I Know How Copernicus Must Have Felt


NICOLAUS COPERNICUS – 21st Century man.

I know how Copernicus must have felt.  He’s the fellow who first posited that the Sun, and not Earth, was at the center of the universe. For his trouble he was branded a heretic and ostracized by the Catholic church. It turns out Nicolaus was right and the Pope, not so much. It’s a familiar story. It has legs. It’s still happening at the hands of the far right ignorati.

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How Many Secularists and Non-Secularists Can Dance on the Head of a Pin?

Poobah Self Disclosure: I’m an atheist. You may be a Christian…not that there’s anything wrong with that.

America is an unhappy place these days. Opposing forces not only bludgeon each other bloody, but as Mitch McConnell recently announced, they make it a political priority to wipe out their opposition like Genghis Kahn scorching the earth of the steppes. Nowhere is this fighting as pointless and picayunish as in the Secular v. Non Secular Death Cage Match.

As a rule of thumb Republicans are the logical home of the stupidly religiously zealous. Folks like the Family Research Council, Glenn Beck, and loopy Michele Bachmann trumpet vuvuzela the superiority of the God-ed while practicing the most shockingly unchristian behavior against the ungod-ed. Even their captive audience of soft-headed, opportunistic political drones have trouble with them – especially when they stop donating money and votes.

The religious zealots have a huge David and Goliath thing going on. “Dear God, give me a slingshot and guide mine rock into the eye of my Godless oppressors, the libruls.”

But fundamentalists have no lock on the asshat zealot market. Stop by a Jesus Freakery and read the comments. Go to a Atheisterie and the words seem plagiarized from the same source, “You’re a know-nothing asshole who’s a traitor intent on wiping out what crumbs of democracy we still have left.”

And one more similarity. Almost all the over the top bloviation mentions how much anyone who disagrees is some sort of hate-filled, brainless zot – as though we’re all Little Georgie Shrubs.

Most Christians are reasonably sane and the same goes for the secular crowd. All the reasonable ask is a bit of wiggle room because they’re entitled to it. They want to go to church (or not), put up the occasional Christmas Holiday tree (or not), and be safe from the incessant yawping of people who would staple the 10 commandments to everyone’s forehead or consign religious gatherings to a dank cellar with the lights turned out – sort of an ecumenical Gitmo.

But out there on the dark edge of Firebase Freedom lurk nuts to the left of us and nuts to the right of us, as unreasonably pissed about the, “In God We Trust” motto as they are by the, “Christians über alles and the hell with anyone else” brigade.

The balance between freedom of religion and freedom from religion is delicate and a very narrow gap. One person’s “absolute” freedom is another’s horrible shackle.

As with all Constitutional rights, we don’t get to vote on them or change them at will to suit our fancy. However, there’s nothing wrong with a legitimate argument about where the line lays. But, meanness for the sake of meanness is meaningless, rude, and counter-productive.

So everyone, let’s kiss and make up so we can go back to something important, like hating Congress and the President.

You know, something useful.

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The Time for Asking is Past, the Time for Telling is Now

Dead is Dead Regardless of Sexual Preference

THE TOMB OF THE UNKNOWN GAY - If a gay soldier is shot down in the forest and no one is around to ask if he's gay, does he die straight?

The Dems are scrambling this week to repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT) before the electorate shows them the door. It’s a sad commentary that they should even need to rush to afford citizens the rights to which they are clearly entitled under the Constitution. It’s sadder still that the most useless piece of legislative garbage to ever come out of Congress was enacted to begin with and that it’s repeal hangs by a thread now.

Over the years homosexuality has been blamed for all manner of things without a grain of truth rooted in reality. First, there was the “all homos are pedophiles” argument. Then, there was the, “they’ll reduce the military to a bunch of sniveling, whining, fear-crazed Jello molds who fear being ogled in the showers” argument. Over at the WestBigot Baptist Church – a place so loopy even Ann Coulter thinks they’re crazy – they don’t even bother with justifications, just “smite them because God tells me so” – but apparently not the same God the Constitution alludes to:

Rights Are Endowed by Your Creator Dammit!
“We hold these truths to be self-evident: That all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness…”

Now comes the drivel from the Family Research Council (FRC), that allowing gays to serve in the military is going to cause a wave of rape to sweep through the ranks. Fine upstanding heterosexual men might be fellated while they sleep or have their backsides tenderly probed while standing in line at the mess hall.

Dear God! Can the End Times be far off?!

THE MEANING OF DADT - "Shut up and pretend to be straight for your country."

The FRC certainly seems to be right on top of this whole “gay thing”, probably because many of them are gay, afraid of becoming gay, in the process of being “cured” of being gay, or bi-confused about the whole thing. Just ask George “Rentboy” Rekers. As a group they appear to be as straight as a dog’s hind leg – and just as wet from pissing themselves.

Remove the Penises From Your Ears
So for those who still need to have the penises cleared from their ears, hear this:

  1. There is zero evidence that gays and the military are incompatible. Nearly every industrialized country on the planet has gays in the military and operate quite well, thankyewvurymuch.
  2. You are as free to hate gays as they are entitled to their Constitutionally-defined, God given right to serve in the military. Their doing so, in no way, interferes with your right to practice a religion or anything else for that matter.
  3. Despite Rick Santorum‘s protests to the contrary, being gay doesn’t infect you with an unquenchable desire to fellate puppies.
  4. The troops of the US military are brave professionals. To suggest they will somehow run away from homosexuals like little girls on a playground is not only ludicrous, but quite frankly insulting – you might even say unpatriotic. If the repeal of DADT causes the military to fall apart, we’ve been spending a lot of money on a military that is so ineffective as to be not much more than a gang of well-armed thugs – not unlike the Afghan military come to think of it.

But finally, there is this. Gays have been in the military since man first raised armies to kill each other. They are there today. So if you believe gays are such a clear and present danger, please answer this:

Is a soldier any less gay because you didn’t ask and he didn’t offer to tell you?

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