DOWN SIMBA! DOWN! - Clearly, Republicans were quite unhappy with the Obama health care bill and wanted to show it. Click photo for more.

Leisure Time Around the World

• Sperm training in preparation for a big Friday night of racing action at Pamela’s house.
• SAF looking for SAM with a good personality and hot for a girl who looks like she’s just come out of a anime comic.
• If I bellied up to the bar to find my lady had a tramp stamp saying, “Ronald Wilson Reagan 1911 to 2004” I might be forced to call off the date immediately.
• True Story: I once served Alpo horse meat canapes at a party. I did this mostly because I couldn’t find any cat stew.
• Aye, whut a load ah blarney.
• Ten men tried out to be Kate Gosselin’s partner on Dancing With the Stars, but sadly, only one would make the cut.
• Wait, he made £90,000 a year and he uses Naugahyde instead of real leather?
• Donna was always an over-achiever who wouldn’t give up until she made her goal.
• Evelyn, would it have killed you to pray for a Big Mac with Double Cheese?
• Everything went fine until Tiger’s wife caught him pissing on some other trollop’s tee.
• Perhaps Sandra Bullock should have gone with a more artful type than Jesse James.
• Despite Austria’s success in allowing gays to serve in the military, Republicans still feared the prospect of man-on-dog sex.
• The proper pronoun may be a little fuzzy, but we can all agree that is one ugly humanoid.
• Every time he saw the picture, Jose Feliciano got a hard-on.
• It’s not a case of ability, but it’s a damned fine case of questionable  need.
• Why can’t Democrats be like this?
• George, that’s just how Lady GaGa says hello.
• This seems a bit harsh, but then I’m the “she can do better” guy.
• Last week, a new theory entered the Intelligent Design vs. Darwinism debate.
• You read it here first. Ronald Regan was a serial abuser.
• Meteorology was the sexiest of the scientific disciplines.

Techno-Pop

• This whole my iPod can kick your iPod’s ass techno-machismo simply has to stop!
• Yet another idea to prove that Keynesians really were quite daft.
• Turn up the lights, I can’t hear you!
• It’s the old argument, are you a Mac or a PC? Now, there’s a way to tell.

Everything’s Weird Under the Eyes of the Law

• Bringing new meaning to the term “cowgirl“, Connorsville, Wisconsinites say it’s illegal for a man to shoot a gun while his female partner has an orgasm. No word yet on whether it’s OK if it’s same sex shooting.
• There’s always someone who’s unclear on the concept.
• The lights were low. Soft music tinkled in the air. It was just magic, so Lee decided to just go for it.
• In his defense, Charles thought it was an exceptionally good idea at the time.
• Thomas, this is just not cool. When you had the urge, why didn’t you call your Jenny Craig diet buddy?
• “Well of course, but I’ve had a big pair of balls since I was a child,” Grandma Betty “Scarface” Ritolla said.
• If the thing was big enough to be a “dangerous weapon”, he should be working as a pornstar instead of a cop?
• Was that “producing a controlled substance” or producing a controlled orgasm”?
• Every kid needs a positive role model in their life.
• Quityerbitchin, he could have used staples.
• Nitinkuma was new to this country, so his ideas on how to pick up girls needed a little work.

Leaving You Wondering What Capitalists Got for Their Money

OUTTA MY WAY! - It seemed as if Sandy was destined for a life of really long, really expensive therapy. Click photo for more.

• Stop by Butt Drugs, your place for Preparation H.
• Call 911! Call 911! OMFG, she’s about to blooooow!
• With his unique skill set, Milton hoped he’d find a job for which he was totally qualified…and then he logged on to Monster.
• Um, yeah. Not funny.
• You can’t get your man to close the lid and you expect him to build a altar to the Piss Gods?
• If you’re close enough to see this, I’m ready Baby.
• I hate to say it, but with some beans and a nice sauerkraut, I can make my own for just pennies on the dollar.
• Bakon Vodka – combining the dangers of alcoholism with the threat of clogged arteries. Where are the salt Nazis when you need them?
• Harvard biomedical engineer David Edwards has discovered a cure for the common crave. Surely the world will be a better place for it.
• What?! These didn’t look stupid enough on someone’s face?
• And we want to know why we have an insurance crisis in this country.
• I hear they’re very popular at all the fashionable Republican watering holes.

Japan, O Why Do We Worship Thee?

• Baseball has been berry, berry good to me. (Mock, Paper, Scissors)
• There are things the Japanese do that simply defy logic. This is one of them.
• Britney’s Japanese tour went fine until she violated Etiquette Rule No. 7 – Don’t wear your toilet slippers back to your seat. But truth be told, she didn’t wear any to the toilet in the first place.
• Iron Chef Morimoto found it was an exciting night in Kitchen Stadium’s refrigerator.
• Data accidentally came upon Ensign Wesley Crusher as he was doing a micro-construction project.
• The dude on the right looks like he’s testing it out as they speak.

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