Tag Archives: GOP

Randomness: Bad Idea Style


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah


That God Guy Is Everywhere

Naughty Bits

Commercialism on the March

Square Pegs in Round Holes

Japanery

The Borg Await You With Open Pincers

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The Lazy Black Dog Jumped Over the Fat White Cracker


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah
Bad Egg

RACISM IS LIKE A BAD EGG - If you insist on saying racist crap, don't complain when someone calls you a racist. Own your crapitude.

Given the plethora of political pinheads roaming the streets and licking babies this year, it’s a several times daily thing when one says or does something incredibly stupid. When you speechify for a living things like that will happen, but this is an amazingly talented bunch when it comes to crapping in their own rhetorical mess kits.

When something goes awry, the tried and true tactic is for the candidate – or some unlucky bastard of a surrogate – to come out and explain why what they said isn’t really what they said, even though they said it in front of several thousand people, while being broadcast on 144 channels around the globe, and Jon Stewart is playing it unedited and nonstop for nigh onto a month.

Sometimes the stupid statement is so egregious and unmistakable there is no way to explain it away. In those cases, the candidate usually runs away and refuses to give interviews.

Being ‘Cracker Lite’ is All the Rage
It’s one thing to be aggressively ignorant, but it’s another to run from who you are and what you say.

Perhaps the most common scenario lately involves racism. Racism is hard to prove, but it’s like porn – you know it when you see – at least if you’re honest about it.

Provable or not, there are a lot more cases of possible racism now that all the angry white guys are trying to get back in with the voters and there’s an African American in the White House. It’s fashionable to be “cracker lite” these days. I vaguely recall that when George the Indifferent was President few people said things about him being dumb white cracker from Texas or question whether he was a closet Muslim, Kenyan escapee, or a socialist far to the left of Uncle Fidel. But now, mysteriously, these things keep happening and keep being denied.

Not all racially-tinged speech or behavior is clearly racist. Sometimes people just don’t think before they talk. Not all Tea Partiers are racists, although statistically there does seem to be a dearth of color at their rallies. Face it, if you were black, would you go to a rally with a bunch of people with whom you vehemently disagree?

Racist Tea Partier

WHAA?! - When in doubt, claim the other guy is the racist.

But sometimes, racism is unquestionable. I don’t believe that Sharron Angle, ignorant sow that she is, would say something like the clearly Latino people in her anti-immigration ads (BTW, since yanked from the web over copyright claims) possibly being Asians who cross the border from Canada, and then imply she is all Asiany herself…to a room full of Latinos. You don’t say things like that unless you are clearly and stupidly trying to draw attention away from your own asshatted agenda – at the expense of an ethnic group – or you really believe that claptrap.

Though granted it could be one or the other or both in Sharron’s case.

Then, there’s the case of David Bartholomew, Virginia Beach Republican party chair. He emailed a “joke” about a man trying to get welfare benefits for his dog.

The Lazy Black Dog Jumped Over the Fat White Cracker
“My Dog is black, unemployed, lazy, can’t speak English, and has no frigging clue who his Daddy is,” goes the punchline. When called on it by some GOP bigs, Dipshit Dave resigned and hid in an undisclosed location to keep the email from becoming a “distraction”. To their credit, several Republicans spoke against the hate message.

But one, Gary Byler, a congressional district chair, left no doubt where he stood. Byler said he was “horrified” by the email, but that didn’t stop him from sticking his own racist boot in his mouth by saying Diamond Dave forwarded the email when, “he was first getting familiar with the Internet.” Losing a document is something a newbie does, sending racist emails “accidentally”? Not so much.

There were other apologists too. Independent candidate and former GOP swell, Kenny Golden, said Bartholomew was being thrown under the bus too quickly. “David would never do something like that on purpose.” Several GOPstoppers thought the Democrats were at fault for “blowing the email out of proportion.” And one suggested, “Oh, absolutely they are!” she said it was possible Bartholomew sent the email “for awareness,” what she characterized as “sending it to somebody and saying ‘look how pathetic people think this is.’”

Oh, heavens to Betsy!

Here’s the thing. If you say racist things and can’t come up with a better excuse than the dog ate my concept of equality, don’t say them. Better yet, if you say racist things, own up to them and don’t offer excuses.

Hell, there’s not even any reason to resign. Be a modern day David Duke. Stand up and be a proud racist. Tell people that darkies just aren’t for you. It’s the best PR move you could make.

If you’re pandering to racists, they’ll be happy to have you join the club. If not, voters will see you for who you are, not withstanding your hiding out with The Big Dick™ at the Undisclosed Quail Hunting Ranch and Whiskey Emporium. As Ben Franklin once said, “If you must fart, fart proudly.”

“If you must be a bigot, be a proud bigot.” We’ll all be happier.

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GOP: When Stereotypes Come Home to Roost


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah
We Are Not Racist

PARTY OF LINCOLN? - It's refreshing to see a Republican fight a stereotype about them by taking strong action against a stereotype their candidate imposed on others.

As a party, Republicans have moved from mainstream conservatism toward the outer fringes of their tent.  In getting cozy with their ideological outer edge  they’ve ended up with some unsavory candidates, like Sharron Angle, Christine O’Donnell, and Sarah Palin. In essence, the GOP has been out-righted by the far right.

The party spends a lot of time defending itself from charges of supporting only rich people or Big Business. But they complicate their defense by drafting a new Contract on America™ that’s heavy on tax cuts they can’t explain and inviting de facto lobbyists to help author it.

Huzzah for the GOP
Another charge leveled against the party is racism. While you can no more profile a Republican’s race relations philosophy than you can profile an illegal immigrant, sometimes stereotypes are true. This time the GOP stereotype is NY congressional Candidate, Jim Russell.

