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Republican Rep. Joe Walsh – not related to the musician who’s 100 times more intelligent, even accounting for his heavy recreational drug use – thinks President Care Bear was elected because, “he (was) a black man who was articulate, liberal, the whole white guilt (thing).
THE GREATEST GENERATION - Gay soldiers and sailors served during WWII and helped defeat the original Axis of Evil.
DADT has been studied more than cancer, but the data is finally in. A vast majority of the soldiers, sailors, airmen, and marines said, “big whoop”. The Secretary of Defense and many senior commanders have said – as they have for quite some time – “big whoop”. And the public, which the Tea Baggers and Republicans claim gave them an overwhelmingly clear mandate to do whatever they wanted screamed, “big whoop!” The Republican caucus, a minority of military commanders, and most notably Lindsey “Rentboy” Graham and the world’s most petulant child, John McThuselah, have said, “Not so fast. There’ll be no whooping in my military.”
On this issue – come to think of it, on most issues – McCain has been a major pain in the tuchus. He whined because the 17 gazillion studies that have been done since DADT was enacted just weren’t thorough enough, if by thorough you mean agreed with him. He said he’d gladly go along with repeal once the troops on the ground said, “big whoop”. Not unexpectedly, when confronted by the troops’ Wall of Whoop, his response is, “Whaaaaaaaa! I don’t wanna!”
McCain: Formally Admiral Crybaby
How the hell did such a crybaby survive being a POW? “Wahhh! I want more gruel. Whaaaa! I’m hot, and cold, and hot. Whaaaa! You waterboarded me with a neti pot instead of a towel and bucket. What kind of enhanced interrogator are you?!”
Look, almost every military on Earth, except perhaps Pope Ratzzie’s Swiss Guard, accepts gay people. And like the old saw about masturbation (with apologies to Christine O’Donnell), those that think there are none already there are lying. So far as I know, there has never been a military failure attributable to sexual orientation unless you count drumming out qualified and critically needed translators at just the time we needed them most.
Way to fight the War of Error there Boehner Bitches.
There have been no instances of soldiers running out of the shower tent directly into the groping hands of a TSA agent because someone looked at their junk. Even little old ladies from Pasadena waited until someone took x-rays of their desiccated old vajayjays followed by the most embarrassing crotch grab in history to complain.
AAAAAHHHHH! Look, It’s a Dick
Are you saying that accidentally looking at an underwhelming, soap-lathered dick will cause a top notch military to take up arms and resist the legal orders of Congress and the President – who ought to stop pussyfooting (no pun intended) around and issue? If you do, are you not saying, “These colors never run!” but, “These colors will always run from a comrade they never even knew was gay before they were allowed to ask”? You’re not describing a world class military; you’re describing an extremely well-armed gaggle of unpatriotic, cowardly traitors.”
As a veteran, I for one am as insulted as those in uniform should be.
John Boy, Graham Cracker, Boehner Boys, Senate Leader Yertle, stop turning an issue with as much import to the country as your last 27 anti-flag burning amendments into a holy crusade that allows you to stomp your little wingtips and whine whenever the Democrats’ chiropractor accidentally finds a spine.
I believe you’ve been bragging about that massive mandate you got from the public. A public, BTW, that rates you several points below your craven Democratic colleagues and that sorry excuse for a President across the aisle. Quitcher bitchin’ and do as the vast majority of voters have commanded.
Your behavior is just so, um, gay (apologies to the LGBT community for the insult).
DON'T ASK, DON'T HUG - "I tell you, I did not hug that man, Jim Cramer! But, I'm game if he is."
First, it was the terrorist fist bump between the POTUS and FLOTUS. Then came that scandalous bow to the Saudi King. Now, we have the bro hug between Rahm Emanuel and Obama. Could these complaints GET any dumber? It’s like a freakin’ dispute over flag pins … on steroids.
CNBC goob, Larry “Loud Suit” Kudlow, has found it inexcusable that the two shared a hug when Emanuel left the White House. His complaint was that the hug was somehow unpresidential – unlike the double-cheeked smooches every other potentate in the world unloads onto a shocked worldwide audience.
NEWS FLASH! - Bush and McCain embolden al Queda to launch attacks.
Was it as unpresidential as the time the Pretzel Choker-in-Chief locked himself in a room during a trip to China and then mugged it up for the cameras? Or, how about the time he gave the unwanted back rub to Angela Merkel or carried on discussions with his willing dupe, Tony Blair, while open-mouthed chomping a dinner roll in a blizzard of French bread crumbs? Bush had the manners of a cowboy – a cowboy born in a barn in a cradle of horse apples at that. I heard rumors he farted at state dinners and followed up with the old, “the one who smelled it, dealt it” gambit too.
Remember folks, you heard it here first.
Now I know that Big Screaming Heads like Kudlow aren’t subject to the same stringent rules under which Presidents labor. If they were, the markets would collapse every time they screamed their inane “financial” analysis over top of every guest the crapweasels host.
Hey, wait a minute! They did collapse! KUDLOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!
As long as we’re going with the insulting stupid, what about Kudlow’s clothes? Bravo needs to reprise an episode of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy to get the sartorially challenged asscake some help. Those horizontal striped ties go so well with his Mafioso striped suits. He looks like a damn TV test pattern.
Have you seen him in HD? It’s a truly frightening experience in the same way IMAX theatres make people bilious.
Kudlow, it’s time for you to learn to luv the hug. It’s time for you to troop over and visit that other offensive CNBC jackwad, Jim Cramer.
Here’s my boffo idea for ending each segment. When Cramer stops his crack-induced diatribes, and after he’s shut off the bull grunts, bear growls, cowbells, and explosions – hug him. Just a little. Maybe a hug combined with a manly handshake or perhaps an NFL-style butt grab. Then, glory in it. Feel the freedom? Feel the tender moment of true friendship? It’s OK even if you feel a little wood – a twig really, nothing ostentatious that would clash with your suit.
If you try it just once, I know you’ll like it.
Then again, humanity isn’t your game, is it?
FARHRENHEIT UNDER 18 – A little Ray Bradbury wi-fi, hi-fi, sci-fi. 
Nerd Girl Porn and Other Sexy Things
The Free Market Uber Alles
Stuff That Doesn’t Fit Anywhere Else
SARAH SAY IT AIN'T SO - Sarah, be careful about what you say. One day you're a hot MILF and the next day you turn into Dr. Laura. Click photo for more >>
)Gangsta Fails
Emo Robots
Sushi Rots Your Brain
NOT KNOWING YOUR VAGINA FROM A HOLE IN YOUR HEAD - A perfect demonstration of what happens when you don't believe in funding schools.
What’s the Difference Between Mainstream Republican Leaders and Tea Party Extremists?
Note: Turnabout is fair play, so enjoy this companion post to You Know You Might Be a Liberal If… And moderates, your turn will come soon too.
You know you might be a tea partier if you:
DAMN MUSLIMS - You'd think that building a mosque down the street from Ground Zero is worse than flying planes into the World Trade Center to begin with.
Think Glenn Beck is, “so down to Earth.”
