GOD WANTS LOW WAGES – Pay them nothing and they will teach.

•   McGill comments get national attention,
• AEA boss gives McGill failing grade

I’ve only half-joked for years that God really needs a better PR team here in the temporal world. Some of the most log-headed charlatans, grifters, and just plain logically-challenged people claim to speak on His behalf. Pat Robertson, Ted Haggard, and the ethically inept Newt Gingrich are just a few who work non-stop to tarnish God’s image.

Unfortunately, there’s another PR flack trying to grab a share of the ignobility. AL state Sen. Shadrack (Shadrack, really? Shadrack?) McGill is currently charming the nation’s electorate with the fanciful notion that God has issued an edict that teachers should be underpaid, perhaps as foretold in the Book of Ignoramus.

“It’s a Biblical principle. If you double a teacher’s pay scale, you’ll attract people who aren’t called to teach. To go and raise someone’s child for eight hours a day, or many people’s children for eight hours a day, requires a calling. It better be a calling in your life. I know I wouldn’t want to do it, OK?”

Oddly, though not surprisingly, McGill doesn’t extend the same “logic” to lawmakers. Last year he voted for a 62% increase in his pay.

Lawmakers: Bribed, Not Called

I suppose this illuminates his idea that lawmakers don’t need to be called to serve, they must be bribed to take on the job. It’s not unlike paying a large retention bonus to the CEO who ran the company into the ground because his expertise is essential to rebuilding the business.

But in his defense, McGill reasons that by paying lawmakers more they’re less susceptible to bribery – apparently bribery from someone other than the unbribable legislators themselves.

Head-scratcher, ain’t it?

It doesn’t do much for his credibility that he voted to tie legislators’ pay to the average Alabama teacher’s pay last year and reversed course this year. It’s OK though, flip flopping is a venerated sport at the Statehouse Country Club and the all seeing, all knowing God won’t really notice a little free play with facts.

Darby McGill and the Little People claim Alabama teachers are the 4th best paid in the country. Now I don’t know about you, but most people know that pretty much everything in Alabama education sucks a big weenie. They usually joust with Mississippi for the 49th or 50th spot in everything – although Propped 13 California is a strong up and commer. The true value of an Alabama teacher’s pay actually ranks 31st in the National Miseducation Sweepstakes.

Smite That Rascal Lord

Hey McGill, wait a minute. If that No. 4 standing is correct aren’t you overpaying teachers and attracting a bad crowd of the unmotivated kind? Shouldn’t you work harder to lower Alabam’s No. 4 ranking to 49th – or at least 45th?

If you’ll excuse a minor blasphemy…my God. If you claim to be serving as God’s on-scene commander, the least you could do is get your story straight. It might also sit better with the Big Guy if you didn’t stand behind his robes and yell, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but my words and actions will never haunt me.”

God, I know you and I haven’t been on a first name basis for close to 45 years now, but I like to think we at least have a workable truce. So I beseech thee, if you’re really there control people like McGill. They do a disservice to you and just really chap the pants off the rest of us – You-fearing and not fearing alike.

Smite him o’ Lord. Cast him into the fiery pit of the unelectable. Just take away his 62% pay hike before you give him the eternal shove.

Can I get an Amen?

Related articles

• Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah speaks about politics, religion, economics, and crapweasels
• GOP Lawkmaker: Keeping Teacher Pay Low ‘A Biblical Principle’ (huffingtonpost.com)
• Bible Man Better Be Able to Deflect Lawsuits (patheos.com)
• Alabama Republican Lawmaker: Teacher Payraise “Unbiblical,” Defends 62% Legislator Payraise (warmsouthernbreeze.wordpress.com)

Share/Bookmark

Jerusalem

Minor skirmishes broke out when Christian, Jewish, and Muslim supporters fought for hours over which calendar – Gregorian,  Hariji, or Hebrew – to use in planning the move. Chinese representatives remain neutral on the calendar question and the Romans voted in absentia for the Julian Calendar.

The fighting broke out after the Christian delegation charged the Muslim and Jewish delegations of declaring a War on New Year.

“They declared a War on Christmas and now they’re trying to steal the entire year from us,” said Hank Hucklebuck, Chairman of the God Says We’re Right and You’re Wrong Alliance. “Like Christmas, New Year has been part of a Christian tradition leading all the way back to 1582 when St. Greg of the Equinox threw out that evil Julian calendar.”

