Ramdomness: Obamacare Style

Dog Bag

YO QUIERO PURSE - In hindsight, Versace realized their purse would never sell in Middle America. Click photo >>

This Month in the Journal of the AMA

Just Your General WTFitude

What This World Needs is a Good 5 Cent Robot

Ow, That’s Gonna Leave a Mark!

Rat's Ass

HE DOESN'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS - Dick Cheney spent months hunting in the wild, but finally bagged his best trophy closer to home. Click photo >>

You Know that a Career in Crime Isn’t for You When…

And People Wonder Why Americans are the World’s Top Consumers


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Stormy Daniels: Republican Vanguard of Free Market Capitalism

Stormy for Senate

FREE MARKET CAPITALIST? - Porn star Stormy Daniels has jumped on the Bondage Gate bandwagon, but not in the way you might think. Perhaps there's a spot for Stormy in the next Republican administration as the Liaison for Strip Club Affairs.

Almost everything has unintended consequences. In the wake of Bondage Gate, the Democrats’ best friend and RNC chair, Michael Steele, is in hot water…again. RNC Chief of Staff, Ken McCay, has resigned and top Steele advisor, Curt Anderson has left before the door hit his ass on the way out. But these are just the run-of-the-mill throwing people under the busism that follows any juicy scandal.

For real unintended consequences, consider this: porn star Stormy DanielsNot Safe For Work has thrown her lot in with the Republicans precisely because they “invested” in the Voyeur nightclub Not Safe For Work.

“I know from experience that a mere $1900 outlay at a club with the reputation of Voyeur is a clear indication of a frugal investment with a keen eye toward maximum return,” Daniels said. “…it is time that our government and our tax policy begin rewarding entrepreneurship and creativity again. It is time again to inspire positive risks and out-of-the-box thinking in the interest of growing a strong economy and a strong America.”

God, I get hot when a woman talks debt-to-equity ratios and actualized ROI.

Stormy Daniels Military Affairs

POLISHING THE BRASS - Daniels has top-notch credentials to snag her a spot on the military affairs committee.

You have to admire a gal who both gives good head and has a good head on her shoulders though. She would seem to be a perfect fit with many conservative Republicans who prefer the company of a beautiful and randy, young capitalist rather than their dowdy homosexual beards and strict C-Street widows – the purty schoolmarm excepted, you betcha.

While Stormy is as good a representative of forward-thinking Republican free-market capitalism as anyone, it remains to be seen if the fundamentalists in the Republican Big Tent will take a shine to Stormy’s 36DD “tents”.

Somehow boobs, bondage, and bonuses aren’t really what the RNC is looking for right now – but check back tomorrow. The situation could change.

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Ball Gags and Congress: Legislating Morals is Stupid

Do It, Do It, Do It Till You're Satisfied

ONE'S AS BAS AS THE OTHER - Sexual scandals hit both parties equally. This time it's Michael Steele and the Republicans, next week it will be a kinky Democrat with the self control of Tiger Woods or Jesse James.

Update Shameless self-promotion for my post  At the Tipping Point Between Free Speech and Deadly Speech. The Hartford Courant gave it a shout out and made some excellent points on the same topic. They also expanded the use of one of my favorite words, “crapweasel”. You can’t ask for any more than that.

Now, back to today’s post already in progress.

Tip O’Neill, former Speaker of the House, once said, “all politics is local”, but in today’s heated and converging political grudge matches it’s also correct to say, “all sexual politics is local”.

Gay marriage? Some states are on the bandwagon. Some steadfastly refuse. Others are rethinking previous positions and ballot initiatives on the issue. Meanwhile, gays flock to states to join together in unions that some men still try to put asunder and wait to see if their own states will recognize what they’ve done.

One step forward 1.5 steps back as they say.

Gays in the military? The Obama administration is finally thawing their tepid policy to pay back an important political chit donated by most of the nation’s gays – though not as fast as they’d hoped.

A Homophobic Teddy Roosevelt and His Rough Riders
The pro-discrimination side charges the San Juan Hill of the issue like a band of rough riding, homophobic Teddy Roosevelts. Even the Joint Chiefs and other top brass can’t agree. Ex-General John Sheehan accused the Dutch army of genocide in Srebrenica and blamed it all on “the gays”. He now finds himself apologizing over the international incident under threat of a lawsuit.

Change of heart? Don’t be surprised if it’s merely a case of hypocritical mega-embarrassment and big legal bills.

Over on the other side, the Secretary of Defense is loosening restrictions. Other generals are jumping aboard a bandwagon most other industrialized nations are already on and there is growing support in the electorate.

Many of those opposed to sexual rights – like South Africa’s electric probe wielding, alleged gay soldier-curing “Dr. Shock” – are clearly as full of sexual self-loathing as Ted Haggard. But ironically, the latest hetero sex scandal is a good illustration of how gender and politics frequently try to occupy the same place in America.

Elephant DildoA Republican National Committee staffer treated some Young Eagle donors to a night of bondage a-go-go after an official RNC event. That’s pretty heavy stuff from the party of running away from regular sex like the plague, then jumping into a private jet (probably on loan from a bank or insurance company) to escape kinky sex. Gay sex? They take a rocket to the closest toilet stall.

Young Eagles Take Flight on RNC Dime
Personally, I don’t care if Young Eagles like the occasional ball-gag or lesbian flogging session. It’s their business to choose what they do in the privacy of a strip club. I also don’t care that the RNC spent money on it, except to the extent that it helps show a pattern of hypocrisy – oh, and because it makes fools of them too.

The Whitest Black Man in America, RNC “leader” Michale Steele, claims he knew nothing about the incident and fired the staffer as soon as he found out. Good. They guy should be fired.

However, because Steele was at the helm he should also accept responsibility to do like every other business in the nation does and instruct employees to not  be $2000 worth of strip club stupid. Other Republicans are emerging from their undisclosed locations where they’re hiding from the hypocrisy to flame the unpopular Steele. This may be the straw that breaks his back.

Let’s face it, both sides have these incidents. Both sides hide their embarrassment, but ignore it long enough to go do the same things as soon as the scandal du jour blows over. Both sides demonstrate the stupidity, critical thinking skills, and general ass-hattedness of Tiger Woods or Jesse James. Sooner or later idiotic behavior catches up to them – usually in horrific embarrassment, divorce, and career ruination.

Ye reap what ye sew.

These examples happen to be Republican, but Dems shouldn’t cackle too loudly. They’ve been caught – and will continue to be caught – in similar situations. The nation has its hands more than full with real problems and can ill afford to spend so much time trying to legislate moral issues. Sex should concern no one other the folks doing it.

It’s time to leave TMZ to embarrass the knotheads if they persist in being ignoramuses and keep our noses out of it.

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