When You Lay Down With the Pigs You Get Muddy

Markets React to Debt

3, 2, 1...LAUNCH! - Despite their claims the debt is a myth, astonished Tea Partiers watch as their truth comes in contact with reality

John Boehner, see what happens when you jump in the pigsty and wallow with the biggest, baddest sow around? Mud, as it turns out, sticks.

In the last election, you cozied up to the Teabaggers with a wink, wink, nudge, nudge confidence that the GOP Old Guard could control those over-exuberant pups on a double caffeine tea jag. You won back the House, but now you’re caught by the balls between a cup of Morning Thunder tea and a crate of tea bags.

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Eric Cantor: Whatever Happened to ‘Compassionate Conservatives’?

Cantor the Clown

COMPASSIONATE CONSERVATIVE? - Eric Cantor is obviously not one of 'The Good Hands People'..

We the people of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Wise words. Words that set the US apart from all other nations when written, but teetering dangerously close to losing their meaning today. The idea of shared beliefs that translate into shared pain and generosity do little to “promote the general Welfare” today. We’ve become a nation of skinflints and screamers whose idea of sharing is limited to how to get a 110% refund on our taxes while using services those taxes are designed to build and “promote (for) the general welfare”. We’ve become 311 million independent nationettes that use the few remaining examples of “the Blessings of Liberty” to ruin any trace of importance in the words, “we”, “common”, “ourselves”, or “our”.

My opponents often remind me that, in their opinion, I’m not one of “the people”. But since I escaped Michele Bachmann’s FEMA-run concentration camps and allowed myself to be counted in the census – I like to think I’m citizen 311,382,611, with a valid long-form birth certificate and everything, BTW  – I believe I’m entitled to join the exclusive club of US citizens whether I believe in health care, religious freedom, or speaking to your Muslim neighbors is the thing to do or not. So here’s my two cents worth:

I’m appalled at House Majority Leader Eric Cantor’s (R-Obstructistan) demand that aid for families lashed by two of the worst tornado outbreaks on record must wait while Congress argues over whether oil company aid or health care should be cut to balance the budget.

This is not how a nation supposedly “ordained and established” as a “perfect union” behaves. It’s how a despot owned and operated country in the throes of the Arab Spring acts. And it is disgraceful.

Yes, we are a nation with big problems – problems partially caused by many of the same people who spent us into the hole and now trumpet no taxes uber alles I might add. We do need some government reorganization with more transparent accountability and proper authority. We do need to set spending priorities more in line with our “shared” needs. We do need to cut spending. All of that is inarguable. But should these victims of acts of nature be forced to sit in their heavily mortgaged piles of rubble without the help of their 311 million neighbors, regardless if they live in the heartland of Tea Party fever and Cantorian nonsense?

I think not. Let’s come together to make this the American Spring before zealotry, hyper-partisanship, and incompetence violates our”established and ordained” prescription to “insure domestic tranquility”, before we become de facto members of the Arab Spring.

That is what “we the people” were “ordained” to do.

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Lawmakers Consider Alternative Plan to Break Budget Impasse

Black Sheep

OUCH - A staffer for Speaker of the House John Boehner shows reporters how the sheep will be sacrificed as he leaves budget negotiations at the White House.

Washington – Details of a secret Congressional plan to break the long-standing deadlock in budget negotiations leaked out Thursday. US lawmakers are considering the use of an unorthodox method favored by the Kyrgyzstani Parliament – sacrificial sheep.

Although Kyrgyzstanis use it for banishing the twin devils of ethnic strife and revolution, Kyrgyzstani oil lobbyist Zhogorku Kenesh said the ritual could be redesigned for US budget purposes for as little as KGS 7 billion Kyrgyzstani som and an arranged lesbian marriage of President Obama’s eldest daughter Malia Ann Obama to Kyrgyz President Roza Otunbayeva.

The initial proposal, offered by Republicans, called for 6 sheep to be slaughtered and placed on a huge altar recently dedicated at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library and Museum in Simi Valley, CA. However, the proposal immediately met resistance from members of the Republican’s own Christian conservative wing.

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