08/5/12

Randomness: 25 Things People Are Saying (Part II)

Who knew a chicken sandwich could be come a political symbol for a very real and serious argument over civil rights for homosexuals? The world has become a very strange place, so it’s time to choke some chicken and get to the 25 things people are saying about the Chick-fil-A controversy.

Take a vacashun frum beef

Free Bigotree with UR Chikin

Whee Ar Gay

Love Thy Gaybors

One Man One Woman

Who Lined Up for the Homeless Shelter?

Not Man or Cowz

Eat More Cock

Chicks Are Gay

Dress Like Me. Git Free Chikin

Eat Mor Chickin

Cant Hide My Pride

Nuthin' to Say

Male & Female Created He Them

Chick-fil-A coupon

Chick-fil-A Song

Family Value

Chick Puppy

Chick-fil-A Twitter

God Hates Chick-fil-A

Ate Mor Gay

Chick Church Sign

What He Heck

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08/4/12

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

A high school friend used to say, “Life is a shit sandwich and I take a bigger bite every day.” There’s a lot of cynical wisdom in that quote. The Shit Sandwich du Jour is the Chick-fil-A Spicy Chicken Deluxe and it’s leaving a shitty taste in everyone’s mouth.

I think Chick-fil-A CEO Dan Cathy’s gay marriage stance is wrong about the “biblical definition of the family unit” and quite frankly inconsequential and stupid. His position is a moral, corporate, and downright mean-spirited cock up if you’ll pardon the expression. The First Amendment allows me to say that just as it allows him to say what he wants, people to hold bigoted Appreciation Days, and respond with Gay Kiss-In Days. Freedom is messy and fractious.

Sure, his statements are about civil rights for gays, separation of church and state, and First Amendment guarantees, but some ancillary points are worth noting.

Cathy is a private person, but as King of Chickendom he is also the embodiment of the much-disputed corporate person. His cluck is the voice of Chick-fil-A. It is the voice of an employer forbidden to discriminate. The company is closely held so his voice and actions must also protect his investors’ valuable “fil-A’s”. When he speaks, his personal opinions become the opinions of the corporation. These things may not be direct constitutional issues in Chick-fil-A’s case, but they muddy the waters.

Like celebrities who slavishly court publicity, it is disingenuous to be surprised when the paparazzi and protesters show up. To his credit, Cathy is reaping what he sowed, but celebrities sometimes go all Justin Bieber on the paps’ asses and then whine about the intrusion they invited. Cathy could do the same if the fire and brimstone become too hot for him.

Cathy demonstrates the notion that private comments are well, private, but that celebrities, CEOs, and the powerful in the public eye give up reasonable expectations to exercise full First Amendment rights by default. Though changing, that is the foundation of American libel and defamation law. It may not be a fair legal position, but it is a practical one. Absent it, no one could question public figures because of the chilling effect of libel or defamation suits from every statement the public and powerful might dislike – truth be damned.

The protests will go on, like the core issue, until the public loses interest or gay marriage becomes law. However, Cathy should watch his gizzards and livers closely. With the increased scrutiny comes business-effecting public opinion duels, closer looks at the legality of corporate culture and behavior, and strict adherence to laws. As Mitt Romney and Barack Obama can tell you, in temperate personal opinions often come back to haunt you.

People should feel free to express their opinions but keep their protests in context. With all the hubbub on both sides we’re making chicken sandwiches and the religious zealot who sells them symbols for a serious and sober debate. The debate is becoming a series of chicken jokes. If you asked random protesters for gay marriage specifics most would parrot the stale lines they already spew plus add a mini-restaurant review of Chick-fil-A.

A little humor makes the bitter medecine go down, but it’s time to get back to civil rights for homosexuals.

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08/5/10

Voting Out the Constitution

Do Unto Others

DO UNTO OTHERS - If the anti-gay zealots don't like the Constitution perhaps they should read the Bible.

