THE GOLFING MESSIAH? - Brit Hume thinks the way to Tiger's redemption goes through the front door of the local Christian church. However, Tiger's choice seems to be through the local whorehouse.

Fox’s Big Giant Talking Head, Brit Hume, was criticized this week for offering life advice to Tiger Woods. Surely, Tiger could use some good advice (like staying away from nunneries), but Hume’s suggestion that Tiger have a “come to Jesus conversion” rankles many people. That seems slightly off base.

No matter how bone-headed you may personally think Hume’s idea is – and I count myself in that group – his saying it shouldn’t be a problem. The Constitution doesn’t deny freedom of speech to congenital idiots, even (or due directly to) using Faux News as their media of choice. Besides, of all the swill Fox has peddled over the years this is innocuous stuff. Hume pontificating about Christianity to the Fox audience is like preaching to the choir.

Many people objected to what the Humidor said because they perceived it as dissing other religions in favor of Christianity. That may be true, but it’s an opinion not unlike Muslims dissing Hume, so we’re talking angels dancing on the heads of tiny little crucifixes. Making it sound like Christianity has cornered the market on forgiveness and redemption may be misleading, but I suspect that Hume has only a cursory knowledge of other religions and is more ignorant than willful. Certainly, that issue affects all religions and atheists too. For the most part, you are what you know.

But, ponder this: If Tiger had any interest in leading a pious life would he be where he is now? My guess is that Tiger radically changing anything is nil. In fact, the carrot Hume put on the end of his stick simply plays into Tiger’s demons.

I’ve known quite a number of people who were, well, assholes for much of their life. They screwed as many of their common brethren as possible and laughed about it all the way to the bank, jail, or country club. However, come walk to the light time, they seize on Christianity’s Get Out of Hell provision like the last life jacket on the Andrea Doria. They see the light and they, along with many other believers, sing hallelujah. To be fair, some practitioners might see the ruse and argue that since the deathbed repentance may be virgin fluff sacrificed to a righteous God it doesn’t count. Off to eternal hellfire and damnation! It’s not good to poke God in the eye with a stick.

At the end of the day, Hume can say anything he wants. Even 48 inch, HD, flat-screens have off buttons. Tiger will still be able to take or turn down Hume’s advice as he sees fit. Approximately zero people will be affected by what Hume says or by Tiger’s actions. It’s really no one else’s business other than their own.

Now, can we go back on the mistress hunt? It’s just starting to get juicy.

Related Articles

• Hume Decries Persecution By Critics, Reiterates It Would Be ‘Magnificent’ To ‘Witness’ Tigers Woods’ Conversion (thinkprogress.org)
• Ellis Weiner: My Message of Redemption for Brit Hume (huffingtonpost.com)
• Brit Hume speaks, again (washingtonmonthly.com)
• Hume Claims He’s not Proselytizing While Still Proselytizing (videocafe.crooksandliars.com)
• Brit Hume Confuses Faith and Religion on Tiger Woods (usnews.com)
• Hume on Tiger Woods, no big deal (powerlineblog.com)