Tag Archives: George W Bush

Parodies and the Public: Is Everyone so Gullible?


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah
The Rare Obama Corn

TRUTH OR FICTION - President Barack Obama wrestled a grizzly bear and a unicorn today in response to rumors that the two animals were socialists.

Update Fox Nation readers confuse Onion article with real news

I’m not really a pundit, I just play one on the web. And on occasion, commensurate with my faux punditly duties, I write a parody post. I may do this as a commitment to one of my core principles, “Scorn is mightier than ignorance”, or I might be bored or ready for a rant or just because I want to have a little fun – a pundit’s work is never done.

However, one of the consistent things about these parodies is that they always draw some proportion of people who actually believe them. One a few months back required me to add a disclaimer for fear open warfare would break out between the people who believed it was real and defended its “truth” and the people who believed it was real and tried to refudiate it.

Refudiate something that wasn’t true. Odd concept that.

Causing an Ideological War of the Worlds
I like to think I can sling a pithy narative as well as the next guy – certainly better than Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh – but, I find it hard to believe that my parodies are so great and realistic I might accidentally cause some sort of an ideological War of the Worlds.

Stupid Voter

STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES - Some people are so committed to the concepts of ignorance and gullibility they're forming their own political party.

I used to be mildly pleased by this. Ha ha, look how I pulled the wool over their eyes! It made me feel superior in the same way watching Jerry Springer makes me feel superior. I may be a goob, but at least I’m not an uber-goob who takes DNA tests to prove which of the 37 trailer park coquettes he’s been banging carries his child (it turns out about 34).

But as I rack up my tally of rubes, I’ve begun to wonder about the wider implications.

Our national discourse has become so rancorous and full of outright lies and gross distortions, you can’t even make things up anymore. People actually believed my  piece on the affair between Suzanne Malveaux and George Bush. Ditto my recent piece covering the Tea Party’s outrage over Obama pardoning Thanksgiving terror turkeys.

This may explain the popularity of  The Daily Show or Stephen Colbert‘s testimony to Congress. We know people watch those shows for their news, but the assumption that viewers understand they’re seeing imaginary news may be too broad.

The REAL Thanksgiving
Even when people watch mainstream news outlets like Fox, their common sense takes a powder. As I write this, Rush Limbaugh is pontificating on how the Indians scammed us on Manhattan and the pilgrims failed because they were socialists, a view supported by an honest to God US Congressman.

There was a day when that would’ve caused most people to shake their heads and think, “DAMN, there are a lot of imbeciles.” These days it draws a yawn, and in a truly troubling number of cases, more people who believe the blatant fantasies.

One of the core principles of the Founding Fathers was that of a well informed electorate. For example, believing horses could talk would at least cause the Founders to question your critical thinking skills. Today, pro-horse talking and anti-horse talking factions would form, there would be rancorous debate, and new laws enacted that both forbade and supported talking horses as a dozen different talking horse lobbies demanded.

We may have become too stupid and gullible to vote, particularly when the people we vote into office think the pilgrims failed because they were socialists. I’m tempted to write a parody about this, but it’s impossible.

There’s not enough believable reality left to craft a decent faux reality.

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You Know You Might Be a Liberal If…


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah
Kiss Me I'm a Liberal

GEORGE SURE HAS CHANGED - To a liberal this is either the worst thing in the world that could happen or testament to the fact that progressive ideals are so powerful they can influence anyone.

Note: Turnabout is fair play, so enjoy this companion post to last week’s You Know You Might Be a Tea Partier If… And moderates, your turn will come soon too.

You know you might be a liberal if you:

  • Make protest signs with perfect grammar and spelling, but that quote Camus…in the original French.
  • You’re willing to fight an uphill election battle, but no one understands your commercials.
  • Think of your party’s Big Tent as a canopy for a reception party after a gay wedding.
  • Refer to George W. Bush as the Anti-Christ, but are incensed when the right calls Obama The Messiah™.
  • Protest horrible work conditions for migrant farm workers, hotel maids, and Chinese prison labor…by throwing a $500 per head cheese and wine tasting.
  • Advocate for homeless rights…provided they don’t live in your neighborhood.
Conservative Babes

CONSERVATIVES ARE HOTTER...

