You Know Why They Hate Us?

Behead the Man Who Insulted Our Religion

MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough created a controversy on Monday by suggesting Muslims and Arabs protesting the infamous, and infamously bad, anti-Islamic video hate America because of their religion and culture. “You know why they hate us?” he said. “They hate us because of their religion, they hate us because of their culture, and they hate us because of peer pressure. And you talk to any intelligence person, they will tell you that’s the same thing, and all those people who think we’re going to go over there and change them are just naive.”

Joe is specifically blaming Islamic religion and Arab culture, which isn’t necessarily true, but there are some connections – just not the type he’s suggesting. Before throwing his baby out with the bathwater, consider this:

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Lara Logan Treated Just Like Any Other Rape Victim

Lara Logan

CASUALTY OF 'WAR' - CBS journalist Lara Logan was savagely attacked during the Egyptian protests. Several weak-kneed, state side journalists and pundits chose to put the blame for the attack on her. In other words, treat her like any other rape or abuse victim.

The fallout over the sexual attacks and violent abuse of journalist Lara Logan continues apace. Several pusillanimous stateside journalists and pundits – who no doubt would go jelly-kneed on a quiet day as a war correspondent hanging out at the bullet-riddled revetment – felt compelled to tell Logan, “Well, it’s your own damn fault! What the hell were you doing in a huge crowd of wannabe Muslim terrorists anyway?”

Um, she would be covering the news – just like men and just like dozens of other women. Just like – oh God, I hate to say this – Fox News reporters. Going into danger is what war correspondents do. They do it so the folks back home have information. It’s the nature of their jobs and because of it you terrorist-trembling wussies get to know at least some of what’s going on in the world outside the Rush Limbaugh/Sean Hannity Faux Terrordome.

Journalists in general have a bad rep these days. Some of it deserved, much of it not so much. Even covering the local election for the local waste district board is cause to call out the reporter from the Podunk Post as a slanted, biased asshat, despite the very words he reported appearing on the ubiquitous video machine for all to see. Being any kind of reporter is a thankless job and despite the whining of all the ideologists, an essential part of keeping democracy democratic.

War journalists have a tougher job. No matter how hard they try, it’s difficult to stay objective when they’re lied to a hundred times a day, getting their ass shot off, or suddenly finding themselves alone in a rampaging crowd.

It’s true Logan was in a place most sane people wouldn’t voluntarily be in. However, she was working for you – directly for you. Without her and her colleagues some of you couldn’t be as voluntarily and selectively stupid as you are now. Even those who care about what happens in the world would be flying blind – and that’s not good for anyone.

It would be a good and moral thing to at least treat her like any other human being who’s been attacked deserves. Give her support, or at the very least, STF up about it.

And don’t blame the ‘media’ for reporting her story to keep it alive either. It’s a valid story in its own right, having zero to do with her attractiveness, and should be reported to highlight just how bad conditions in war-torn countries can be.

Now is the time for the fraidy-frickin’ cats to drop their cowardly attacks on a woman who has gone through hell and back. They should treat her just like any other sexually and physically assaulted woman…or man.

Here’s to hoping the same misfortune doesn’t steamroll you one day.

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Wanted: One Dictator Stupid Enough to Take the Job

Hang Mubarak

EGYPTIANS “MIFFED” – Hosni, I don’t think they’re kidding anymore.

Hosni Mubarak does the “Dick-Tater Shuffle” in the Presidential Pyramid as the protesters call for his head outside. His solution? “Step down (someday)”…for the second time. It’s a sort of “let them eat cake”, or more correctly, “let them eat my ass” moment.

Everyone, except perhaps Hos, knows he’s a dead man walking. Before poking the crowd in the eye, they were still feeling magnanimous enough to let him stay in the country. As a back up, the Saudi’s told him he could bunk with them in case the proles got too hot. Now all bets are off. He’ll be lucky to reach the outskirts of Cairo with his head still on his shoulders.

Hos, everyone knows to take door Number 1 when you get the chance. You might lose that beautiful Yugo behind Door 3, but your $49 Southwest plane ticket to Invisibleville is a damn sight more valuable when people want your skin to upholster the Barcalounger in the man cave.

Why Would You Want the Job?
All of this brings to mind a question I’ve always asked myself when the inevitable happens to the strongman du jour…Why the hell would anyone want the job anyway?

SAY CHEEZE!- After the frat mixer, George and Hos became BFFs.

Sure, Mubarak seems to have amassed enough money to give Bill Gates a hard-on, $2-70 billion by some guestimates. Yeah, Idi Amin got to eat people-en-croute. Heck, Saddam Hussien got to gas his own people. I get the whole “fun” part of being a dictatorial psychopath.

But what happens when the fun dies? The people – who dictators always take in the sense of ownership – get a little tired of mud and gruel stew and lash out.

The end-game is always the same. Mr. Tyrant makes some speeches telling the good folk of Fuckedupistan to calm down or he’ll cut their Johnsons off and stuff them down their pie holes.

The people, understandably, get a little touchier and he sends in the army to put them down with extreme prejudice.

Next, the army either turns on the tyrant when they smell blood or the crowd gets a collective backbone and rushes the palace. Either way is very bad juju.

Lastly, the dictator finds himself doing the shuffle at the end of a rope, or escaping by the skin of his teeth only to be turned away from every country on Earth where having billions would be fun. Only grayscale hell holes like North Korea will have them. Crikies, even the Number One Son had to leave that guano bucket to get laid.

Grab a Dictator High Life
This all seems like a bad bet for any erstwhile Leader for Life. Even if you beat the odds and stay in power for 30-plus years like Mubarak, your days are still numbered. The only question is by how many.

If all you’re really interested in is living the high life and abusing those lower on the totem pole, grab some lawyers and do a hostile takeover of CitiBank. You’ll get all the perks with none of the downside – other than pesky Congressmen who scold you before meeting you for drinks on your tab. Not a bad day’s work and no one tries to assasinate you.

On the other hand, even CEOs occasionally come out on the short end of the stick.

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