Oh Iraq, Our Troublesome Child

Fighting in FalujahOh Iraq, our troublesome child. You are our wayward kid with a drug problem. Always in trouble, and try as we might, undeniably unfixable.

Everyone is both right and wrong to blame someone else. Georges Greater Lesser screwed the pooch like a Great Dane on a Wiener Dog in heat. Obama inherited the family Georges’ steaming heaps of dog poo. But he ran for office to get them so he can’t call backsies now.

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OMG, I Agree With Michele Bachmann!

Who's That Behind Those Foster Grants?

TWO BOMB HANGOVER - He's not going to go easily, but should we be the ones to try to make him?

In the midst of the crapstorm that has become life in these United States, I sometimes feel as if I’ve slipped into a parallel dimension populated exclusively by tea partiers, Glen Beck clones, Sarah Palin stand up comedians, and our reigning dizzy queen Michele Bachmann. That’s why when I agreed with one of her statements, I headed straight for the antipsychotics.

Please God, don’t let me die a “dittohead”!

The Maybe I’ll Certainly Run for President in 2012 Unless I Change My Mind Before Deciding to Redecide Again candidate laid into The Messiah™ for leading his uncoalesced coalition into Libya. Not surprisingly she’s against it, though I’m confident she would’ve been for it if Obama had decided against intervention. But this this time? I agree with her.

Doin’ the Tripoli Tango
Obama made a mistake in entering the fray. Michele and I agree there seems to be little compelling strategic US interest involved. As for the humanitarianism angle, there are places that DO involve strategic US interests AND plenty of poor wretches being ground under the jackboots of a dozen Col. Loony Toons and DickTaters. We aren’t feeling particularly humanitarian there, so WTF? The US simply cannot be the world’s cop. There’s an infinite supply of bad people and you can’t wipe them all out without weakening yourself. Even Bush the Lesser understood that, though he sometimes didn’t act that way.

I think Michele’s a little weak on the whole “al Qaeda” is afoot angle and by referring to the fiasco in the making as the “Obama Doctrine” she’s ignoring the fact that one decision does not a full doctrine make. These decisions should and are based on the conditions at the moment, whether they’re good or bad.

Oy VeyNow, we’re  seeing the ghosts of neo-conservatism on Obama. He’s apparently signed a “secret order” authorizing covert support for the Libyan rebels. We’re slow learners about this whole, “let’s have a big freedom party and call all the poor kids over for punch, cookies, and purple thumb votes” thing. See Exhibits A (Iraq), B (Afghanistan), C-Z (dozens of other places where we’ve intervened to no great or lasting effect).

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Going to War: Let Every Pie Hole Sing

If there’s one thing Barak Obama and George Bush have in common, it’s the uncanny ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Today’s Exhibit A: Libya.

In a single clumsy flail, Super O has gone both too fast and too slow. Talked too much and too little. Been the soul of diplomatic discretion and a bumbling, unrepentant war monger. He wants the US to lead his new Coalition of the Inept and drop out of it by dinner time. And, he wants Kadafhi dead so he can invite him over for a BBQ on the South Lawn.

The list, as every pissed off American with a pie hole says, is endless.

To be fair, where the hell were the asscakes railing against him now when Moses George wandered off into the desert in search of the Burning Bush, only to turn into a burning Bush instead? And that advise and consent thing? Who the hell are you kidding? There hasn’t been a declared war since WWII. Hell, Bush couldn’t even figure out what to call his before settling on the zesty, “War of Error” moniker.

The list of hypocrisy, as every pissed off American with a pie hole says, is endless.

The Secret Kenyan Goes George Bushy
Still, the secret Kenyan clearly hasn’t thought this through. If he knows the endgame, he’s gone all George Bushy in his inability to explain it. By not having a clear set of goals, a way to know you’re done, and how to pack up and get the hell out of Tripoli, you can start reading the ever-growing list of poor plans having come back to bite us: Korea, Vietnam, Iraq I, Iraq II, and Afghanistan to name a few.

Then, there is the war fighting on the domestic front. Republicans just hope he fails at everything. Liberals want the US to run out and save the world every time some tin pot dictator gets rambunctious. And cost? Phht, we haven’t paid off the last two bloody walkabouts yet and the lobby for cutting funding for them is slim and none. Libya is our next supplemental budget item.

To successfully manage policy, one has to start before the events do. Instead of propping up the Mubaraks and Kadafhis of the world, how about we pick and choose our strong men better? In business terms any overstuffed CEO could understand, the cost benefit ratio of removing one asshat and replacing him with another is no way to maximize our investments and incentify the world to peace.

1, 2, 3, 4, What’re We Fightin’ For?
We also need some vague idea of what we’re fighting for before we go. If it’s to defend defenseless civilians, how about the dozens of other places where people try to beat nonsense into each others’ heads with radar-guided sticks. Do we go to the wall for oppressed Norwegians or downtrodden Guineans?

Going to war, a police action, or a no-fly zone is messy business. Rarely are the situations clear. Something will come back to haunt your decision. Going to war is as much, or more, about the future than the present, so it behooves us to think about what we’re going to do before the time comes to do it.

The biggest single thing that pisses off the rest of the world is that every 4 years the US changes foreign policy from unilaterally nuking our perceived enemies until they glow to crawling on bended knee to every insane, Third World megalomaniac to ask forgiveness for not having given him an extra $2 billion and change as a tax for their often specious support.

And the rest of the world has a point. So, lets gear up, keep our heads low, and try to get this thing finished before it turns out a bigger muddle than the two we already have.

As a nation, want can’t take much more fighting someone else’s battles for freedom before we end up having to refight our own here at home.

Viva la common sense!

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