  • Want environmental protections for every species on Earth…except those icky bugs and snakes.
  • Drive to a protest about shipping jobs overseas in your BMW.
  • Have a secret desire to be black, but are ashamed that it comes from your mother teaching you they’re terrific dancers.
  • Think Native American lands should be returned to their original owners while forgetting your house stands on what was once a sacred burial site.
  • You don’t own a single American flag pin.
  • Think Keith Olbermann is the only “fair and balanced” newser on TV.
  • Think gun ownership should be forbidden, including all weaponry used by the Armed Forces.
  • Vacation in every foreign nation under the sun, but have never traveled to an adjacent state.
  • Get pissed because Republicans refer to it as the Democrat party instead of the Democratic party.
  • Spell “the” as “teh”.
  • Believe the First Amendment guarantees everyone’s right to free expression, but think “hate speech” a should be illegal.
  • Believe that foreign despots will go away if you ask nicely.
  • Want to declare war on Christmas.
  • Are in favor of building the Ground Zero mosque while arguing with the local planning commission over the amount of traffic the new church being built in your neighborhood will generate.
  • Think of Talking Points Memo as a legitimate news outlet.
  • Don’t grasp why unredacted CIA intelligence isn’t printed in the newspaper every day.
Liberals

...BUT LIBERALS ARE SMARTER

  • Believe you’re an “honorary lesbian” because of that little one-night stand you had while drunk in college.
  • Believe that little one-night stand you had while drunk in college was “fun”, but you’d never do it again in a million years.
  • Want to ban sugar, salt, and fat from foods, but eat bacon-wrapped hors d’ouvers and drink rum and Cokes at your neighbor’s party.
  • Think black-on-black crime is caused entirely by white people.
  • Think everyone in the Midwest is some sort of inbred goob even though you’ve never met anyone outside the Washington, DC metro area.
  • Decry Republicans playing politics while grousing about Obama’s tepid response to criticism.
  • Think Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton are qualified to talk about anything having to do with African Americans.
  • Think anyone to the left of Ed Schultz is a crazed wing nut.
  • Really hate it when people don’t refer to liberals as progressives.
  • Think banning all oil drilling by 2011 is the solution to America’s energy problems.
  • Protest human rights violations in Chad without being able to find it on a map.
  • Oppose the death penalty, but also protest the poor conditions in the nation’s prisons.
  • Claim to have lots of gay and black friends, but can’t remember their names when someone asks…not that there’s anything wrong with that.
  • Support awarding huge damage claims to people who’ve smoked 3 packs a day despite the fact they’ve known smoking is a deadly for their entire adult lives.
  • Believe that Republicans lie and Democrats have inconvenient truths.
  • Complain about the condition of America’s educational system while sending your own kids to private school.
  • Think all Republicans are corrupt and hypocritical.
  • Think Bill Clinton was impeached for a BJ instead of lying to a grand jury.
  • Think Michelle Malkin is cute enough to sleep with, but would never tell anyone because of her politics.
  • Feel inferior if you don’t have a master’s degree.
  • Protest the efforts to repeal the 14th Amendment, but are still pissed that the Equal Rights Amendment didn’t pass.
  • Believe that donating an hour per week teaching an inner city kid how to read is intrinsically more valuable than a wealthy person donating $1000 to the literacy program.
  • Hate being called a socialist.
  • Are a vegan, but hate the taste of tofu.
  • Drink soy milk in your $6 cup of coffee.
  • Think DADT is the biggest problem facing the nation today.
  • Believe Nancy Pelosi is the greatest Speaker in the history of the House.
  • Believe that only white people can be racist.
  • Don’t understand why the Ground Zero mosque is a touchy subject for some people.
  • Decry the loss of newspapers and magazines, but own 4 Kindles.
  • You find this post as funny as You Know You Might Be a Tea Partier If…

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Whatever Happened to That Truth Commision Thing?


