was born.
• Hell, I’ve seen rats bigger than this in the NY City sewer system.
• Alright Maggot, drop and give me 20 boogers.

The Land of the Rising Sun

• Whenever you travel, remember to stop at a Barry White Inn.
• The Japanese are a passionate people.
• Betcha can’t eat just one.

Sex in the Blogosphere

• Just in case you were curious…
• I see expensive therapy in this boy’s future.
• The Massatuchetts legislature would be well served to get it’s mind out of the gutter.
• Many Republicans believe that the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell would bring all sorts of lewd behavior out of the woodwork.
• Who knows what ugliness lurks under the burka?
• Unfortunately, a whole new industry of Viagra spam was also launched.
• As long as I don’t have to wear my hair iin a mullet, I’m so there.
• That’ll convince Jon not to dump any other women – that is if he can GET any more women.

The Hooterville Crime Blotter

• Roberta quickly discovered the crowd at the Live Nude Girls Club was harsh indeed.
• Jim got a bad case of cabin fever because of “snowmageddon”.
• Clearly, Ye got a little too excited by the Super Bowl.
• Kali had been beated senseless, but considered herself lucky she hadn’t been waterboarded to boot.
• Jim had a little Captain Morgan in him.
• Bucky was just upset because he lost his knife and was wicked hungry.
• The District Atorney will probably ask for the death penalty.
• Officers on vice patrol duty really though the shoes gave their hooker outfits jsut a smidge more authenticity. However, they had their dangers.
• Stephen loved the feel of a light breeze on his skin.
• They Phoenix police may have busted him, but he gave the TSA a great idea for airport security.

There’s a Thin Line Between Enrepeneur and Lunatic Inventor

• According to capitalist theories, the products exist because there’s a market for them. Scary thought, eh?
• Nothing spells welcome than 330 feet of industrial grade coir hair.
• Although many patients loved the hospital gown, some were disappointed they could no longer get that “free” feeling as they wandered the halls.
• This is where entrepeneurs cross the line into lunatic inventor territory.
• Walmart decided they would change their name and go after the hip hop market segment.
• Marian believed strongly in the philosophy, “hugs not slugs“.
• The makers of the Potty Putter changed their product’s name to Potty Pooper to avoid a trademark infringement.
• Next product: Crap-n-Panties for the woman who always wants that “live-in look”.
• They originally called the product Chastity Bone-O.

Ragin’ Robots

• Chucky was an imnportant technological achievement, but was still scary as hell.
• Sam worked for years to create the perfect duck that laid the golden egg before giving up before reaching his goal.

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