Tag Archives: Islam

Dear Marty, The First Amendment is Not Optional


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah
Not a Fixer-Upper

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE? - A Sharia-like movement is afoot to deprive Muslims of everything from the right to build religious centers to their First Amendment protections. Burning Korans is not the answer to violent Muslim extremism.

The Anti-Mosque That Ain’t a Mosque crowd seems to be going all Sharia on America’s ass. You’d think the possibility – not the certainty mind you – of building a Muslim community center amongst the strip clubs and bars of Manhattan is a worse offense than knocking the WTC down to begin with.

We have idiots closing community centers in Kentucky ostensibly for lack of parking because according to the property owner, Muslims can’t be trusted to adhere to no parking signs. Florida’s Dove World Outreach Center, a violation of truth in advertising laws if there ever was one, is reaching out to Muslims by burning Korans. Now, New Republic editor-in-chief Marty Peretz says Muslims are unworthy of First Amendment protection, presumably regardless of whether they are citizens or not.

Marty the Magnificent Sez…
Says Marty the Magnificent, “…frankly, Muslim life is cheap, most notably to Muslims. And among those Muslims led by the Imam Rauf there is hardly one who has raised a fuss about the routine and random bloodshed that defines their brotherhood. So, yes, I wonder whether I need honor these people and pretend that they are worthy of the privileges of the First Amendment which I have in my gut the sense that they will abuse.”

Gee Marty, my gut – hell, every fiber of my being – tells me you would abuse First Amendment protections too. No, wait! You already have by suggesting the First Amendment is an option like the automatic transmission on your Ford Crown Vic. The same goes for your toxic brethren like the book burning “Doves” and the spreading community of knotheads elsewhere around the country.

Marty, can you not see the irony of exercising your First Amendment rights by saying someone else should be deprived of theirs? Screeching Doves, can you not see the same by the light of your Constitutional bonfire?

Whether Muslims “raise a fuss” is their call, not yours. To speak or not to speak are both protected rights. Besides, my gut also tells me that condemning their “brotherhood” wouldn’t make one iota of difference in your opinion.

The Lonesome Doves and Tim McVey
And Lonesome Doves, would you be burning Bibles if an inbred clan of Timothy McVey wannabes had rammed the WTC? I’m an atheist and I’d be quite happy if someone burned all the holy books, regardless of whatever holier than thou sect dreamt them up.

But wait! No, I wouldn’t! I believe in the First Amendment.

It isn’t optional because I despise you and what you’re saying. It isn’t optional because some lunkhead’s book isn’t as holy as you believe yours is. It isn’t optional because your gut tells you they don’t value human life. It isn’t optional because they are Muslim, Baptist, or Druid nor because some of their members were bat shit crazy and wanted to kill people for things like, gee, I dunno, disrespecting the Koran (see David Petraeus). In this country, people can say what they want and worship or not worship as they see fit – despite cockamamie faux “wars on Christmas” or people being gay in the privacy of their own homes or carbuncles on the ass of humanity who think their shit is infinitely less odoriferous than others are.

THE FIRST AMENDMENT IS NOT OPTIONAL!

…and the day it becomes so is the day we lose the privilege of calling ourselves American.

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The Non-Ground Zero Non-Mosque Mosqueteers


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah
Exploding Head

EXPLODING HEAD - All this arguing by a bunch of hot heads is getting the country nowhere.

OK people, let’s calm down! Let’s just stop all this mosqlitizing and use a little common sense for a moment, shall we? Don’t make me turn this country around.

At its heart, the Non-Ground Zero Non-Mosque Mosque™  is a simple zoning application gone awry. If the gutted shell of that ex-Burlington Coat Factory sat almost anywhere else on Earth, the NYC Planning Department would be looking at how much traffic the place would generate and how many toilets to require per person. Instead, it’s caught between creating an international incident and/or sparking Civil War II.

What ever happened to the idea that governmental decision-making should be forced down to the local level? I mean come on, it doesn’t get any more local than a planning department.

There are literally dozens of places this kerfuffle could’ve been avoided, but as usual, many people were busy helping demagogues turn themselves into demigods instead of simply minding their own business.