People usually remember the 1960s as a time of great strife over civil rights. If you were alive back in the day, the images of police dogs ripping into lines of civil rights marchers or white-sheeted thugs dancing around a burning cross is still a chilling thing and proof that America was indeed going through wrenching social change.

Many would also like to believe that the country has made great strides in the interim, and we have. But, there’s more to accomplish and the nation now finds itself spending much of its energy on fighting to simply hold onto the advances already made. Civil rights advancement is now threatened by organizations and morally dishonest politicians bent on carrying us back to 1864.

Yesterday’s decision to strike down California’s Prop 8 anti-gay marriage law was sound. The judge did an impressive job of listing all the factual and legal reasons – 80 in all – showing that the law is unconstitutional. An improvement to celebrate, but also an event that highlights anti-civil rights crudaders’ thinking.

Tim Wildmon of the sarcastically named American Family Association reacted with shocking vitriol, calling the court’s decision, “a tyrannical, abusive and utterly unconstitutional display of judicial arrogance.”

Wildmon Is Has a Queer Notion
Wildmon believes one of the principles at stake is ignoring the California voters, which he sees as unconstitutional. In doing so, Wildmon – who uses the 10th Amendment as a fig leaf himself – introduces the queer notion that the Constitution is up for a vote whenever you don’t like what it says.

Liza

LIZA WITH A 'Z' - What more need be said?

Similar to the rabble rousing for amending the 14th Amendment in the immigration battle, what Wildmon is proposing is that the Constitution – designed to be difficult to amend – should change to bend to the will of the latest ideological blowhard to come on the scene.

Mr. Wildmon, I ask you…if Californians voted to outlaw heterosexual marriage would you express the same fondness to the validity of their vote?

Wildmon also believes the “tyrannical and abusive”, Bush-the-Elder-appointed, judge should have recused himself from the case.

“It’s also extremely problematic that Judge Walker is a practicing homosexual himself, ” Wildmon said. “He should have recused himself from this case, because his judgment is clearly compromised by his own sexual proclivity.”

What I find “problematic” about Wildmon’s charge is that he is exhibiting his  own “proclivity” to act as a heterosexual, homophobic, quasi-religious leader. In other words – or more correctly Wildmon’s – “[Wildmon] should have recused himself from this case, because his judgment is clearly compromised by his own sexual [and religious] proclivity.”

I suspect the only judge Wildmon would find acceptable is an ordained Christian minister with a demonstrated track record of ignoring the Constitution in favor of a Christian Sharia-like theocracy – or a teabagger – whichever pinhead stepped forward first.

Americans are becoming increasingly unfamiliar with the basic tennents of the Constitution.They apparently believe that any hot head’s cause can simply be enacted by a simple vote. The Constitution is not the “McConstitution”. You can’t vote cheeseburgers off the menu because you don’t like them.

They believe that if there is a “war” on, the President, under no one’s authority other than his own, is permitted to suspend the Constitution’s guarantees against warrantless search or to hold prisoners indefinitely without charge.

Many Americans believe that the Constitution guarantees them freedom of religion, but also support depriving anyone other than Christians (they’re aren’t too hot on the Catholics either) of their similar freedom. Don’t like mosques too close to your shrine? Protest and file suit as Pat Robertson’s minions have done, but don’t be honest enough to mention that if it had been a Christian church you would’ve been praising the idea like it came from, well, God.

From Constitutional Ignorance, Instability Flows
From Constitutional ignorance, great instability flows. Unfortunately, those with such beliefs fail to see the unintended blow back from their muddled position.

Teabaggers and their similar-thinking ilk, like to wear tri-cornered hats and screech about keeping Big Gummint off their backs. If allowing someone to marry the person of their choosing is too much government involvement, then why isn’t government being on a gay person’s back equally bad?

Bush the Lesser did much to chip away at many civil rights during his reign and in areas like the conduct of our misbegotten wars and gay rights,  The Messiah™ continues walking the same swampy path.

