Using the word “human” and Mitt Romney in the same sentence is such a weird concept that his campaign’s mission is to “humanize” him. When the man is a 1 percenter who brags of joy in firing people, describes corporations as people, and needs an elevator for his cars, it’s a tough order. Not everyone comes to comedy naturally – like Sarah Palin.
VICTORIA’S SING ALONG TIME – Come on all you right wingers, sing along!
There is no shortage of Americans full of crackpot ideas and imagined conspiracies. They’re usually part of an unknown cast preaching to like-minded goobs. But occasionally someone with a not-so-unknown name takes to the bloody pulpit.
Tipping the Hat Fantastic to Jr. Poobahs Everywhere
- There’s a reason you haven’t seen Victoria Jackson since she left SNL…she’s BATSHIT CRAZY! (Dave Away From Home)
- Did I leave it in the refrigerator? (Always Aroused Girl)
- Ahh, those crazy Irish lads and lasses. Makes ye be proud to drink green beer til ye puke – or listen to Crystal Meth – whichever comes first. (Bock the Robber)
- DING! You’re now free to move about the dance floor rapping like complete idiots…one the up side, it’ll only cost you $39 one-way, and we don’t charge for your bags! (Mock, Paper, Scissors)
- For some reason, drag queens are always such shrinking violets. (Will Coombes)
Just Another Day in the Intertubes
- Knowing about this in no way made it sexier. Erg. Sigh.
- A K-9 not clear on the concept of “police dog“.
- The Vagina Monologues in 16 acts.
- That”ll show those wimpy-assed Christians.
- Thou shalt worship no idols before me…except on Tuesday when it’s Bajang Day.
- Terrorists from the Bovine Liberation Front terrorize America’s heartland with special bombs and we don’t hear a peep from Dick Cheney? What’s up with that?
- “Markus” discovers that his chosen profession had been ruined by amateurs who’d do the same thing for free.
- From the looks of it, the world would be a better place if they just stayed under wraps.
- And the worst part is, the Resse’s Pieces pellets all over campus are really disgusting.
- This “Me Bot” thing could hold some promise. Just set it on autopilot and kiss all those boring meetings goodbye.
- God doesn’t hate fags, he hates idiots. GO JASON!
- Scientists recreate the face of Jesus, but onlookers don’t recognize it because it’s not on a piece of toast.
- There’s a great exhibit of 19th century plumbing expressionism at the Guggenheim.
- Automated celebrities, what will they think of next?
- I’m sure they’re cool and all, but £3600 for something that could give you splinters in embarrassing spots seems a bit steep.
- “Good evening. On our menu tonight, we have little green balls of death in a sauce beurre with haricot verts and sardines. Bon appetite!”
- Stayin’ sharp with Sharpies.
- “Is this Chicken of the Sea or just chicken?” Jessica asked. No Jessica, it’s a picture of a woman who likes to fart, which probably makes her as attractive to some men as her unbelievably huge hooters. And, it’s another picture of someone so gullible she’ll puncture an ear drum rather than listen to her own music. Oh never mind, Jessica. Yes, it’s chicken.
- I really did not need to know how to do this.
- Finally, a theatre seat smarter than the dumb ass using her cell phone sitting in it.
You Have to be a Bit Nutty to Be a Criminal Anyway
- In his defense, it was Feb. 3 and Donald just thought it was Opossum Day.
- Will you damn teabaggers take it easy before you hurt someone.
Japan, the Asian Paradise
- Shut up, hang up the phone, and play music!
- I don’t know a lot about fashion, but it seems Japanese designers are just as loony as the ones in Milan.
- Of course! This explains all those times I’ve seen the RotoRooter guy whistling!
- Kirsten Dunst rawks Sailor Moon in skimpy outfits!
- When the Japanese take a bath in it, the French can only cry.
More Crap the World Can Do Without
- Such is my hatred of mowing that the Lawn Scooter won’t appeal to me until it cuts the damn grass for me.
- If your ass is too lazy to walk, get a Segway. If your ass is too lazy to walk or stand up, get a Taurus. If you want to crack your balls on a protruding handle while riding, get a Winglet. If you want to be laughed off the face of the planet, get an Electric Networked Vehicle (ENV).
- Why do you never see a condom package that says, “Ribbed for His Pleasure?”
- You can never start the kids out for a life of kink too early I always say.
- Somehow eating McCaviar out of a tube ruins the experience.
- AAAHHHHHAAAAAHHHHAAAAA! Not funny, bitch!
- Entrepreneurialism at its worst. If you can’t sell the product, sell the box.
- More Randomness (omnipotentpoobah.com)
- Kirsten Dunst Is Your Magical Nerd Princess [Clips] (kotaku.com)
- WTF?! CocoRosie (albumartexchange.com)
- Stayin’ Alive (Or Die Tryin’) [Taxes] (cityfile.com)
- Dollar Dollar Bill Y’all (slog.thestranger.com)
- The Secret War of the Christian Right (modernfabulousity.blogspot.com)
- Eve Ensler Teaches Men To Find Their Inner Vagina (huffingtonpost.com)