Louie Gohmert Isn’t a Wingnut

Louie Gohmert is Like Forest GumpLouie Gohmert (R-WTFistan) isn’t a wingnut. He is the nut, bolt, and the entire clown car to which they are attached. He is famous for his conspiracy theories, bronze age technical/medical “knowledge”, and his creative lunacy of impeccable quality. In short, he isn’t from around here. He is from a different ZIP code.

Conventional wisdom says there is a civil war over the heart of the Republican Party. That is true, but the armies fighting the war aren’t the same ones everyone thinks.

Democrats have their share of firebrands, but there is usually a small kernel of truth in their ideological positions. Some statistic, some verifiable statement, some basic understanding of gravity may make their position a stretch, but rarely a total negation of the world as we know it.

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Running Away from George Bush Like Usain Bolt with a Rocket Up His Ass

Lindsey Graham, Ass Clown

Oh brother, that’s rich! Suddenly, George W. Bush is no longer the crazy uncle no one wants to talk about. Some key Republicans have stopped running away from him like Usain Bolt with a rocket up his ass to turn and tell the world what a magnificent ass cake the Texas Tugjob really was. With apologies to Sally Field, “They hate him, they really hate him!”

Until now if you brought up George the Lesser in Republican quarters you’d likely get an, “Um, I think I left my lights on,” with a quick exit. Sure they knew he was a carbuncle on the ass of society, but how do you cop to supporting an incompetent boob for eight years and spend the next four blaming all the steaming turds he left on someone else?

It turns out you do it cravenly.

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Mitt Romney is an Enigma…to Himself

Not Understanding Yourself is Depressing

George Bush and Mitt Romney share myriad similarities. Each has two-scoops of hubris in their bowls of Raisin Bran. Both have an uncanny ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Mitt spends as much time with his wingtips in his mouth as George spent with his West Texas shit-kickers in his. For both, a gaffe isn’t so much a mistake as it is a rounded hook used to pull their dumb asses off the world stage. The list goes on. It is very long.

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