“Look, Christians are a fair-minded lot and we would never want to deprive others of their right to celebrate the New Year as they wish. However, we’re right, they’re wrong and only God can change that. We have already contacted his representative, Pat Robertson, to negotiate when our calendar will be chosen. We are looking forward to resolving this issue peacefully,” Hucklebuck said.

Muslim representatives had a different point of view.

“Those Christians are always going around shoving Jesus into our faces. To me this has nothing to do with the calendar. Mohamed is clearly the most important of any prophet in any religion and he chose the Hariji. Of that, there is no question,” said Isaiah Mustafa.

Israel’s Hebrew Calendar Defense League threatened violence if the Gregorian or Hariji calendars were adopted.

“We may have nuclear weapons. We have a very capable fighting force. We have the might of the last remaining global superpower behind us. We will prevail,” said Bibi Badder, Chief of Israel’s Time Continuum Militia. “If our calendar is not chosen, as as God directs, we will bomb the US Congressional Prayer Caucus, Iran, and both Michele Bachmann and that other fool…Richard Santorum.”

Fighting calmed only slightly after several unsuccessful attempts to negotiate a cease fire. Sources say that negotiations broke down when representatives could not agree on a calendar to use in setting up the ceasefire timing. A small group of Atheists tried to enter the meeting and offer a compromise based on a scientific calendar, but Islamic, Christian, and Jewish members threw stones at them until they drove them from the Temple on the Mount.

“We may not be able to agree on a calendar,” Hucklebuck said, “but we can all agree that whatever the atheists propose is complete scientific mumbo-jumbo.”

When it appeared the chance for an agreement was unlikely the Christian delegation decided to gear up their grassroots War on Christmas organization for a War on New Year. They’ve called on Fox News to launch the crusade immediately. Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity have already come aboard.

“People will call things by their proper Christian names or they will be hanged as enemy combatants for their violations of our family values. If we do not win this war – though that’s impossible because God is on our side – homosexualist indoctrinators will tell our kids they can’t pray in school and a massive outbreak of man-on-horse sex could rage,” said GOP Presidential candidate Rick Santorum.

“Mark my words.”

Related articles

• The Omnipotent Poobah speaks about humor, religion, and politics (omnipotentpoobah.com)
• First Date Shift Since 1927 (lezgetreal.com)
• Samoa leads partying for the new year (smh.com.au)
• David Hunter: What year is it? Well, that depends (knoxnews.com)
• New Year’s Eve 2011 and the Launching of 2012 (examiner.com)
• Samoa calendar change: Samoans lose 24 hours as island moves over … – Daily Mail (dailymail.co.uk)
• New Year Cheer Starts Early in Time-Jumping Samoa (abcnews.go.com)

Share/Bookmark

As America rearms for the annual War on Christmas™, a new study from the University of British Columbia provides some fresh ammunition to fuel the Yule Logs of War™. The study of 350 American adults and 420 Canadian university students shows that many theists believe atheists are about as trustworthy as rapists and would outright discriminate against them in several ways. However, atheists don’t seem to harbor a corresponding distrust of theists.

The extent to which you believe the study likely hinges on the larger battle at the center of the schism – God or science.

Can't we all just get along?

I suspect a rather large group holding  Santoran or Bachmannite (BTW, note the change on Michele’s mug change when she hears the question on the video) views of gay rights or sex might not cotton to the study’s less-than-charitable view or them.

On the other hand, atheists will likely trumpet the scientific view of this and other studies – probably doomed to failure when dealing with people who believe the Earth is 4,000 years old. Let’s face it, there are zealots on both sides of the argument and other than the certitude of each camp’s beliefs that’s unlikely to change.

Come on, it’s Christmas or the holidays, Kwanzaa or Eid al-Adha, Chanukkah or any one of dozens of secular and non-secular holidays. How about we all just leave the choice of what we want to call it and whether others invoke God often enough? Let’s call a Christmas truce and stop saying “they” are evil.

With all the other ills we face, we could really use some peace on Earth for a change.

