David Moeller | The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

TRIPPING ALL OVER HIMSELF - Russian Alexander Tretyakov finds out the hard way that there's a reason they call his event the "skeleton".

The Thrill of Victory, the Agony of Da Feet

“And the silver metal for the 500 meter Dumbass Race goes to DAVID MOELLER!”
You do have to admit, it’s more physically demanding than curling.
“…and the well-equipped team from Germany is poised to take the gold.”
Suddenly, the Canadian team found it was a bad idea to bring the cheerleaders along.
Curling was a new event for them, but the Japanese team was out to prove they were a force to be reckoned with.
Frank always felt a little dirty after watching figure skating.
Look at the gold on Lindsay!

Robots in Search of a Reason

Where the hell was this droid when we were trying to top China in the Olympic ping pong event?
Sure, these robots are cool if by cool you mean elf-lords with thick glasses and pocket protectors.
Bottoms up, it’s the Android Olympics.
I’m flabbergasted. There are “cons” to a robot army?

Consumerism: The Oil for Humanity’s Third Wheels

Was it not enough to have your ex-girlfriend’s name tattooed on your chest by Spike, your cellmate at San Q.?
The perfect accessory to go with your Flobee.
http://mwaaaahhh-ha-ha.com.
Watch your “As Seen on TV” product appear on TV“.
I hear the Duck Fetus Egg Grand Slam at Denny’s is superb.
I mean really, who DOESN’T need a spare cat in case of emergency?
Buster found it was a great rug until he tugged at one of the strings.
You should see the ones at the Big & Tall Men’s shop.
PETA would be so proud.
Bill and Janet bought the green whip because they only wanted to hurt each other, not the environment.
You can catch more flies with honey hummus.

What the Hell is Wrong With People?

No shit?!
Susan Sarandon is one klassy broad.
John always held to the quite sane view that he would never put anything more flammable than a Q-Tip in his ear.
Defibrillators do seem like a sane move in a country filled with rich, fat, white bankers when you come to think about it.
As airlines go, Air Canada’s “no-stink” policy was a bit draconian.
“Yeah, we gotta bun, some mustard, and an app for that.”
Yeah, I agree. I wouldn’t ask and hope Bill O’Reilly wouldn’t tell.
In his research, Professor Bob was never amazed by the broad spectrum of sexual fetishes he found at the Hush Puppy store.
CNN – The World’s Most Kinky Network.
Orly only went to the UN after asking the Obama administration for asylum. Oddly, they didn’t agree.

COPS! Live with the Men and Women of Law Enforcement

Warrant? Warrant”? We don’t need no stinkin’ warrant.
Two more condoms and they would’ve had to use an actual mule to carry the drugs.
It may stop bullets, but you can kick it over pretty easily.
Man bites dog. Apparently, too much Starbucks coffee is to blame.
“Bacon rustlers strike British pub! Film at 11!”
It was just another 2 am at the Waffle House.

Nowhere Else to Go

Japan, Land of the Weirdly Rising Sun

OLYMPIC BLOW JOB - The thanks of a greatful nation are bestowed upon bronze medal-winner Scotty Lago.

The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!