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah

Update Rep. Nadler: Investigate Torture or Face Road to Tyranny

Pulling the Mask Aside

PULLING THE MASK ASIDE - Even an ersatz Judge Judy like Fox's Andrew Napolitano thinks Bush the Lesser should have been indicted for his misdeeds. Clearly, that idea has gone by the wayside by a combination of political cowardice and extending the same Bush policies into the Obama era.

Remember those heady days when the reign of Bush the Lesser ended and the reign of The Messiah™ began? Hope was the watchword and people – with the possible exception of the Tea Bagger types who hate anything to do with hope, competence, or functioning brain cells – were infused with the “Yes we can” spirit?

Well, that didn’t work out quite as planned and neither did many of the other watchwords of the time – “investigation”, “subpoena”, and “truth commission”.

Remember how Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman, Patrick Leahy, called for investigations and threatened subpoenas for The Big Dick™ and Chimpy the Lame? Remember how he was so full of righteous indignation and how he pledged to get at the truth of how America ended up in two wars – originally scheduled as cake walks of several months – that still drone on 10 years later? The people would get answers about just what the hell torture was and exactly how we would or wouldn’t use it. There would be no stone unturned and punishment would fall where it may, based on sworn testimony and not the height of the throne on which crapulent asses sat.

The Gang Who Couldn’t Shoot Straight Escapes
That didn’t work out so well either. It turned out that badly-needed investigations, or even dishwater thin substitutes like a “truth commission”, never came. The Gang Who Couldn’t Shoot Straight escaped town before the tar was heated and the feathers plucked, right through a door the O-Man opened politely before them.

The Messiah™ made the first mistake of his fledgling Presidency by saying, “let bygones, be bygones”. Holding people accountable was just too rude and might offend the delicate sensibilities of the opposition. His hope was a new era of bipartisanship in which the world would be transformed into a civilized place full of harmony and love.

And we see how that worked out too.

The public got no answers. The Big Dick™ is indulging his heart attack fetish and the Chimp wiped his dirty hands on Bubba Bill’s back. Obama got neither bipartisanship nor support from any corner and we the people got a huge frickin’ bill for a war we can’t win nor withdraw from.

Not surprisingly, many people are still raw about the issue, even those who blindly supported the previous skeevy residents of 1600 Pennsylvania. Fox’s alleged legal expert “Judge” Andrew Napolitano has even turned on them. And when Fox turns on a Republican, it’s news – though Fox might not carry it for violating their “fair and balanced” policy.

Constitutional Paper

MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL PAPER - Both the Bush and Obama administrations have shown disdain for the Constitution.

In an interview with Ralph Nader, Napolitano said, “So what President Bush did with the suspension of habeas corpus, with the whole concept of Guantanamo Bay, with the whole idea that he could avoid and evade federal laws, treaties, federal judges, and the Constitution was blatantly unconstitutional and is some cases criminal.”

But what should have been done good judge?

“They [Bush and Cheney] should have been indicted. They absolutely should have been indicted for torturing, for spying, for arresting without warrant,” said Napolitano.

Even an Ersatz Judge Judy Gets It
And there you have it. Even an ersatz Judge Judy gets it. Even he understands that not holding someone accountable for the damage done in this country’s name is an insidious disease that weakens the fabric of America.

His comments speak volumes about the Bush administration, and by extension, the Obama one too. Many of the Bush administration’s most onerous assaults on the law and the Constitution are still in place or in legal limbo where Obama won’t touch them with a 10-ft. pole. Both administrations banked on the public getting restless and wandering away to watch So You Think You Can Do Brain Surgery.

And we did just that.

It’s an amazing thing that Tea Baggers and Republicans can carp about Obama being a lefty and single-handedly destroying the nation while ignoring the fact that on most large issues – particularly those associated with security – nothing of substance has changed. He’s still feeling his way through the minefield by disturbing as little as possible, instead of bringing in the demolition experts and having them clear the road ahead.

It’s a hell of a way to honor justice or the Constitution.

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Truth, Truthier, Truthiest: Who’s Spreading Rumors


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah
True Lies

WHO IS TRUTHIER? - Does the Snopes survey have the answer? Who are the biggest, least truthful rumor-mongers?