Related articles

• The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks About Civil Rights, Religion, and Politics (omnipotentpoobah.com)
• Christmas Eve: Dec. 24 (lifeinliturgy.wordpress.com)
• Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and Happy Kwanzaa (greateratlantametrohomebuyersrealtor.wordpress.com)
• There is a god, and His name is Allah: My personal gift to Atheists & Anti-Theists: (garethbryant.wordpress.com)
• Why Catholics Should Not Participate in Kwanzaa: The Daniel Standard (k2globalcommunicationsllc.wordpress.com)
• KWANZAA: Legitimate Religious Holiday or Political Marxist Agenda? (clove0771.wordpress.com)
• Happy Holidays! (kaleidoscopeseasons.com)
• New holiday stamps for Christmas, Eid, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
• Kwanzaa Principles (mademan.com)
• Nina In New York: On ‘The Holidays’ (newyork.cbslocal.com)
• Cornwall Public Schools, New York: So You Think Your Childs Mind is Safe in Public School? (k2globalcommunicationsllc.wordpress.com)

Share/Bookmark

IN GOD WE TRUST - This religious display is quite appropriate and didn't need an act of Congress to do.

GOP Rep: ‘Few things more important than re-affirming ‘In God We Trust’

I’m an Atheist, but I like most Theists. Really, I do. Admittedly I don’t agree with them, but I’m also strongly for the idea of to each his own. But, sometimes some of them can be real pains in the tuckus.

Fundamentalist Christians complain incessantly about how the 10-15% of the non-Christian naysayers of this nation have them on the ground with the jackboot of oppression on their necks, poised to prevent them from saying Merry Christmas or some other form of “oppression”. Having overwhelmingly fewer jackboots than God-fearing necks is mathematically impossible. Perhaps it’s a modern-day expression of the Loaves and Fishes School of Math Theory.

But oppression? Really? Syria is oppressed. Most of Africa is oppressed. A good number of Americans are oppressed. Hell, China is so oppressed they almost stamp out all religion. In some places on Earth oppression comes at the point of a gun. Asking to simply let government be government and religion be religion isn’t oppression, even if people scream it in frustration over the unending need to label everything on God’s (their opinion, not mine) green earth with a religious creed.

The ‘Reaffirmation’ Commeth
The latest example is Rep. Randy Forbes’ (R-VA) – and the 64 co-sponsors of his bill – legislation to “affirm” In God We Trust as the national motto. Apostle Randy wants to encourage public buildings, schools, and government facilities to carve the motto into whatever stone is available in their crumbling, under-funded, spending-cut hallways.

Personally, I don’t think we even need a national motto and if I did, I’d rather have something like No New Taxes or Capitalism Uber Alles, even though I don’t agree with those sentiments either.

In God We Trust is already on our money and the official US motto by law. I’m not agitating to remove it. If a dollar is still a dollar (adjusted for inflation) I don’t think it’s worth the trouble. Besides, when people throw it in the collection plate it’s labeled so God can easily find his money among the assorted socialist Canadian nickels.

This whole reaffirmation concept is a bit weird. Do we go around reaffirming other laws? How about the tax code? De we need to carve it into the walls of the Republican National Committee’s walls? Was the failure to reaffirm prohibition what eventually led to its downfall? C’mon.

How ’bout a Few Props for the Rest of Us?!
This bill, “sends a message that ‘In God We Trust’ is not only written in the halls of our federal buildings, but it is a bedrock upon which our nation is built.” Forbes explained. “…in times of national challenge or tragedy, the people of the United States have turned to God as their source for sustenance, protection, wisdom, strength, and direction.”

Fair enough. I feel that if you want to turn to God when things go to Hell, smite yourself out. Whatever gets you through the dark ride of life is a good thing – God or otherwise. The problem is that not all of “…the people of the United States” turn to God. It’s also true the “bedrock upon which the nation is built” was mostly Christian. However, it ignores the work of those who didn’t believe in God. Hey, how about a few props for the rest of us?!

In God We Trusters, here’s a little experiment. Ask yourself how you’d feel if I authored legislation that said, “You know, those God-fearing folk were a bunch of goldbrickers. Here I was, off building some bedrock, and they were spending all their time carving mottos into every available flat surface. No wonder it took so long to build the intercontinental railroad.”

Yeah. It doesn’t feel quite right, does it?

