THE DEVIL MADE HIM DO IT - Protect thyself and thine cat from the Spawn of Satan. Click photo for more >>

Non-Prophet

• This movie has a real Old Testament vibe going on.
• I’ve always suspected there was something unreal about a disembodied being floating around creating universes. But then, maybe I’m wrong.
• Jesus may have been able to walk on water, but he apparently can’t walk in front of a Buick.
• Baggers for Jesus!
• Well, if we can’t get into your pants, how about your robe?

Robots Gone Wild

• Do men fear robotic prostate surgery? Well, probably no more than women fear robotic episiotomies.
• I’ll be impressed when it crushes the cans on its giant robotic head.
• I’m pretty sure there are more efficient ways to get rid of all the cocktail hostesses.
• Deep thoughts by Jack Handey Robbie the Robot.
• Clearly, mind reading robots may not be one of the brightest ideas to come out of Japan.
• Be sure to see Robocod II, Carps of Vengance.
• Toyota introduces the Dancebuster 3000 and then immediately recalls it because robots can’t dance with failing brakes.
• It’s a great invention, but the only use for it appears to be choking the crap out of Hello Kitty fans.

GOING TO THE DOGS - The world is such that even dogs get confused these days.

Japanalia

• Blood is not thicker than love.
• There’s always room for Jello water.
• Happy Unbirthday Hello Kitty!

The Web is Neither a Time Nor a Place, It’s a State of Mind

• Yessss, there IS an explanation for how Obama won the Nobel Prize!
• Cute and tiny hedgehog cast alert!
• It could’ve been worse, he could’ve used the heads to carry buckets instead of the other way around.
• Let’s let the facts speak for themselves, “You are 10 times more likely to be the victim of pinata related violence than a terrorist attack.” It’s obviously time for the TSA to ban them.
• Kid with incredibly huge ears proves there’s a missing genetic link to Bugs Bunny.
• I’ve seen a lot of unicorn posts, but this one is the best by far.
• OK, this is the last straw. Google desperately needs to be regulated before they start screwing around with a beer goggle app called, Beer Googles.
• Let’s put another bridesmaid on the barbie.
• Skittles, feel the peenie.
• I feel much better. The crushed blue velvet tux I wore to my prom looks like timeless fashion compared to these chumps.
• Please, tell us how you really feel about your ex-wife.
• Tonight is Virgin Night on Deal or No Deal.
• Riddle me this: What’s 30,000 years old, rock hard, 8 inches long, and was broken in a fit of passion?
• So they find a roach, a mouse, and some dried blood. Whatta they do? Slap those bad boys between two tender chicken patties and chow down! That’s what I’m talkin’ ’bout!
• “Psst. Psst. Hey, dude. Dude! You wanna score some fresh lob?”
• Whereupon, Michelle Obama then went to Duff’s Famous Wings and kicked the crap out of the little slut.
• Yukio Hatoyama is angling to take over Don Cherry’s spot on Hockey Night in Canada.
• The family wasn’t so upset with Emma about posing provocatively. It was riding to the photo shoot in a car that really tweaked their shoo-fly pie.

PARTY ON DUUUDE! - Watch out Cabo, it's Grannies Gone Wild! Click photo for more>>

Stupid Human Tricks

• In his defense, he WAS distracted from that last lap dance.
• What would possess one to cram an eel up one’s ass?
• It was later revealed that Uwe married the cat to get it onto his health care plan.
• Yet another reason the Justin Bieber phenomenon is so puzzling.
• When they said, “penis butterfly tattoo” I thought they meant a butterfly tattooed on your penis – silly me.
• You were “hungry”? Dude, Jack in the Box is open 24X7 and has bitchin’ ground nose tacos. Get a clue!
• Come on, let’s dance! “Everybody was kung fu farting, doodle do doodle do do do.”
• Im cummmmmmiiiiiiiiig, RU2?
• In his defense, it’s not as if the priest fell asleep molesting an 11-year old boy.
• It’s a very understanding husband who believes his wife became pregnant from watching a 3D porn movie.
• So the moral of the story is, “think before you ink“.
• I wonder if practitioners of vore can be vegan?
• Convicted of touching the judge’s butt, the defense argued for a mistrial based on the old Cerebral Palsy defense.
• Andrew was charged with having, “an extreme pornographic image which portrayed in an explicit and realistic way a person performing an act of intercourse with a dead animal, namely a squid, which was grossly offensive, disgusting, or of obscene character”. Um, yeah.
• Sartania, that horse is probably already out of the barn.

Proof That Unrestricted Capitalism is the Scourge of the Earth

• Of all the pet problems I’m aware of, covering up your dog’s ugly asshole is somewhere near the bottom of the list.
• I could be wrong, but I’m thinking goat hair leg warmers won’t be hot sellers this Christmas.
• If you have big enough boobs to hide, the solution probably isn’t covering them with a glorified handkerchief.
• Of course, this explains the new butt aisle at Home Depot.
• When Arizona found the Gringo Mask, they knew they’d found the solution for illegal immigration.
• Never eat toast without the visage of Jesus on it again.
• In a technological triumph, the British have improved the Maxwell Smart-era Cone of Silence technology.

Related articles

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• Videos: Toyota’s amazing violin-playing robot (crunchgear.com)
• And the Make: Robot Build winner is…. (makezine.com)
• “Will a Robot Care for My Mom?” (medgadget.com)
• CrunchGear visits the Tsukumo Robot Kingdom in Akihabara (photo report) (crunchgear.com)
• Taiwan’s robot army revealed at Shanghai Expo (dvice.com)
• 2-ton Husqvarna DXR-310 demolition robot (makezine.com)
• Robot With Knives Used In Robotics Injury Study (hardware.slashdot.org)
• Robots: 50 Years of Robotics (Part 2) (spectrum.ieee.org)
• 50 Awesome Papercraft Robots (wired.com)
• New rescue robot pulls victims inside its body (crunchgear.com)
• Advanced DNA Robots Announced By Scientists (huffingtonpost.com)
• Family Nanny robot is just five years and $1,500 away from being your new best friend (engadget.com)
• Japan’s giant leap: Humanoid robot on the moon by 2015 (dvice.com)
• Video of cat vs. robot (Spoiler: cat OWNS the robot!) (dvice.com)

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