Politicians are fond of saying they figure out how to vote by throwing something against the wall to see what sticks. These days, that something is poop. And the Congressomonkeys throw it not only against the wall, but at each other and us.

It’s impossible to call anyone out for a vicious rumor, a “truthy” statement, or a downright lie these days without the opposing side going apoplectic and calling you a liar, a traitor, or a fascist commie (once again folks, they are polar opposites) without knowing the first damn thing they’re wailing about.

It’s not about being left or right, conservative or liberal – it’s about being willfully ignorant or aggressively dumb. It’s hard to hold the moral high ground while criticizing the opposition as your own lobbyists people spread the same rich manure of untruths. This is not the politics of change, but the entrenchment of stupidity.

It’s Not True Until It’s on Fox News
I personally feel both sides are guilty of this behavior, but that Republicans – particularly those pinkie-raised tea drinkers – have much louder voices, are much less apt to listen to anything from anyone unless its Rupert Murdoch or Sarah Palin, and seem to take as much pride in their anti-intellectualism as they do in their local Rotary’s annual pancake breakfast.

Whenever I broach this touchy subject, I try to acknowledge that both sides are guilty and it isn’t right for either side to say dishonest and hypocritical things. I do this because I strongly believe it’s true, but also as a way to deflect claims that one side or the other is worse right up front.  I almost never have much success. Too many comment threads devolve into pie-flinging matches over whose lie was bigger or whether you believe it’s “true” because Sarah or Keith says it.

For instance, I can predict that right now there are dozens of conservatives sharpening their quills and readying to let loose a flaming barrage of , “you liberal pussies are all alike”. On the left, folks are loading the trebuchet because I’m not being tough enough on the ‘baggers.

Welcome to the role of messenger.

Liar, Liar, PR Release on Fire
So today, lets let someone else address this issue. Before you immediately trash these statistics, remember they’re compiled by about as non-partisan a source as there is these days. Note that both sides have more than their fair share of half-truths and whoppers. And note that all compilations like these are never completely true nor false and are hard as the Dickens to calculate.

Here are the statistics:

According to the rumor verification site Snopes, there were 47 internet rumors about George W. Bush during his eight years in office. Of these, about 43% were true, 36% were false, and the rest were some mix that Stephen Colbert likes to call “truthy”.

By comparison, there have been 87 internet rumors about The Messiah™ during his less than two years in office. Of that number, 9% were found to be true and 68% untrue. The remainder tasted somewhat truthy to Snopes.

Of course, these statistics don’t mean much. I’m sure within the week there’ll be another analysis by someone calling this one a load of bunk. Some of the lazier folks will just claim it’s bunk without the research by saying Fox News told them it’s a constitutional amendment the commies are trying to sneak past everyone. Some, possibly the smartest ones in the crowd, will simply ignore it all because they’ve already given up.

Similarly, this survey means absolutely nothing to stemming the flood of untruths told by both sides. If you’re a lefty, it’s just confirmation of what you thought all along. If you’re a rightie, it’s another panic attack by limp-wristed liberals terrified at the notion that very loud, very angry people are “taking back the gummint”.

Although, I personally believe there’s more than a little truth to that last one, but then I’m on the “winning” side of the survey.

Just sayin’.

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Randomness: Who Cut the Cheese Style


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah
GIANT BABY HEAD - At 10 lbs. 7 oz. I thought my daughter was big.

GIANT BABY HEAD - When they're awake they're nothing but big cry babies. Click photo >>

How Can You Govern a Country With 246 Varieties of Cheese? – C. De Gaulle

True Crime That Makes You Feel Superior

All-Consuming Consumerism

FILL 'ER UP - The best waaaay of waking up is a robot with a cuuuup!

FILL 'ER UP - The best waaaay of waking up is a robot with a cuuuup! Click photo >>

Robot-O-Land

  • I wonder if this robot can play the theme from Lost in Space?
  • To keep development costs under control, engineers carried their system optimization phase a little too far.
  • Honda shows off its “Hondots“.

Square Pegs Seeking Round Holes

The Inscrutable Secrets of Japan

Pop Culture Without the Fizz

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