FOLLOW THE BOUNCING LOGOS - Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of the Missile Defense Agency? According to Frank Gaffney of the right-wing Center for Security Policy, something "nefarious is afoot".

Some people see a conspiracy behind every rock, others think the rock is the conspiracy and beat themselves stupid with it. It’s for this select group that the Missile Defense Agency’s new logo is cause for wingnuttery.

Some on the right are hot and bothered because the new logo looks too much like the Nation of Islam flag.

Or, the Pepsi logo.

Or, the Obama campaign logo.

Or, the Iranian Space Agency logo.

That people see nutty things in logos isn’t surprising, or even new. For years, trembling-kneed religious zealots claimed Proctor & Gamble’s old moon and stars logo was a satanic symbol proving Ivory soap was 99.9% pure evil.

I reckon that when a quarter moon aligns perfectly with Venus in eleventy-billion years, these batshits will complain the sky is a commie plot based on the old Soviet moon-shaped sickle and shining star hanging in the red heavens.

Wait! Hanging in the heavens? It must be a sign! The commies have killed God – and possibly Kenny too – and heaven is messed up! The righteous moon and star haters have disappeared from St. Peters’s maitre’d book! And, it was damned hard to get a reservation too! Pat Robertson will undoubtedly claim the destruction of heaven was all brought on by abolishing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.

Damn homos!

It’s tempting for those with functioning brains to shrug and tell themselves, “it’s only a gaggle of paranoid goobs”, but claims of a new assault on America will surely come. In fact, I see one coming right now!

”Shhh. You heard it here first…” The tea partiers have ironclad proof the moon and stars on Celestial Seasonings tea indicate the tea is overly taxed and laced with LSD made by LuciferCo.

For their sake, I hope it’s true. It’s about as close to reality as these nimrods will ever come.

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