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The Internet Isn’t a Time Nor Place, It’s a State of Mind

• There are just so many reasons why frieinds don’t let friends go to Starbucks.
• David got off to an inauspicious start on Dancing with the Stars.
• Could this site BE any more annoying?
• Kevin was extremely excited by his odd hobby. Others were not so amused.
• GEICO was blamed for the Florida dog deaths.
• Team Gillette was determined to show their shaving technology was years ahead of their rival Schick.
• Po hadn’t heard about the dangers of smoking, so he happily puffed on.
• Watch out for the last step, it’s a doozy.
• Scientists believed that Keith Richards may have been the cause of hell freezing over.
• It was prom night and Julie just couldn’t go with a huge zit on her chin.
• In their defense, Pedobear was awfully cute.
• I don’t know, $20 million seems like chump change for a good acoustic kitty.
• At the end, it turned out Andrea had mistakenly knifed a PETA protestor in lambs clothing.
• Ashok’s mother accidentally scared him with a mirror when he was born.
• Hell, I’ve seen rats bigger than this in the NY City sewer system.
• Alright Maggot, drop and give me 20 boogers.

The Land of the Rising Sun

• Whenever you travel, remember to stop at a Barry White Inn.
• The Japanese are a passionate people.
• Betcha can’t eat just one.

Sex in the Blogosphere

• Just in case you were curious…
• I see expensive therapy in this boy’s future.
• The Massatuchetts legislature would be well served to get it’s mind out of the gutter.
• Many Republicans believe that the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell would bring all sorts of lewd behavior out of the woodwork.
• Who knows what ugliness lurks under the burka?
• Unfortunately, a whole new industry of Viagra spam was also launched.
• As long as I don’t have to wear my hair iin a mullet, I’m so there.
• That’ll convince Jon not to dump any other women – that is if he can GET any more women.

The Hooterville Crime Blotter

• Roberta quickly discovered the crowd at the Live Nude Girls Club was harsh indeed.
• Jim got a bad case of cabin fever because of “snowmageddon”.
• Clearly, Ye got a little too excited by the Super Bowl.
• Kali had been beated senseless, but considered herself lucky she hadn’t been waterboarded to boot.
• Jim had a little Captain Morgan in him.
• Bucky was just upset because he lost his knife and was wicked hungry.
• The District Atorney will probably ask for the death penalty.
• Officers on vice patrol duty really though the shoes gave their hooker outfits jsut a smidge more authenticity. However, they had their dangers.
• Stephen loved the feel of a light breeze on his skin.
• They Phoenix police may have busted him, but he gave the TSA a great idea for airport security.

There’s a Thin Line Between Enrepeneur and Lunatic Inventor

• According to capitalist theories, the products exist because there’s a market for them. Scary thought, eh?
• Nothing spells welcome than 330 feet of industrial grade coir hair.
• Although many patients loved the hospital gown, some were disappointed they could no longer get that “free” feeling as they wandered the halls.
• This is where entrepeneurs cross the line into lunatic inventor territory.
• Walmart decided they would change their name and go after the hip hop market segment.
• Marian believed strongly in the philosophy, “hugs not slugs“.
• The makers of the Potty Putter changed their product’s name to Potty Pooper to avoid a trademark infringement.
• Next product: Crap-n-Panties for the woman who always wants that “live-in look”.
• They originally called the product Chastity Bone-O.

Ragin’ Robots

• Chucky was an imnportant technological achievement, but was still scary as hell.
• Sam worked for years to create the perfect duck that laid the golden egg before giving up before reaching his goal.

Related articles

• More Randomness (omnipotentpoobah.com)
• I Was There: “It Was The First Time I Actually Saw Women Making Out With Cars” (deadspin.com)
• Now, radio ads that mirror what you want (thoughtgadgets.com)
• Rare Snowflakes Start Falling From Miss. to Fla. (abcnews.go.com)
• Danielle Crittenden: Capital Snow Diaries III: “Safeway Is Decimated!” (huffingtonpost.com)
• Now This Is A Speech (dlisted.com)
• Johnny Depp Continues The Bromance, Directs Keith Richards Documentary!! (perezhilton.com)
• Joe Namath’s Labrador declared dangerous (thestar.com)
• 5 is enough, but Gillette upgrades razor, again (sfgate.com)
• Facebook offers a neat look at America (sharemarketing.wordpress.com)

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