Newt Gingrich: Leading the Cockroach Ticket

Newt's Dick

AND THEN I TOLD MARIANNE… – “Darlin’, I got some serious junk here and there’s just too much of Newt to not share the wealth.”

Newt Gingrich has an ego as big as all outdoors, or at least a big as Donald Trump’s. He’s a historian with only a nodding acquaintance with text book history and his own self-professed place in it.  The other thing Newt has is a propensity for pissing people off. People like voters and political allies in his own party. While this isn’t an altogether useless skill in an election, it isn’t so great when a President has to work with people rather than through them. If cockroaches will survive nuclear holocaust Newt will be right there tossing garbage to them.

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Randomness: Sex Terms for Dummies

Michele Bachmann may have dropped out but Rick “Governor Goodhair” Perry is still inexplicably hanging on in the GOP race. And, Mitt the Mormon keeps mouthing weak-assed religious platitudes to anyone goofy enough to listen to him. However, he is careful about how loudly he delivers them lest someone pick up the cult meme again.

Newt GingGrinch has gone back to being an evil-tempered heathen because, really, who ever believed his new found piousness anyway? Ron Paul never was on the God train because he’s too busy just being  a damn weird Keebler Elf. And that other Mormon guy, what’s is name? Hunter? Huntmeister? Oh yeah, Jon “Missing an H” Huntsman is too far away from the microphone for anyone to hear what he’s saying.

Whatever happens to these goobs, Rick Santorum is still leading the Change of the Christian Brigade.  No one would describe Rick as sex-savvy, so he’ll need some help talking to the non-Fundy voters out there. Herewith: Sex Terms for Dummies.

51 Words for Vagina

51 Words for Penis

51 Words for Anal Sex (A Santorum Favorite)

 

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Randomness: Political Style

When the going gets tough, the tough become laughable: Mitt Romney, Michele Bachmann, New Gingrich, giant teabags, and Giving a Shit. If you don’t laugh, these videos will make you cry.


Do YOU Give a Shit?

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If Ben Bernake is a Traitor, What Does That Make Rick Perry?

A OK, Perry

OKAY - Look at me. I got me a herd of the Rick Perry cheerleaders. Pretty fillies, ain't they?

During George the Lesser’s reign people with legitimate beefs with the regime were labeled as traitors or accused of hating America. Don’t wear a flag pin? Traitor! Mention that perhaps the War of Error might not be such a good thing. Why do you hate America?! Today, if you deviate from the Bachmann/Perry line the teabaggers scream, “It’s time to take back OUR country! We will be heard!”

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When You Lay Down With the Pigs You Get Muddy

Markets React to Debt

3, 2, 1...LAUNCH! - Despite their claims the debt is a myth, astonished Tea Partiers watch as their truth comes in contact with reality

John Boehner, see what happens when you jump in the pigsty and wallow with the biggest, baddest sow around? Mud, as it turns out, sticks.

In the last election, you cozied up to the Teabaggers with a wink, wink, nudge, nudge confidence that the GOP Old Guard could control those over-exuberant pups on a double caffeine tea jag. You won back the House, but now you’re caught by the balls between a cup of Morning Thunder tea and a crate of tea bags.

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