The Election: Well, That was Anticlimactic

Obama wins the election

Well, that was anticlimactic. We listened to a grueling (for voters) 4-year long campaign during which we witnessed the worst political spectacle of the epoch. If, “liar, liar, pants on fire” meant anything, there wouldn’t be a pair of Levis left on the planet. The country immersed itself in a boiling cauldron of rancor so deep there is no word in English to adequately describe it. And yet, after all that, we have essentially the same balance of power as before.Well played America, well-played.

It’s time for a few observations and maybe a little advice. For the “mandate” crowd, winning an election by the skin of your teeth does not a mandate make. For the “it’s imponderable we lost” crowd, no it isn’t. You acted like a bunch of jackwads. For the “gridlock will finally break” crowd, what makes you think reelecting largely the same people who are already bought and paid for is going to break gridlock?

But since the nation is populated with a large ignorati caucus, let’s break it down real simple like:

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Pegleg Romney Decries Loss of Pirate Jobs, Blames Obama

The Hamptons (OPN) – The International Maritime Bureau announced on Monday that pirate attacks have decreased 54% over the past 6 months. The Bureau received reports of 177 attacks vs. 266 attacks in the previous reporting period. The unexpectedly low numbers have attracted the attention of embattled Presidential candidate Mitt Romney who blames President Barack Obama for the falling pirate jobs numbers.

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Pootiehead Romney Likes the Poop Head Bit

Pile of Crap

5000 Mittflies Can’t Be Wrong

Using the word “human” and Mitt Romney in the same sentence is such a weird concept that his campaign’s mission is to “humanize” him. When the man is a 1 percenter who brags of joy in firing people, describes corporations as people, and needs an elevator for his cars, it’s a tough order. Not everyone comes to comedy naturally – like Sarah Palin.

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