Related articles

• The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks About Religion, Politics, and Jesus Sightings (omnipotentpoobah.com)
• Today, Congress Will Vote to Reaffirm ‘In God We Trust’ As the American Motto (patheos.com)
• GOP Bill Would Affirm ‘In God We Trust’ As National Motto – Pete Kasperowicz, The Hill (allenwestrepublic.wordpress.com)
• Action Alert: “In God We Trust” motto to be reauthorized (secularnewsdaily.com)
• Vote of No Confidence (alesbianphysician.wordpress.com)
• Republican House To Waste Time This Week With Religious Pandering (alan.com)
• A Litte US History (budgetnomad.blogspot.com)
• Postal Tip (deaconjohn1987.wordpress.com)
• “In God We Trust” or “In God We Fear”? Announcing New Book Release that Reveals the True Treasure of the Lord (prweb.com)
• House to Vote on Beefing Up ‘In God We Trust’ (newser.com)

Share/Bookmark

But, there’s the message and then there’s the way you deliver the message.

Backyard Skeptics, an organization that bills itself as, “Where humanists, rational thinkers, atheists and agnostics have a place to explore the world without religious dogma,” plans this weekend to rip pages out of the Bible they believe portray immoral biblical law.

The message that the Bible has passages that are immoral is a valid topic for discussion. Some reasoned discourse on biblical questions like these would be welcome in an era when understanding one another is limited to how loudly you yell at your opponents.

Non-Desecration By Destruction
But Backyard Skeptics Director Bruce Gleason says, “We’re not there to burn the Bible or desecrate. There are plenty [of] verses in the Bible that if you did any of those things today, you’d be thrown in jail immediately.”

True, some of those things would get you arrested, convicted, and maybe even sent to death row. But, Gleason’s claim that he isn’t there to “desecrate” the Bible rings hollow. Most Christians would beg to differ that ripping pages out of their holy book isn’t desecration and they aren’t the only ones.

Muslims understandably weren’t so pleased when renown nutcase and “clergyman” Terry Jones thought toasting marshmallows over an open fire of burning Korans would be a fine thing. In fact, Jones’ justifications weren’t all that different from Gleason’s. “Jesus would not run around burning books,” Jones said last year, “but I think he would burn this one [because He disagrees with it].”

And interestingly, Gleason’s protest engages in what Christians might call evangelism, but with a secular twist. “We want to make this a better world for secular and humanistic values,” Gleason said. “We don’t believe prayer works. We don’t believe religion adds anything except a sense of false hope.”

I believe Christians often rely too heavily on martyrdom. It’s their constant screed they’re an endangered species being systematically rubbed out by the forked-tailed devils around them. That’s an outrageous debating point for a group that makes up 75-80% of the American population. It’s nothing more than needless antagonism toward people who don’t believe what they believe…just as atheists ripping pages out of a Bible make their motives suspect.

Jugheads Doomed to Hell
And it’s not that theists don’t engage in their own intolerance. Atheists are probably one of the groups most singled out by theists. At least Muslims believe in some God, even if many Christians believe Allah is a mere pretender to the throne of higher power. Believe in yourself and you’re some sort of jughead doomed to Hell and sucking the faithful right along with you – a sort of reverse Rapture.

This isn’t a Constitutional issue. The Supreme Court has consistently ruled that desecrating books or flags, or almost anything else is free speech and on that I agree with them (as long as that freedom is doled out equally for all). After all, they only ruled the speech free, not that it wasn’t ill-advised or provocative.

No, this is a matter of communicating beliefs. Dueling billboards that promote God or atheism? OK. Handing out information about your beliefs? OK, as long as you don’t tag along trying to convert me when all I want is a nice walk in the park. Ripping, burning, pissing on, or otherwise disrespecting someone’s belief symbols is intrusive, insulting, provocative, and needless.

In other words, it’s a hell of a way to rally people to your cause.

The Omnipotent Poobah, aka Jack Koeneman, is an atheist.

 Related articles

• More From the Poobah on Religion (omnipotentpoobah.com)
• Atheist Group To Publicly Destroy ‘Immoral’ Pages of the Bible (inquisitr.com)
• Atheist Groups Plans to Rip Up Bible in a Demonstration This Saturday (patheos.com)
• Believe in mad rubbish because it’s good for you (freethoughtblogs.com)
• I have doubts Backyard Skeptics (mojoey.blogspot.com)
• Are Atheists Obsessed With God? (anythingbuttheist.blogspot.com)
• “Atheists Are Just Spiritually Lazy” ….O’RLY?! (blackatheists.wordpress.com)

Share/Bookmark