Tag Archives: George W Bush

Reagan: 50 Ways to Scare the Moths Out of Your Wallet


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah
WHEN $50 ISN'T ENOUGH - Since it's unlikely Reagan ever saw something as small as a $50 bill, perhaps a higher denomination is in order.

WHEN $50 ISN'T ENOUGH - Since it's unlikely Reagan ever saw something as small as a $50 bill, perhaps a higher denomination is in order.

Of all the things this country desperately needs, St. Ronnie of Reagan’s wrinkly-assed, ancient mug on a $50 bill is the least of them. We don’t need his name on airports, aircraft carriers, nor innumerable middle schools. No St. Ronnie of Reagan churches, no Ronnie slept here historical markers, no Ronald Reagan Memorial Waste Water plants.

I’m even in favor of renaming the Ronald Reagan Library because politicians are poor role models and shouldn’t have anything more named for them than absolutely necessary. (I’m strongly in favor of renaming the George W. Bush Presidential Library too, but less because he’s a politician than because he couldn’t find a “libary” if his dumb ass depended on it.)

While most of the rest of the world goes with painters, musicians, or something else innocuous – like souvlakis or cheese sandwiches – we hold steadfast to pasting the mugs of dead politicos on our cash. Oddly, we have this in common with the many dictators who like seeing themselves on every available flat surface in their country. “Hey, lets put my face on the dinar so it matches the gold sofa in my Presidential palace – or I will execute you!”

Yet, Rep. Patrick T. McHenry (R-Neptune), sees this as essential Congressional “bidness”. He says St. Ronnie deserves to scare the moths out of everyone’s wallet because he ranks higher than Ulysses in presidential polls. Following Patrick McHenry’s (“Give me McLiberty or give me McDeath!) logic, Rutheford B. Hayes, Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, and Grover Cleveland should all get their faces on money before Ronnie.

It’s a lame reason anyway. It’s also lame because Ronnie was a shit, morally and politically, and did not single-handedly take down the Berlin Wall brick by asbestos-covered brick as the more deluded politicians – who’d knock RR’s vacant smile off money in a minute if they thought they could get anyone to put their own blockish heads on instead – would have you believe.

I say let’s take all politicians off money completely. I say let’s go for some butterflies or pretty amber waves of grain. Hell, I bet a majestic purple mountain on the $50 would be a vast improvement over a drunken, middling, Republican war hero OR a retired B-movie actor with a background in sports broadcasting, a crappy memory, and running the California and Federal governments into the ground. Even a photo of a dog would be preferable.

I hereby nominate my sharbrador, Fiona.

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Randomness: Whatchoo Gonna Do Style


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah
DEEP THOUGHTS - Who knew that Iron Mike was such a deep and soulful thinker?

DEEP THOUGHTS - Who knew that Iron Mike was such a deep and soulful thinker?

Well, Whadda Ya Gonna Do?

When Randomness Attacks!

And Some People Put Their Faith in the Private Sector

The Naughty Bits

Criminal Jugheads on Parades

They’re Clever, They Just Have Problems Making Brakes

Make It So Mr. Data

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Don’t Blame Obama, America Did It To Itself


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah

In the heat of a political campaign, otherwise intelligent people s0metimes lose their common sense. Whether floating away on clouds of lofty oration or by willful disbelief of the situation before them, the country ends up with a leader who’s not the candidate supporters think or is less monumentally incompetent than their man.

Obama BusWith George Bush, voters misjudged just what a stupendous mistake he was to become. Bush came into office, depending on your opinion, via a stolen election or the thinnest of margins – either way there were a lot of people who simply held their nose and pulled the lever.

No one could accuse the ex-Mushmouth-in-Chief of being a capable orator, but he was a capable fear monger. Borne on the sanctimonious wings of his hyperbole, many Americans took off the Breathe Right™ strips and poked their chads with somewhat more conviction. However, a few years of disastrous management can change a lot. Had he been able to run again, the ass-whupping McCain got would have more than doubled for him. However, knowing what you’re not buying isn’t the same thing as thinking you know what you are buying.

Barack Obama ran a sputtering campaign during much of the overly long campaign season, finally finishing strong against the War Hero and the Rogue. The O-Man is a superb orator and his calls for hope and bipartisanship exuded a confidence the nation desperately needed after eight years of the Carbuncle- in-Chief.

Most conservatives fell in love with Sarah and loved and voted for the ex-POW, while calling Obama a liberal, socialist, or communist, depending on how deeply they were sunk in Texas hill country muck.

The Obama supporters had such stars in their eyes, they completely lost the ball. After some small dalliances with other candidates, the liberal faction of the party came around and started believing the McCain hype that he was some sort of Messiah.

A non-scientific poll around the neighborhood shows that many voted for him because he wasn’t McCain, or were scared by the Hokey Mom, or just because Obama wasn’t in any way part of the nutcase Republican party or in any way Bushian.

Today we have a President loathed by the right because he’s too liberal and a left that would like to tear him a new one after seeing serial betrayal in each of his actions.

The independents? They got someone sufficiently non-threatening. They can go back to politics via remote control, without fear they will be directly or personally affected by much of anything.

Ten percent unemployment is just another way to say 90% employment – damn good odds if you’re playing PowerBall. Continuing Bush’s dismantling of the First Amendment is just hunky dory because it involves “enemy combatants” and wiretapping someone other than them. The rest of the daily crap is just way too taxing when you’re engrossed in DWTS.

“Hey, fella. Fix that problem and make me a PB&J while you’re at it. It’s still three years to the next commercial and I don’t want to miss anything.”

Obama, flush with his surprise Nobel, gives himself a B+. Conservatives who still think he’s a liberal because they stand somewhere to the right of Attila the Hun by comparison beg to differ. And just ask Howard Dean about that B+. He’ll be a lot easier to reach now that  he won’t be campaigning for Obama again. Independents are just giving Obie an incomplete so far.

Face it, Obama is neither liberal nor conservative. He’s the chicken crossing the road, caught on the white line with the events of history bearing down on him like an out of control semi. We got here because voters simply didn’t examine the goods closely and got hornswoggled for their trouble.

In short, we did it to ourselves.

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