Encouraging the Bullies
It didn’t take a brain surgeon to figure out that building anything remotely connected to Islam was going to be an uphill battle in today’s America. Of course, the Muslims could’ve simply opted to put their center somewhere else, but they’re under no obligation to voluntarily abandon their Constitutional rights. Although they shouldn’t be surprised at the blowback either. And quite frankly, giving in once they started down this road would’ve been a mistake anyway. There is no better way to encourage bullies than to back down from them when threatened.

As for the anti Mosqueteers, they seem to have bought into this newfangled delusion that the Constitution is up for a vote whenever you don’t like something.  To hear them tell it, if Muslims want to erect a religious venue the Constitution cannot be allowed to stand. However, if the Baptists want to nail the 10 Commandments to every flat surface in the Republic, it’s a Constitutional right. I’m not sure if this is a terminal case of disengenuosity or a complete inability to recognize irony when it bites them on the ass.

Ground Zero used to be two gleaming towers of steel. A brace of buck-ass krazy kamikazes turned it into a smoking hole in the ground. Many people (not Christians or Muslims or Jews or Atheists, or Druids… just plain folks) died. It was a horrific thing, especially if you had friends or family there or were just coming out or the subway as the towers fell.

When Lunatics Run Amok
But as bad as it was, bad things happen when lunatics run amok. As much as Commander Mission Accomplished would’ve like you to believe there is a “war” we can “win”, it just ain’t so. The best we can do it mitigate the problem by taking reasonable counter measures – duct tape, roll-plastic, and MRIs for airline passengers need not apply.

When the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, Americans were pissed. They looked upon the wreckage-choked harbor as a hallowed place where the nation could focus in an attempt to never let such a tragedy happen again. Today, tourists from across the globe, including a hefty number of Japanese, come to visit the place with cameras in tow and leis on display. The place is no less hallowed because of the gauche tourists and would be no less hallowed if a Shinto shrine went up.

In essence, both places are geographic spots on a map. Soil is soil. They are special because we made them special. They are hallowed because we all agreed they are hallowed. The point is that when someone from the opposite side of the policitical or religious spectrum agrees with you, shut up and stop arguing with them. You’re on the same side!

If not, we’re no better than those krazy kamikazis. If there is a war to be won or lost, it will be decided over the idea that crazies can knock down some expensive real estate and we will willingly make ourselves more like them.

After all, that was exactly their intent.

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If He Walks Like a Muslim and Talks Like a Muslim…


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah

HEATHEN! – I’m not saying he’s a Muslim, but he sure looks to be a born one to me.

There’s nothing surprising about recent poll numbers indicating  more people are “confused” about The Messiah’s™ true religion than ever before. They aren’t confused. Somewhere in that lump of random matter that passes for their brains they know the truth. They’re just being aggressively ignorant. They’re willingly allowing themselves to become the peas in a big chaos theory shell game.

The shills are the usual suspects on these types of things. Orly Taitz still draws a crowd, even after the Supremes slapped her down. The Grizzly Whisperer™ still has a big, fact-challenged following. Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton are always on the scene when something “ethnic” needs to be opined upon – even if it’s not about their ethnic group. But the gold standard in national matters of religion are the Grahams – first, daddy Billy and now, son Franklin.

Running Like Ecclesiastical Chickens
For my money, Frank doesn’t have nearly the panache of the old man. I can remember when Billy laid hands on people. By God, they’d walk, hell, run like ecclesiastical chickens with their heads cut off. Ernest Angley couldn’t hold a candle to them, even with the help of his “miracle healing cloth”, free with every $19.99 donation. But what Frank lacks in genetic charlatanism he more than makes up for with the greasy rhetorical skills of a Newt Gingrich or any random member of the Fox & Friends staff.

When CNN’s John King asked about Obama’s Christian bona fides, Frank didn’t bat an eye while calling Obama a part-time Christian, but true born Muslim.

“The seed is passed through the father,” Frank said. “He was born a Muslim. His father was a Muslim; the seed of Muslim is passed through the father like the seed of Judaism is passed through the mother…his father gave him an Islamic name.”

