Randomness: Sex Terms for Dummies

Michele Bachmann may have dropped out but Rick “Governor Goodhair” Perry is still inexplicably hanging on in the GOP race. And, Mitt the Mormon keeps mouthing weak-assed religious platitudes to anyone goofy enough to listen to him. However, he is careful about how loudly he delivers them lest someone pick up the cult meme again.

Newt GingGrinch has gone back to being an evil-tempered heathen because, really, who ever believed his new found piousness anyway? Ron Paul never was on the God train because he’s too busy just being  a damn weird Keebler Elf. And that other Mormon guy, what’s is name? Hunter? Huntmeister? Oh yeah, Jon “Missing an H” Huntsman is too far away from the microphone for anyone to hear what he’s saying.

Whatever happens to these goobs, Rick Santorum is still leading the Change of the Christian Brigade.  No one would describe Rick as sex-savvy, so he’ll need some help talking to the non-Fundy voters out there. Herewith: Sex Terms for Dummies.

51 Words for Vagina

51 Words for Penis

51 Words for Anal Sex (A Santorum Favorite)

 

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Newt “I Got My Ass Kicked Over That Name A Lot When I Was a Kid” Gingrich

Poll watchers are writing the obituary for Newt “I Got My Ass Kicked Over That Name A Lot When I Was a Kid” Gingrich. Pundits are screaming at each other with full-throated vigor and the public stands agog that none of the punditocrisy saw this coming.

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Time for Cain to Take a Break and Eat a Slice

OH COME ON! – Herman Cain has his pepperoni in the wringer and is twisting every which way but loose. Herman, sit down, relax, and have a slice.

The Pizza Man™ has his pepperoni caught in the wringer again. Last time it was multiple allegations of sexual harassment, this time it’s a woman claiming a 13-year affair.

Allegations like this happen as often as Silvio Berlusconi changes 17-year old mistresses and these are no different. For good or bad, it’s the cost of doing business in an overcharged, toxic, and hyper-rancorous political environment.

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