03/5/12

Rush Limbaugh, The Man With No Toes

Rush Limbaugh has an uncanny knack for shooting himself in the foot every time he speaks – which is about as often as a continuous-fire Gatling gun with an inexhaustible supply of ammo. Quite frankly, I believe the man has no toes left. He lost the shriveled pea in his head long ago. Thank God, the rattling was driving me crazy.

Rush likes to exercise his First Amendment Right to free speech with extreme prejudice. He’s allowed to do that. The Constitution only talks about free speech. It says nothing about stupid speech. He can insult as much as he likes and he’d be legally right. Morally right is something with which Rush has only a nodding acquaintance.

In the panoply of things he’s said about others and that others have said about him, calling someone a slut and prostitute is pretty tepid. I’m sure George Carlin’s advice would be, “Hey, they’re only words man. They won’t hurt you.”

I agree. In fact, people have called me much worse and I didn’t get mad about it. It goes with the territory. But then, I have rhino-like skin and am very poorly socialized. I also like to piss off people like Rush and The Dittohead Nation, so any verbal havoc I can raise is icing on the cake baby. Still, I know others aren’t so thick-skinned and will be outraged when he says stupid things.

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07/8/11

Welcome to Earth – Owned and Operated by Rupert Murdoch

Big Brother Says Welcome to His World

Demonstrating the number of assets belonging to Rupert Murdoch’s NewsCorp is like one of those, “If the national debt was represented by dollar bills laid end to end, it would reach Alpha Centuri” exercises. Let’s just say it’s huge. Uncle Rupert is the purveyor of both Sean Hannity and Australian Good Taste magazine – owned in partnership with Woolworth’s.

Woolworth’s? Really? The Donald has competition for Chairman of BadTasteCorp .

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04/9/11

Conservatives, What the Heck is Wrong With You?

Once upon a time, a day with earthquakes, nuclear meltdowns, government shutdowns, and wars sprouting like deadly nightshade would’ve been unthinkable. Today, it’s just another hum-drum, dog-bites-man day. That’s a whole lot of chaos and change going on and many of us react more profoundly to it.

Researchers at the College of London say conservatives and liberals have physically different brain structures and it’s not the first study to reach similar conclusions. Perhaps this is the reason – in a government designed around healthy debate – the two sides can’t agree on whether that smoke they see is from a damaged nuclear facility, greenhouse gasses, or fat CEO bonuses. Moderates just scream, “DO SOMETHING!” on commercial breaks during Dancing with the Stars – couch potato government by TV remote at its best.

Despite my usual rabidly left-wing screeds, my responses are generally calmer and more conciliatory in comments. I hunger for a day when I can express my opinion without being called a communist traitor, even though the traitor label is now worn like a Tea Bagger lapel pin among the conservative set. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose, but on the whole everyone gets dumped on.

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12/17/10

Thanks for Giving it The Old College Try PolitiFacts

LIAR, LIAR, HEALTH CARE ON FIRE - PolitiFacts makes the stunning discovery that the biggest lie of 2010 was, "a government takeover of health care." Who knew!

If there’s one year-end task that’s most difficult, it must be compiling the many Most of the Year, Best of the Year, Stupidest of the Year lists. Let’s face it, the modern world is a target-rich environment of cheese. Americans – especially those whom Fox News makes stupid – are addicted to these things. It gives everyone the chance to voice the opinion that whoever picked the list is a dead-wrong ass cake and there’s nothing Americans like more than eating their ass cake and having it too.

BTW, Mark Zuckerman as Time’s Man of the Year? Puhleeze! Either of the LoJoHos – LiLo or ScarJo - would be better choices. Then again, Zuckerman would easily win a contest against Kim Kardashian as Biggest Ass of the Year so everything evens out.

But the hardest of the hard, (Actually, that could be a spectacular list too…may I nominate Ron Jeremy?) is bipartisan PolitiFact’s choice of Lie of the Year. Damn! These guys are brave. The balls of a Wall Street bull, or at least the balls of a Wall Street CEO! As outrageous as Tony Hayward equipped with a microphone.

So without further ado – drum roll please – PolitiFact’s 2010′s Lie of the Year is… A government takeover of health care!

(Sound of crickets…)

THEY PROTEST, YOU DECIDE - A woman protesting the take over of government health care displays the reason why she's one of the viewers Fox News made stupid.

A government takeover of health care? Of all the stupid, idiotic, patently false utterances of 2000-fricking-10, that was the best you could come up with? For Chrissakes, you couldn’t swing a dead cat without hitting a lie this year. There was an election dammit! There wasn’t an election ad during the entire race that didn’t kill a hard-on with its lies.

Still, the PolitiFact’s survey did speak a truth. It recognized that in a lying-ass bumper crop of a lying year there were clear winners and those clear winners where The Party Couldn’t Talk Straight™.

It’s not that Democrats didn’t spout their own share of truthiness and bald face lies, they just used a little more finesse – sort of putting a little English on the 8-ball to grab defeat from the jaws of victory. When Republicans smacked Dems in the face with the Putrid Mackerel of Lying Bay™, the Democrats most often just genuflected and said, “Thank you sir, may I have another?”

Ten minutes later Fox News would cut in with breaking news. “Hey Brian. Republican Minority God, Mitch McConnell, has just announced that Democrats tried to coerce him into a sexually deviant behavior called, um, I’m not sure how to pronounce the word…bipartisanship – I’ll just use gay for short so as not to confuse our viewers. He said he only escaped by fighting off the gang of socialist zombies by beating them with his new $1500 wingtip shoes. After the break, we’ll go to Fox and Friends to report more details and you’ll decide they are the God’s honest truth. Back to you Gretchen!”

PolitiFacts, thanks for giving it the old college try.