I Never Said That

STEREOTYPE? WHO ME? - If the stereotype fits you either wear it or fight against it.

Russell became the party nominee after previous candidate, Paul Wasserman, dropped out. Now the party wants to sue to remove him from the ballot over charges that Russell is a racist.

Judging from his public statements about minorities – like his support for eugenics – his racism seems to show as plainly and unequivocally as a southern belle’s antebellum skirt. But, Republicans shouldn’t be  surprised since Russell has run as a Republican – and lost his primaries – no fewer than three times and they’ve never objected to him before.

The GOP frequently argues against the race card charge by pointing out they’re “the party of Lincoln”. The problem is Lincoln died 145 years ago and the GOP of today bears little resemblance to the GOP circa 1860. The not your great-great grandfather’s GOP often discriminates against all manner of people they don’t like – Muslims, gays, and Mexicans alike.  With a record like that and Russell’s, its little wonder why racial stereotypes of Republicans die about as readily as their stereotypes of race.

A Breath of Fresh Air
But in the Russell case, I’ll give Westchester GOP chair, Doug Colety, props. Not only did he denounce Russell, but said, “We’re not supporting him. We’ve withdrawn funds, volunteers, all resources. This is not the way Republicans think.” Although he also used the party of Lincoln gambit, he did take strong and positive action against a virulent racist. A breath of fresh air, someone who actually does hold people – including himself – accountable.

More’s the pity more GOPers don’t do the same. Instead of praising a Governor promoting unfair – and possibly illegal – legislation against immigrants it would be nice if they actually tried to help find a rational response to the very real problem of illegal immigration instead of spreading rumors of fictional headless corpses along the border. Or, instead of attacking Muslim’s freedom of religion and Constitutional rights, they might listen to some of their saner Christian brethren who call for religious harmony.

Although I don’t think I’d ever be one – but I’d also say, “never say never” – there’s nothing wrong with Republicanism or conservatism, it’s the people, like Russell and Angle & Co., who sometimes give it a bad name. It’s admirable that leaders like Colety accept that the buck stops with them. However, if you bolster your own stereotypes, don’t bitch when they’re used against you.

You’ll be better off as will the nation.

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The Intransigent vs. the Inept


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah
Bull Pucky

PULLIN' IT OUT OF THEIR ASS - The Republican 'Just Say No' strategy requires little effort or thought. The only thing they need is the ability to form single syllable words and pull crap out of their own asses.

Much has been made about the probability that Republicans will take control of Congress in the fall. The conventional wisdom says yes, but there are a number of Dems who say they can defeat the odds. The truth is, the conventional wisdom is probably right. The open question is whether it will be a Republican blowout or a squeaker.

Clearly, the honeymoon is over, although The Messiah™ does have some residual goodwill in some quarters. Unfortunately, it’s mostly amongst the non-voting public. The G(N)OP would have us believe there’s a massive ideological sea change going on. One in which power is shifting right – waaay right – though polls don’t clearly suggest that. Injecting a little reality suggests that ideological movement is more a case of the tea baggers brewing a nice cup of Crazy Earl Grey and the opposition remaining silent to their lunacy. And, it’s that silence that’ll bite the Dems on their quivering, fraidy-cat asses.

Throwin' in the Towel

SPINELESS ASSES - The Democrats have all the intestinal fortitude of the French army in a firefight.

Seeing Isn’t Necesarily Believing
It’s difficult for the public (and impossible for Republicans) to see– that The Big Guy™ has made some modest progress on his agenda. He managed to push a health care bill through, though it was deeply flawed, and one of the most spineless wins on record. Walking into negotiations already conceding ground isn’t a negotiating tactic that works well. You can say much the same for financial reform. We got something, though not much, and what we did get was preapproved by corporate greedheads so they can continue robbing the country blind.

He’s also lost chances on bushels of low hanging fruit. Gays in the military, offshore oil drilling, and rolling back many of the Bush policies on a range of issues from Afghanistan to Gitmo to portions of the Patriot Act would’ve all been easier than health care, kept his base engaged, and shown independents that he has a backbone.

The one-word strategy of the Republicans is an easy position. Repeating “no” like an idiot savant isn’t hard. It requires no real work or talent beyond the ability to form a single syllable. It’s easy for your base to understand – especially if your base is comprised of fellow savants – and gives you an ironclad response to almost anything. It covers over a lot of bumbling too. Can you say Michael Steele?

Yes is a Hard Sell
Yes is a much harder sell. It’s complicated. It’s sometimes scary. And, it requires voters that understand two or more syllable words. It also requires the ability to legislate without pissing your political pants because the Momma Grizzlies and their fellow-traveling blowhards call you a commie. Or worse yet, a liberal.

Republicans are, if nothing else, consistent to a pathological, almost savage, and bloodthirsty degree. Most of the time you couldn’t pry the fatheads off a position with dynamite and a backhoe. Look at them as the party of the Red Curtain. By comparison, Democrats have all the cohesiveness of a herd of cats. Look at them standing naked in their bathtub, hands over their sex-educated privates, with yellow rivulets running down their wrinkly, ancient legs.

Part of this is the nature of the people that populate the two parties. Conservatives want to drive their Franklin Steamers in reverse all the way back to 1909. Democrats have the car in drive, but can’t bring themselves to get off the brake and hit the gas…and they don’t have a map or destination they can all agree on anyway.

But, it’s not as though Republicans are immune from shitting in their own mess kits. Their sucking up to the tea baggers may end up making them as beholden to The Lipton Tea Men as they are to corporatist Czars like Tony Hayward, the new Potentate of Siberian Crude.

There’s no way to tell what the fall will bring, but if both parties don’t shape up, it’ll be a hell of a ride.

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