maxwell smart | The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

THE DEVIL MADE HIM DO IT - Protect thyself and thine cat from the Spawn of Satan. Click photo for more >>

Non-Prophet

This movie has a real Old Testament vibe going on.
I’ve always suspected there was something unreal about a disembodied being floating around creating universes. But then, maybe I’m wrong.
Jesus may have been able to walk on water, but he apparently can’t walk in front of a Buick.
Baggers for Jesus!
Well, if we can’t get into your pants, how about your robe?

Robots Gone Wild

Do men fear robotic prostate surgery? Well, probably no more than women fear robotic episiotomies.
I’ll be impressed when it crushes the cans on its giant robotic head.
I’m pretty sure there are more efficient ways to get rid of all the cocktail hostesses.
Deep thoughts by Jack Handey Robbie the Robot.
Clearly, mind reading robots may not be one of the brightest ideas to come out of Japan.
Be sure to see Robocod II, Carps of Vengance.
Toyota introduces the Dancebuster 3000 and then immediately recalls it because robots can’t dance with failing brakes.
It’s a great invention, but the only use for it appears to be choking the crap out of Hello Kitty fans.

GOING TO THE DOGS - The world is such that even dogs get confused these days.

Japanalia

Blood is not thicker than love.
There’s always room for Jello water.
Happy Unbirthday Hello Kitty!

The Web is Neither a Time Nor a Place, It’s a State of Mind

Yessss, there IS an explanation for how Obama won the Nobel Prize!
Cute and tiny hedgehog cast alert!
It could’ve been worse, he could’ve used the heads to carry buckets instead of the other way around.
Let’s let the facts speak for themselves, “You are 10 times more likely to be the victim of pinata related violence than a terrorist attack.” It’s obviously time for the TSA to ban them.
Kid with incredibly huge ears proves there’s a missing genetic link to Bugs Bunny.
I’ve seen a lot of unicorn posts, but this one is the best by far.
OK, this is the last straw. Google desperately needs to be regulated before they start screwing around with a beer goggle app called, Beer Googles.
Let’s put another bridesmaid on the barbie.
Skittles, feel the peenie.
I feel much better. The crushed blue velvet tux I wore to my prom looks like timeless fashion compared to these chumps.
Please, tell us how you really feel about your ex-wife.
Tonight is Virgin Night on Deal or No Deal.
Riddle me this: What’s 30,000 years old, rock hard, 8 inches long, and was broken in a fit of passion?
So they find a roach, a mouse, and some dried blood. Whatta they do? Slap those bad boys between two tender chicken patties and chow down! That’s what I’m talkin’ ’bout!
“Psst. Psst. Hey, dude. Dude! You wanna score some fresh lob?”
Whereupon, Michelle Obama then went to Duff’s Famous Wings and kicked the crap out of the little slut.
Yukio Hatoyama is angling to take over Don Cherry’s spot on Hockey Night in Canada.
The family wasn’t so upset with Emma about posing provocatively. It was riding to the photo shoot in a car that really tweaked their shoo-fly pie.

PARTY ON DUUUDE! - Watch out Cabo, it's Grannies Gone Wild! Click photo for more>>

Stupid Human Tricks

In his defense, he WAS distracted from that last lap dance.
What would possess one to cram an eel up one’s ass?
It was later revealed that Uwe married the cat to get it onto his health care plan.
Yet another reason the Justin Bieber phenomenon is so puzzling.
When they said, “penis butterfly tattoo” I thought they meant a butterfly tattooed on your penis – silly me.
You were “hungry”? Dude, Jack in the Box is open 24X7 and has bitchin’ ground nose tacos. Get a clue!
Come on, let’s dance! “Everybody was kung fu farting, doodle do doodle do do do.”
Im cummmmmmiiiiiiiiig, RU2?
In his defense, it’s not as if the priest fell asleep molesting an 11-year old boy.
It’s a very understanding husband who believes his wife became pregnant from watching a 3D porn movie.
So the moral of the story is, “think before you ink“.
I wonder if practitioners of vore can be vegan?
Convicted of touching the judge’s butt, the defense argued for a mistrial based on the old Cerebral Palsy defense.
Andrew was charged with having, “an extreme pornographic image which portrayed in an explicit and realistic way a person performing an act of intercourse with a dead animal, namely a squid, which was grossly offensive, disgusting, or of obscene character”. Um, yeah.
Sartania, that horse is probably already out of the barn.

Proof That Unrestricted Capitalism is the Scourge of the Earth

Of all the pet problems I’m aware of, covering up your dog’s ugly asshole is somewhere near the bottom of the list.
I could be wrong, but I’m thinking goat hair leg warmers won’t be hot sellers this Christmas.
If you have big enough boobs to hide, the solution probably isn’t covering them with a glorified handkerchief.
Of course, this explains the new butt aisle at Home Depot.
When Arizona found the Gringo Mask, they knew they’d found the solution for illegal immigration.
Never eat toast without the visage of Jesus on it again.
In a technological triumph, the British have improved the Maxwell Smart-era Cone of Silence technology.