Case closed, except for that little conversion loophole.

“But the confusion is because his father is a Muslim; he was born a Muslim. The Islamic world sees the president as one of theirs. That’s why Qadhafi calls him his son. They see him as a Muslim,” he said. “But, of course, the president says he is a Christian, and we just have to accept it as that, ” he added skeptically.

“We just have to accept it as that.” Accepting as in the way we file lawsuits to make him repeatedly produce birth certificates or prove he doesn’t want to throw all of his detractors in FEMA-run concentration camps.

Latching Onto the Christian Fakir
See, Frank and his ilk know that truth isn’t really important if you want to control the conversation. As long as you mix that smidge of doubt with a spoonful of sugary Kool Aid mix, people will want to believe. That’s why millions of otherwise sane people shower this dunderdick with donations and prayer requests. They have troubles, real troubles, so they’ll latch onto anything that puts their minds at rest – even if he is some sort of Christian fakir.

“Them danged Mooslums want to build one of them heathen moss-quet things up at Ground Zero. That just chaps me raw,” they might say. “I wish I knew who was boin’ all this so I could keep and eye on ‘em”

And there, on the TV machine, is Franklin Graham. He’s possessed of a golden, silken tongue and he’s telling Mabel and Irv that the culprit is that damn half-breed Muslim/faux Christian President. “Far be it from me to say he’s a heathen,” he implies. “He SAYS he’s a Christian so we’ll just have to take his word, but (in a tiny voice) you know those Muslims lie a lot”.

Ignorance of this type has been around since the dawn of man – whether you believe that happened 400,000 years ago or 6,000 years ago. And shit-slingers like the Grahams have been around just as long, serving up streaming heaps of the best crap people want to believe.

So don’t be surprised at events like this. They will happen as long as there are people who want to volunteer as idiots and marginally smarter people who want to enable them.

And the worst part is the rubes refuse to see that shit for shinola is a lose/lose bet.

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OMG, They Want to Kill Kenny!


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah
Warning: Asshats Ahead

WARNING: ASSCAKES AHEAD - They should consider themselves lucky that South Park didn't depict Mohammed as Mr. Hanky in drag instead of a bear.

Update“Revolution Muslim” Site’s Creator is Jewish

Update May 20 is ‘Everybody Draw Mohammed Day’

There are many things in the world worth fighting for – some even worth dying for – but a cartoon featuring a talking turd isn’t one of them. This may come as a great shock to some, but the cartoon South Park quite often traffics in low-brow humor that aims to be offensive. Apparently, New York-based Revolution Muslim group thinks this is a capital offense.

The show’s creators, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, tweaked the Revolting Muslims by depicting the prophet Muhammad as a bear. I’m sure only because the idea of depicting Mr. Hanky wearing a turban didn’t occur to them first.

After Muslim extremists killed Dutch filmmaker Theo Van Gogh in 2004, it became apparent that Islam doesn’t suffer cartoons slights lightly. Just ask author Salman Rushdie who lived in hiding for years after being slapped with a fatwa after “insulting” Big Mo.

But the Revoluters are a kinder, gentler breed of religious nutbag. They went to great pains to tell Cartman and Co. they weren’t REALLY going all jihad on their cartoon asses.

“This is not a threat, but a warning,” a group spokeszealot said. “Revolution Muslim only wants those offended to be able to voice their opposition by letters to the show’s creators.”  Word to Mr. Zealot: This is hardly an effective method since ParkSto probably already get as many irate letters each week as there are grains of sand in a Saudi Prince’s compound.

I’m a bit leery of the “warning” too. It was posted next to a picture of the martyred-for-his-art Van Gogh. But maybe that’s just a cultural misunderstanding between a society that’s sane enough not to put out hits on cartoonists and a society with an itchy fatwa finiger.

Best Friends Forever

Can't we all just have a great big hug?

