Robotics | The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

TRIPPING ALL OVER HIMSELF - Russian Alexander Tretyakov finds out there's a reason they call his event "skeleton"

TRIPPING ALL OVER HIMSELF - Russian Alexander Tretyakov finds out the hard way that there's a reason they call his event the "skeleton".

The Thrill of Victory, the Agony of Da Feet

“And the silver metal for the 500 meter Dumbass Race goes to DAVID MOELLER!”
You do have to admit, it’s more physically demanding than curling.
“…and the well-equipped team from Germany is poised to take the gold.”
Suddenly, the Canadian team found it was a bad idea to bring the cheerleaders along.
Curling was a new event for them, but the Japanese team was out to prove they were a force to be reckoned with.
Frank always felt a little dirty after watching figure skating.
Look at the gold on Lindsay!

Robots in Search of a Reason

Where the hell was this droid when we were trying to top China in the Olympic ping pong event?
Sure, these robots are cool if by cool you mean elf-lords with thick glasses and pocket protectors.
Bottoms up, it’s the Android Olympics.
I’m flabbergasted. There are “cons” to a robot army?

Consumerism: The Oil for Humanity’s Third Wheels

Was it not enough to have your ex-girlfriend’s name tattooed on your chest by Spike, your cellmate at San Q.?
The perfect accessory to go with your Flobee.
http://mwaaaahhh-ha-ha.com.
Watch your “As Seen on TV” product appear on TV“.
I hear the Duck Fetus Egg Grand Slam at Denny’s is superb.
I mean really, who DOESN’T need a spare cat in case of emergency?
Buster found it was a great rug until he tugged at one of the strings.
You should see the ones at the Big & Tall Men’s shop.
PETA would be so proud.
Bill and Janet bought the green whip because they only wanted to hurt each other, not the environment.
You can catch more flies with honey hummus.

What the Hell is Wrong With People?

No shit?!
Susan Sarandon is one klassy broad.
John always held to the quite sane view that he would never put anything more flammable than a Q-Tip in his ear.
Defibrillators do seem like a sane move in a country filled with rich, fat, white bankers when you come to think about it.
As airlines go, Air Canada’s “no-stink” policy was a bit draconian.
“Yeah, we gotta bun, some mustard, and an app for that.”
Yeah, I agree. I wouldn’t ask and hope Bill O’Reilly wouldn’t tell.
In his research, Professor Bob was never amazed by the broad spectrum of sexual fetishes he found at the Hush Puppy store.
CNN – The World’s Most Kinky Network.
Orly only went to the UN after asking the Obama administration for asylum. Oddly, they didn’t agree.

COPS! Live with the Men and Women of Law Enforcement

Warrant? Warrant”? We don’t need no stinkin’ warrant.
Two more condoms and they would’ve had to use an actual mule to carry the drugs.
It may stop bullets, but you can kick it over pretty easily.
Man bites dog. Apparently, too much Starbucks coffee is to blame.
“Bacon rustlers strike British pub! Film at 11!”
It was just another 2 am at the Waffle House.

Nowhere Else to Go

Global warming is causing the planet to bleed!
Remember, it’s not true until you read it in the National Enquirer Pravda.
The scent of irony was palpable in the air.

Japan, Land of the Weirdly Rising Sun

“Break me off a piece of that Kat Kat bar…”
Why am I slightly terrified, yet aroused, by these women?
I try all the time, but I can never get the hang of the damn things.

OLYMPIC BLOW JOB - The thanks of a greatful nation are bestowed upon bronze medal-winner Scotty Lago.

More Randomness (omnipotentpoobah.com)
Just Like Mombot Used to Make (nytimes.com)
The Olympics Sap-o-Meter: Falling in a winter blunderland. (slate.com)
Bill Nye Schools Bill O’Reilly in Climate Change (Video) (treehugger.com)
Olbermann To O’Reilly: Stop ‘Stroking Yourself In Front of the Public’ (newsbusters.org)
Gawker.TV: The Five Best Videos Ever of the Day [Roundups] (gawker.com)
The Sexual Lives of News Anchors: A Guide [Field Guide] (gawker.com)
Last-place ski jumpers impress Calgary school (cbc.ca)

Share/Bookmark

SPERMS AWAY - The Japanese often do inexplicable things. (NSFW) More >>

Like Selling Refrigerators to the Eskimos

She’s like a virgin except not in the wholesome Madonna sort of way.
She’s just like Malibu Barbie, except with thick glasses, no tan, and a better attitude.
Dog is my dearly departed copilot.
Advertising for the tea party set.
Ten thousand tools in the damn thing and it still doesn’t have Bluetooth.
It’s like getting screwed all the way to the afterlife.
It’s little wonder Victorian women were so shy about sex.
I will respectfully refrain from any and all “you go girl” jokes.

