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Where Were These Guys When the War Started?

The Amateur Videographer

WHERE WERE THEY WHEN THE WAR STARTED? - American politicos apparently don't remember where they were when the war in Afghanistan started. All of the complainers now forget they did nothing to keep us out of this mess from the beginning. The only person who remembers where he was then is Osama Bin Laden - holed up in a Pakistani cave since the beginning.

It’s common to ask people where they were when John F. Kennedy was shot. Apparently, some political leaders should be asked, “Where where you when the Afghan war started?”

After 9 years of death, destruction, and national treasure pissed away, politicians like Dick Lugar (R-Dumbassholia), Carl Levin (D-WTFistan), John Kerry (D-Flapjackistan), and Newt Gingrich (D, R, ?-Mars) are of the opinion that the war in Afghanistanis not going to end well“.

Really now. No kidding? Where the f*ck were you guys when the thing started? It was apparent then, and it’s equally apparent now, that it won’t end well and you did as little to stop, or even question it, as your average tree stump.

Clues for the Clueless
What was your clue? Was it when we started with assurances of the evils of nation-building and then got to work building a nation? How about when you told us it was going to be a cake walk over a bunch of 4th century illiterate goatherds? Was it when George the Incompetent “brought ’em on” and then decided finding Bin Laden wasn’t so important after all? How about when Osama Bin Lunkhead taunted you from a cave – a cave, BTW, that wasn’t even in Af-frickin-ghanistan!?

You’re now delivering the absolutely shocking news that the mission is ill-defined and poorly carried out? No sh*t you bunch of Nostradumbasses!

Bush’s mission definition was… “to win”. However, it might have worked better had he told us what winning looked like, how to do it, or how to pay for it. Was it the “non-nation building strategy”, followed by the “surge strategy”, followed by the “drawdown strategy”, followed by the “let’s just become the de facto Afghan government because that goatskin cap-wearing lunatic Karzai couldn’t govern his way of a wet falafel bag strategy”?

Newt, you come in for special scorn. In December, before the rest of the tarnish rubbed of The Messiah’s™ crown, you were on board. Back then, the Carebear-in-Chief had political courage. “If you are a liberal Democrat who won the nomination with the support of the anti-war left, this had to be one of the most difficult decisions he’ll ever make,” you said.

Now, not so much. Who are you, the evil doppelganger for John “I Never Met a Position I Couldn’t Change” McThusela? Perhaps you’re the, “I was for it until I was against it” version of John Kerry? Oh, and word for the unwise, video, audio, and even good old-fashioned newspapers capture crap like that with the sole purpose of throwing it back in your face when you’re for something before you were against it.

Here’s a towel to wipe it off your pork-chop stuffed face.

And finally, Mr. President, where the hell have YOU been?

You’ve followed your predecessor’s slug track for two years now. A predecessor whose policies you described as “failed”. What made them “failed” when he tried them, but “politically courageous” when you carry them out? We still don’t have a clear mission other than, “We gotta go forward because going back is too hard and quiting might hurt someone’s bipartisan feelings. It’s just not my style to rock the boat.”

Plus, we still don’t know what “victory” looks like. However, I’m guessing most Americans don’t see indefinitely investing $10 billion a year on the army of a country with a $14 billion annual GDP that can’t protect themselves, much less the populace,  as “a win”. Most Americans would be happy with far cheaper extended unemployment benefits instead.

Obama: No Profile in Courage
The only “political courage” you’ve shown on this issue was to fire that 4-star Numbskull McChrystal for being too stupid to keep his yap shut in front of a reporter. Personally, if I’d been him I would’ve cut out the middle man and just come to the White House to call you a bumbling eunuch to your face.

Gentlemen (and all the rest of the political cowards who didn’t lift a finger to prevent this mess), you can prefer not to remember where you were back in the day. I don’t blame you, I’d want to hide out in The Big Dick’s™ secret undisclosed location to dodge the glare of what incredible asshats you’ve been too.

But you can’t. Just ask The Big Dick™.  His support and conviction on the rightness of the war has been as unwavering as his now-missing pulse. Do the honorable thing. Take responsibility for your actions, just like Dick. He’s learned to own his colossal incompetence, you should take ownership of yours too.

That’s what the rest of us call “political courage”.

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