DOWN WITH TAXES! UP WITH SPENDING! - No one likes to pay taxes, but we all must. There is no free lunch, there's a tax on it.

There’s an old saying that goes, “nothing is inevitable except death and taxes.” To be more correct, it should probably go, “nothing is inevitable except death, taxes, and bitching endlessly about  them”.

Despite Joe Biden’s notion that paying taxes is “patriotic”, I don’t personally know anyone who wants to pay them – left, right, patriotic, unpatriotic, rich or poor. Of course, I don’t know many people who want to die either so wishing something were true doesn’t change much.

To hear some tell it, taxes used to be high because of phantom welfare queens cruising the streets of the inner city in gold-plated Cadillacs filled to the roof with food stamps and kids. End the waste and fraud was the clarion cry of tax complainers back then.

At the close of the Cold War taxpayers expected a huge peace dividend based on a token military in which waste and fraud were a thing of the past.  How’d the aircraft carriers USS Ronald Reagan and George Bush work out for you?

Less in, More Out? Wassup With That?
Then came the notion that cutting taxes – i.e. money coming in – was the best way to make more money going out – about as counter-intuitive notion as up is down and down is up.

Today, tax protesters just bitch that government should be a hollow shell from which the only service it provides is a shoe-string national defense apparently funded without taxes. They do this after driving on a federally-funded freeways to attend Town Screed Hall meetings in public schools built at least in part by Federal tax dollars and protected by tax-funded police who will dutifully kick anyone out who dares speak up against the mob.

By their nature, taxes are unfair. Many people jump aboard the tax-the-rich bandwagon provided they aren’t classified rich and the money goes to something they want. Others say tax the poor more, oblivious to the fact that when one has no money you can’t collect much tax.

Besides, isn’t giving the poor more in refunds than they paid in taxes sort of trickle up economics? Doesn’t the theory hold true that if rich people’s money floats all yachts, doesn’t poor people’s money lift all leaky rowboats?

Of all the contentious debates in this country, taxation is perhaps the most disingenuous. Everyone rails that tax cuts solve all unless the proposed cuts are something you like or benefit from. Even if health care had never passed, the Bush tax cuts were repealed, and spending was cut to equal the national budget of Paraguay, we’d still be hard pressed to pay the debt.

Taxation With Representation
US taxes are about average compared to other industrialized nations. The difference is that electorates in those countries have a clearer understanding of what they want government to do and pony up the money to pay for it with less grumbling. In return, they get actual services they want at somewhat reasonable costs. In this country we look at the tax and spend dilemma through glasses provided by whatever advocacy group is best-funded and yells the loudest without much thought to whether we need it or what it costs – Exhibit A, California.

The next time you call a talk radio show, wave your “taxation without representation” sign at the door of your elected representative, or drive on an Interstate highway, remember that taxes are necessary evils levied for the common good. Remember that there isn’t a single paycheck in this country that is untouched by government spending. Without taxes, there is no defense of the nation. There is no TSA to make you remove your shoes because you’re afraid of an amateur videographer in a Pakistani cave. Your kids will have no school. The ambulance won’t take you to a hospital for treatment you can’t get because you lack insurance. You’ll work in a bakery making $12 a loaf bread because you don’t subsidize wheat farmers flooded off their farms by the spring thaw followed by a drought caused by global warming you deny.

Trying to find cheaper and better ways of doing things is great, but be realistic about what that means. Complaining does no one any good. There are no free lunches.

That’s because there’s tax on the meal.

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IT'S HOWDY DOODY TIME - Despite his successful early career, Howdy fell on hard times and ended up living on the streets. More>>

Book ‘Em Danno

• In the middle of the gun fight, Fat Murphy pulled his dildo and fired!
• When Jimmy saw the story on the news he figured it was only a matter of time.
• Jorge may have been serving 13 life sentences for kidnapping and armed robbery, but he wasn’t a perv.
• Put down the doughnut and step away from the car!
• Police only have one suspect in the crime, a Delaware resident, Mr. Joe Biden.
• Even though he was 38, Abel still believed in the Easter Bunny.
• Slap my ass! Slap my ass!
• I just KNEW there was a secret to why they always land on their feet.
• Ladies and gentlemen, please turn off all portable electronic devices until we’ve reached our cruising altitude at the end of the street.
• Some people considered Stephen to be a little slow at learning.
• “Perverting the course of justice” seems like the right charge to me.
• Have a heart. Gilligan just wanted the Skipper and Mary Anne to know he finally made it off the island.
• Lynn was well-known as a strict disciplinarian.
• After an initial experiment using Styrofoam peanuts, the good citizens of Somerville Road struck on just the right protective measures.
• Kurt’s fetish started after Marge Simpson appeared in Playboy.
• Officials charged David B. Hanna after discovering he didn’t have a carrying permit for small arms.

