I’m Not Concerned About Weiner’s Wiener

Story Update (NSFW) Now that’s a shock, The Sydney Leathers Porn Video, Weinergate, Is Here (video)

Anthony Weiner in a TowelI’m not concerned about Weiner’s wiener. That’s between him, the wife, and the wienered whose numbers and names he can’t remember. It’s none of my concern and I don’t think it is anyone else’s either.

I’m not a New Yorker, so I don’t really have a dog in this hunt, but icky behavior aside there are some things I would have a hard-on (if you’ll excuse the reference) about if I were.

First, there is his wife. The woman stood by him even after he continued his questionable behavior. Then, after getting his dangly bits caught in the wringer, he hangs her out to dry by saying it was because of their marriage troubles…troubles he caused by sending his junk into the ether.

Weiner Ego über Alles

True, this is also a private matter, but he would no longer have a wiener if he did that to me. However, his treatment of her shows an appalling degree of two-facedness and disregard for others that should concern voters. If he does this to a woman he supposedly loves, I’d guess his treatment of New York voters might be even worse. Weiner’s ego über alles and damn what anyone else needs.

Second, there is the lying he kept secret until he got caught…again. He said his mea culpas once and vowed to stop (which apparently held the same weight he gives his marriage vows). You get one pass at the ring, not infinity and beyond.

HIs second go round was simply politically stupid — the kind of stupid when one is dishonest and massively egotistical by nature and only sorry they got caught. Not cool and all too common among the ruling class.

Sydney Leathers Almost NudeThird, Carlos Danger continues his defiance despite knowing the political Grim Reaper knocks at his door. He drags the spectacle out by continuing his sleazy, politically inept behavior. He is the political equivalent of a kid with chocolate on his face vowing to Mom he has no idea where the Kit Kats went.

He lives in a long, ignominious line of politicians who destroyed their careers and caused real harm to voters. It doesn’t matter that Larry Craig had a wide stance. It matters that Larry Craig was wearing a pair of the most vocal anti-gay wingtips in history while playing footsie with the cop next door. Hypocrisy becomes no one, especially when you are an asscake to begin with.

Bill Clinton’s DNA Tither and Yon

It doesn’t matter that Bill Clinton spread his DNA tither and yon upon any blue dress that bobbed between his knees. It does matter he lied to the public and even more importantly lied to a grand jury. The BJ wasn’t the problem, lying about it under oath was.

As for the self-revealed recipient of Weiner’s eCrotch, there is no slut shaming involved. She and Mr. Crotchshot sexting with one hand on their iPhones doesn’t matter. From the pictures, Weiner may have a foot long to enjoy if you are into those things and that’s between consenting adults.

I don’t buy Sydney Leathers’ youthful indiscretion defense or her knowingly interfering with another couple’s marriage, but she is not the one running for office. She apparently is also not the one who lied about anything. Slutty (or not slutty) behavior is no one’s business but her own.

Politicians (and “normal” people) fall penis-first into vaginas all the time. That is a sexual thing. Lying or proving your hypocrisy is a political thing.

We’d all be better off to recognize the difference.

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Why Do Conservatives Hate America, Er, Sex

UPDATE: GOP Calls For More Anti-Porn Enforcement… As Red States View The Most Porn

Explain why you don’t wear a flag pin on your pajamas, or that the 10 Commandments and the Bill of Rights are entirely separate documents, or why you believe Barack Obama is an American citizen to a rabid conservative and they’re likely to ask, “Why do you hate America?”

My question for them is, “Why do you hate sex?”

After all, conservative Catholics believe the celibate ringleader of the world’s largest pedophile ring when he says sex is for procreation – no fun allowed.

And that whole homo sex thing reads like swing set assembly instructions written by Siberian prison labor outsourced by Bain Capital. “Tab-ski A only fits in Slot-ski B, but never insert Tab C-ski in Slot D-ski” – so confusing.

Just exactly how does gay marriage degrade your own marriage? How does a soldier who doesn’t mention being gay and that you don’t ask about being gay become gay by being asked or telling? Perhaps you wouldn’t be so confused if you didn’t interrupt Larry Craig for an explanation while he is practicing his wide stance at Minneapolis International. I’m given to understand wide stance consummation can be very distracting.

You also like your experts in morality. Just ask David Vitter, a man who visits more prostitutes than Charlie Sheen. When you need advice on strong marriages serial adulterer Newt Gingrich will explain it all…politics made him do it.

When you’re helping that unplanned son or daughter with their biology homework ask just about any other conservative male how lady plumbing works. They really know their stuff. Michele Bachmann can help the kids get extra credit by explaining how HPV vaccine causes cancer.

Why do you feel a swell of, um, “pride” when the little woman whispers, “Oh God, oh God, oh God” while faking an orgasm? Isn’t that using the Lord’s name in vain?

Everyone knows you think sex toys are the work of the devil. So bad, you want to try owners in a court forbidding Sharia law, which ironically really cracks down on the dildo-wielding set. Still, I understand why you’re embarrassed. The 5-year old walking out during the pastor’s visit yelling, “Look Mommy, I found a rocket ship!” can be mortifying – especially when the reverend suggests that dunking you like a witch in the baptismal pool will drive the devil out.

You believe promise rings are an effective form of birth control, that kids will never discover sex unless the Obamunists expose them to sex education in school, and that pregnancy begins with a gleam in Daddy’s debauched eye…but that’s OK, because men are entitled by God to be debauched.

Finally, why are you so obsessed with everyone else’s sex life?

I hear getting laid will help with that.

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Weiner: He’s Not Stupid, He Just Likes Showing His Hot Links

Anthony Weiner was stupid. Anthony Weiner displayed the critical thinking skills of your average tree stump. Anthony Weiner embarrassed himself, his wife, and Congress – at least to the extent you can embarrass a den of thieves and charlatans. Heck, Mom and Daddy Big Weiner probably should’ve thought seriously about aname change to save their son a lifetime of tedious jokes too. But then, the millions of people who dingle their dangly bits in front of any convenient cell phone camera are stupid too.

Go Meat!

GO MEAT - Rep. Anthony Weiner is corn dog bitin' mad at himself over his sexting escapades.

Absent violating the law,what a person does in the privacy of their own photo booth is no concern of mine, or yours either. The famous and powerful may not put their pants on one leg at a time, but they still share some of the same foibles as the rest of the Great Unwashed. For example, extreme pride of your junk and wanting the world to see just how wonderful it truly is.

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