Here’s the thing, worshipers of Big Mo. There’s a switch on your television that says OFF. I often invite my over-active Christian friends to use it when their bluster gets the better of them. Flip the switch, and through the wonders of modern technology the offending cartoon bear will disappear (Poof, like a Genie in a lamp!) and none of us will be the wiser – except perhaps Mohammad – and we’ll take that up with him personally if it turns out he has no appreciation for cursing and cheap sight gags.

Or you could just go full-on Taliban and toss the TV altogether. It’s rumored that it causes women to dress provocatively and we all know what that means. Boobquakes!

Yes, I can see where insulting your prophet is a bad thing. I can see where insulting Jesus is bad too. But so is insulting atheists, Wiccans, and whatever other religious sub-groups you can potentially offend. Insults are the way of the world. They’re what makes the world go ’round. They’re what gives the world religious crusades and poorly written books about DaVinci and some lame “code” he was always going on about.

Many say Islam is a religion of peace, if by peace we mean not going around threatening to kill over cartoon prophets in bears’ clothing. Have some willpower andself-reststaint.  Staying cool in the face of the insult is a winner, not a loser.

If you want to complain, be my guest, I’ll even help you draft a petition if that’ll help. After all, you already scared Comedy Central into censoring the episode – which is sound thinking if they want to be around to watch endless reruns of Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire.

I have to believe that prophets aren’t so weak they require the help of asscakes who want to kill at the drop of an artist’s pen. I’m an atheist and even I can see that.

Sigh…

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Bryan Fischer: Backward Christian Soldier


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah
The Knights of Hate

BACKWARD CHRISTIAN SOLDIERS - The American Family Association wants to ship Muslims back from whence they came because they're all evil killers. Perhaps they should read up on the Christian Crusades of the Middle Ages. Wasn't that supposed to have been the final solution for those pesky, blaspheming infidels?

The American Family Association’s Director of Issues Analysis, Bryan Fischer, has suggested that Muslims are such pariahs in his America we should “graciously assist” them right out of the country. There is so much wrong with his public statements it’s hard to tell where to start, but let me try by using his own words, with slight modifications in parentheses, to demonstrate the “logic” of his argument.

“The most compassionate thing we can do for Muslims (Christians) who have already immigrated here is to help repatriate them back to Muslim (Christian) countries, where they can live in a culture (theocracy) which shares their values, a place where they can once again be at home, surrounded by people who cherish their deeply held ideals. Why force them to chafe against the freedom, liberty, and civil rights (that our Constitution guarantees and which) we cherish in the West?”

“Muslims (Christians) continue to have as their objective the Islamization (Christianization) of the entire world, including the U.S., and are taught by their god to use force (force, hate, and discrimination) where necessary to accomplish the goal. The current objective of Muslim (Christian) activists is to create a brand new Islamic (Christian) state – meaning a state like New Jersey or Montana – out of existing jurisdictions and establish a virtual Islamic (Christian) homeland in our midst.”

“Many Muslims (Christians) are on our shores on student visas and as such have not yet become citizens. We must politely decline their request for naturalization becoming an American citizen is a privilege, not a right and use the money we would otherwise spend on their welfare, their education, their medical care, and their incarceration to graciously assist them in returning to their countries of origin.”

“Those who are willing to convert to Christianity (Islam, Judaism, Atheism, or any other belief system) and renounce Islam, Allah, Mohamed (Jesus and the apostles) and the Koran (Bible) may be welcomed, for they can become not just good Christians (citizens) but true Americans.”

There you have it Mr. Fischer, a good long look in the warped mirror you call Christianity in (almost) your own words. I can’t believe any Christian worth their salt would endorse your odious hatred, much less call to enact it – but sadly, I know some will.

I’m an Atheist today at least partially because of righteous, intolerant, asscakes like you. However, I was raised a Christian and believe that all religions, Islam included, have a right to exist in this country lest we become a stinking pit of sectarian servitude like Afghanistan, Iran, or any number of other equally intolerant, brutal, and religiously-motivated excuses for governance. Even though I’m an Atheist, I know this as a former Christian and friend of moderate Christians everywhere:

When you and your ilk show up at St. Peter’s gate, God is going to be one pissed off deity and I hear from the Bible he doesn’t suffer fools like you gladly.

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