One day, the blow back from their actions will come to haunt them and the people who cheered them. One day an administration will take office that isn’t so tolerant of their cavalier positions and decides to warrantlessly tap their phones, close their churches, or collect deep background on twerps like Wildmon.

And when they do, they’ll claim the same Constitutional protections because they changed the Constitution to allow it.

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04/4/10

The Place Where Your Rights End is Where My Rights Begin

I’m an atheist, or as I like to think – a “friendly” atheist. I know about religion’s dark side. The many, many wars over whose holy is holier than thou’s. The hypocrisy rampantly on display on C-Span, in St. Peter’s Square, and before various ethics groups and committees. Religion used as a bludgeon to pummel other beliefs into – if not in compliance – vapor. Yet, I still see a place for religion in the public square.

Life is a dark ride. Anything that helps people get through the night is a good thing. Heck, sometimes I even envy believers’ ability to say a few words and be instantly comforted. But, that isn’t how I’m wired. I don’t believe in God so any strength I need to summon comes from within. I view it as a nearly pure form of self-reliance and responsibility. It’s a stance that’s worked well for me and I see no reason to change.

I believe that someone else’s rights end at the place where they impinge upon mine. If religious groups insist on placing “In God We Trust” on money, I’m cool. The money spends the same as it always has. I’m not being deprived of anything.

However, I understand the argument that every display of religion be removed from the public square so the country doesn’t slide down the slippery slope to theocracy. But in exchange for this live and let live pragmatism, I expect a little respect in turn.

For example, formalized prayer in school impinges on the freedom to NOT practice a religion. Some schools endorse it in such a way as to cause kids embarrassment, something that isn’t good for the kid, me, or society. I’ll trade the “In God We Trusts” for praying to oneself any time they want – even in the classroom – as long as you do it privately.

The same is true for Christians’ seemingly unquenchable desire to nail the Ten Commandments to every flat surface on Earth. Don’t get me wrong. I think the 10 Commandments are as good any ethical checklist you’re likely to find anywhere. But, I don’t think it’s necessary to post it in so many places that you can’t swing a bottle of holy water without hitting one. If you must be reminded to be good every 10 minutes you aren’t paying enough attention to your religion anyway. And if you must be reminded, keep a copy in your wallet and pull it out each time you’re feeling compelled to worship no God before Him.

I’m always dismayed that we spend so much time on these relatively minor points. Simply-speaking, none of these things mean a hill of communion wafers in the end.

But there are important issues. For example, same-sex marriage or gays in the military. Treating homosexuals different from the majority-religion is wrong, constitutionally and morally. In my mind, that’s where a religion’s insistence on forcing gay people to be someone they aren’t is where religion’s rights should end.

I’ve yet to see an example of homosexuals having their rights denied based on any substantial evidence. Gay sex doesn’t affect a religion’s rights to practice what they preach. Same-sex marriage doesn’t devalue the sanctity of marriage any more than divorce does. It doesn’t cause anyone to turn gay. It doesn’t even force you to accept it. You can continue to hate gay people. It’s your right to associate or love anyone you wish, just as it is a gay person’s.

When I ask these questions of anti-gay religious groups I’ve gotten only one of two answers. The sound of crickets chirping and “because the Bible tells me so”.

If one chooses to not believe the Bible, it holds no more water than Creationism or Intelligent Design.

Any democracy worth its salt understands and respects different beliefs. Just because Christianity is the predominate religion doesn’t mean that all other expressions of faith (or no faith) be verboten. It doesn’t mean that Christians shouldn’t have the right to practice their faith either. But to get along, we all have to understand the rights and responsibilities of who we are.

And that’s no different than any other part of the human existence.

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03/30/10

Ball Gags and Congress: Legislating Morals is Stupid

Do It, Do It, Do It Till You're Satisfied

ONE'S AS BAS AS THE OTHER - Sexual scandals hit both parties equally. This time it's Michael Steele and the Republicans, next week it will be a kinky Democrat with the self control of Tiger Woods or Jesse James.