The Political Realm

If Oprah can do it, so can Sarah. I can’t wait to see the Hockey Mom’s recipie for moose mousse. (Zaius Nation)
I won’t ask so please, I’m begging you, don’t tell.

That Clanking You Hear is the Sound of the Future

What do you mean “own”? Robots are their own masters.
Curiosity killed the robot.
Gadabout Gaddis would so have a hard-on for these fish.
He may not be as impressive as the real RoboCop, but he gets the job done.

Who Are These People and Why are They Allowed to Breed?

Snooki is such a refined lady.
John Mayer, may be a klassy guy (spelled with a “K”), but he’s one lucky sumbitch.
Hilary was none too happy when she discovered what her uncle Ken left her in the will.
Yeah, yeah, we all know the answer to what a man wears under his kilt…but it’s still cool to see it again.
Hard Hitting Journalism: True stories of “the Littlest Gosselin“. And by Littlest Gosselin we don’t mean this dude.
This never happens on ESPN, even at the Olympics.
Just remember, they all came for a good cause.
Beth, that’s one mighty fine husband you got there.
More proof that a college education is a waste on some people.
Suddenly, someone shouted out to no one in particular, “WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE MOOSE KNUCKLE ON ELVIS!“
In the doctors’ defense, they weren’t really looking for golf balls.
The advantages of having really good neighbors.
At first Patrick was a little pissed, but then he logged onto prostheticsexchange.com and everything turned out all right.
Patients usually didn’t select Dr. Phelps for his bedside manner.
I…AM…JUST…APPALED.

Square Pegs in Search of Round Holes

Throw another ‘roo on the barbie mate!
He Wenjun gave up on painting the Lord’s Prayer on grains of rice early in life.
It’s a pretty impressive laser, but somehow it doesn’t seem very efficient.
You can never have too many Jesus sightings. Or notes to the big guy either.
Ronald Reagan single-handedly cause the break up of the Soviet Union by simply deflating them.
Ever since Oprah talked about her “va-jay-jay” on TV, women felt the need to come out of the closet about their own.
New moons rising.

True Crime = True Stupidity

Patrons did say the stripper had a really hot act.
Apparently not everyone was “shovel ready” during Snowpacalypse.
In his defense, the TVs were all running those annoying Walmart ads with the smiley faces at the time.
In his inebriated state, Jamie thought they were trying to put the alcohol back in.
And you thought banning gay marriage was crazy.
Thank God they were only violations, I thought he was into something really kinky.
Austin didn’t feel as though he should have been arrested. “When you gotta go, you gotta go” was his motto.
Original reports indicated the culprit was Mike Tyson and a chunk of ear, but the police finally straightened everything out.
That darn cat has 9 sex lives.

The Land of the Weirdly Rising Sun

Clearly, the Japanese are wrapped way too tight, but that’s no reason not to make a buck off it.
One possible explanation for the suicide rate.
Whatever you say about the Japanese, you do have to admire their woodworking skills.
Apparently, they get Americans to do these things because the Japanese are too dignified.
Jack, from Jack in the Box, apparently has a black head in Japan.

More Omnipotent Randomness (omnipotentpoobah.com)
John Mayer and Playboy, Part 2: The self-loathing Twitterpology (latimesblogs.latimes.com)
Paris Hilton May Have Gotten Drunk on Valentine’s Day, Whereas Britney Spears Just Ate McDonald’s [Gossip Roundup] (gawker.com)
The “I Actually Like John Mayer” Post (mrsmogul.blogspot.com)
Snowpocalypse Knows Not the Divide Between Celebrity and Mortal, Lady Gaga and Jersey Shore [Gossip Roundup] (gawker.com)
Christian Louboutin’s Second Designer Barbie Unveiled (shoppingblog.com)
The 9 Douchiest Things John Mayer Has Ever Said (huffingtonpost.com)
A Letter From A Guy Who Had Sex With A Girl He Has Never Met (worldofalbert.blogspot.com)
Proto-2 Humanoid Robot (ubergizmo.com)
John Mayer-McCheese In Blackface x Oprah Doesn’t Approve John Mayer’s N-Word Pass, Will Not Have Him On Her Show (shabooty.com)

Share/Bookmark

The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

Businesses are rarely ruined by the actions of the employees.

Tag Archives: Robotics

Randomness: Olympic Gold Style

Randomness: Product Endorsement Style