The Parable of Inyourfacebook

Bursting the Tech Bubble

Everything new is old again. Remember when that joint venture between Al Gore, DARPA, and the porn industry built the Internets? All thoseĀ  Ted Stevens Memorial Tubes, Chutes, and Trucks made it look all shiny and new. It was a new frontier where everything would be free and unsullied by the clutches of the corporatists. But as corporatists often do, they got into it anyway.

They threw truckloads of simoleons at anything with a phone modem and an e at the beginning of its name and found that making money from something free isn’t quite as easy as it might first appear. The steam from their ears became trapped within their ostentatiously drab Silicon Valley low-rises and formed a bubble. It was a bubble the likes of which no one had ever seen before. An eBubble.

At first, they were all so proud of their little bubble. It was brilliant and bright and mostly paid for with someone else’s money – as money-making schemes generally are. Nerds became the new kings, and venture capitalists their new Chancellors of the Exchequers. No one believed that something so beautiful wouldn’t just go on forever. They hired Kate Winslet and celebrated with her on the bow of a CGI Titanic shouting, “OUR SHIT DON’T STINK! SUCK IT WORLD!”

POP!

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