Update Shameless self-promotion for my post  At the Tipping Point Between Free Speech and Deadly Speech. The Hartford Courant gave it a shout out and made some excellent points on the same topic. They also expanded the use of one of my favorite words, “crapweasel”. You can’t ask for any more than that.

Now, back to today’s post already in progress.

Tip O’Neill, former Speaker of the House, once said, “all politics is local”, but in today’s heated and converging political grudge matches it’s also correct to say, “all sexual politics is local”.

Gay marriage? Some states are on the bandwagon. Some steadfastly refuse. Others are rethinking previous positions and ballot initiatives on the issue. Meanwhile, gays flock to states to join together in unions that some men still try to put asunder and wait to see if their own states will recognize what they’ve done.

One step forward 1.5 steps back as they say.

Gays in the military? The Obama administration is finally thawing their tepid policy to pay back an important political chit donated by most of the nation’s gays – though not as fast as they’d hoped.

A Homophobic Teddy Roosevelt and His Rough Riders
The pro-discrimination side charges the San Juan Hill of the issue like a band of rough riding, homophobic Teddy Roosevelts. Even the Joint Chiefs and other top brass can’t agree. Ex-General John Sheehan accused the Dutch army of genocide in Srebrenica and blamed it all on “the gays”. He now finds himself apologizing over the international incident under threat of a lawsuit.

Change of heart? Don’t be surprised if it’s merely a case of hypocritical mega-embarrassment and big legal bills.

Over on the other side, the Secretary of Defense is loosening restrictions. Other generals are jumping aboard a bandwagon most other industrialized nations are already on and there is growing support in the electorate.

Many of those opposed to sexual rights – like South Africa’s electric probe wielding, alleged gay soldier-curing “Dr. Shock” – are clearly as full of sexual self-loathing as Ted Haggard. But ironically, the latest hetero sex scandal is a good illustration of how gender and politics frequently try to occupy the same place in America.

Elephant DildoA Republican National Committee staffer treated some Young Eagle donors to a night of bondage a-go-go after an official RNC event. That’s pretty heavy stuff from the party of running away from regular sex like the plague, then jumping into a private jet (probably on loan from a bank or insurance company) to escape kinky sex. Gay sex? They take a rocket to the closest toilet stall.

Young Eagles Take Flight on RNC Dime
Personally, I don’t care if Young Eagles like the occasional ball-gag or lesbian flogging session. It’s their business to choose what they do in the privacy of a strip club. I also don’t care that the RNC spent money on it, except to the extent that it helps show a pattern of hypocrisy – oh, and because it makes fools of them too.

The Whitest Black Man in America, RNC “leader” Michale Steele, claims he knew nothing about the incident and fired the staffer as soon as he found out. Good. They guy should be fired.

However, because Steele was at the helm he should also accept responsibility to do like every other business in the nation does and instruct employees to not  be $2000 worth of strip club stupid. Other Republicans are emerging from their undisclosed locations where they’re hiding from the hypocrisy to flame the unpopular Steele. This may be the straw that breaks his back.

Let’s face it, both sides have these incidents. Both sides hide their embarrassment, but ignore it long enough to go do the same things as soon as the scandal du jour blows over. Both sides demonstrate the stupidity, critical thinking skills, and general ass-hattedness of Tiger Woods or Jesse James. Sooner or later idiotic behavior catches up to them – usually in horrific embarrassment, divorce, and career ruination.

Ye reap what ye sew.

These examples happen to be Republican, but Dems shouldn’t cackle too loudly. They’ve been caught – and will continue to be caught – in similar situations. The nation has its hands more than full with real problems and can ill afford to spend so much time trying to legislate moral issues. Sex should concern no one other the folks doing it.

It’s time to leave TMZ to embarrass the knotheads if they persist in being ignoramuses and keep our noses out of it.

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