Robots, Robots, and More Robots

• She’s the best girlfriend a young, virginal nerd could ever have.
• Do androids really dream of electric sheep?

The Japanese Are the Super Race

• In all fairness, she didn’t notice the woman because she was texting, applying makeup, and reading War and Peace in the original Russian at the time.

Imponderables

• After questioning, police confirmed that Mr. Deo was not impersonating Mr. Dios and there would be no resurrection forthcoming.
• Yeah, who didn’t see this coming – Snookie giving up the nookie.
• In the southern hemisphere, they turn counterclockwise.
• Wow! That’s some sexy shit!
• Rocky XXI – Pumpin’ the Cheese.
• With the state of the economy being what it is, it’s was a real accomplishment to land such a prestigious part-time job.
• Verizon has the nation’s largest 3-Tree network.
• He likes you, he really likes you!
• Comcast may be buying NBC, but they aren’t getting a whole lot for their money.
• What it looks like in Marilyn Manson’s backyard.
• The Democrats have a donkey, the Republicans have an elephant, and the teabaggers have…
• It was like a religious civil war, Westboro vs. Eastboro.
• One out of a gazillion doctors recommends smoking to treat Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s disease.
• As soon as the CEO discovered the problem, he gave himself a $6 billion bonus and left by private jet for his estate in France confident his was a job well done.
• They can tell with certainty that gay marriage is illegal, but romance? This they can’t figure out?
• The job pays well, but it lacks the potential for career growth.
• Sure, it hurt like hell, but he vowed to play through the pain.
• When they changed their name, they briefly considered calling it Modern Moose Knuckle.
• SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY!  ACTION, ACTION, ACTION! It’s a battle royale, an etymological grudge match! McThusela vs. Snookie!
• The crew over at Punked chortled madly when they played the prank on Rachel Ray.
• Naked scanning was OK, but the anal cavity search was a bit too intrusive.
• Awful offal ready to stuff again.
• It was bad, but there were still lower levels of mercury than in Dasani.
• Humans can be proud of their mastery of technology.
• It could’ve been worse. It could’ve been his tongue.
• The little prick has a little dick. Whutchu talkin’ ’bout Willis?
• Guano-a-go-go! Next on Oprah!
• Devoted WM fan, 48, looking for dominating Ticketmaster with a penchant for tailgating and amateur surgery.
• Hey, he was just heading home for a chicken dinner and sex.
• And the top ridiculous thing people believe…George W. Bush was a great President!
• EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT! Bouncing Boobs Banned in Brisbane!
• Gye’s attempt to beat the high cost of a Bluetooth headset suddenly went awry.
• Political analysts were fairly sure Laiacona had weathered worse sex charges against him during the campaign.
• That’s some good shit man! Some really good shit!
• Headline: McKenna Faces Chuck Frankenstein in Tough Runoff Election.
• Announcing OllieAir Flight C-123 with service to Tehran, Washington, and Managua! This is a crowded flight, so make sure your small arms are stowed safely in the overhead bins or under the seat in front of you.

The Triumph of the Free Market

• The phone battle is heating up between Apple and Google.
• Yeah, we got an app for that. 
• Remember, apply them just before they put you in the clink for extra fun!
• Required equipment for Tiger Woods’ caddy.
• It’s just the app for when your reception is poor.
• Don’t be fooled by the gangsta style. Tupac wouldn’t be caught dead in a pair of these ugly ass things.
• The show was enough to give the techno-goobs a huge orgasm.
• Sometimes I’m so ashamed of American culture.
• All that stuff is really in there? No wonder it smells like ass.
• Does the world really need another kitschy USB drive?
• Has anyone else picked up on the smell of roast meat?

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