The new conservative battle cry is that the upper classes are under attack by a mob of have somes and have nots carrying pitchforks and looking for the closest Gulfstream or mega-million bonus to pillage. But, if there’s a class war going on the poor have clearly lost. The only “war” left is for the victors to scorch the earth from the backs of the Four Horses of the Apocalypse so those damn welfare recipients don’t rise up and steal a government-subsidized, agribusiness produced loaf of bread from the banquet inside the palace.
It’s tempting to think the apacalyptoes are all about simple greed and avarice – just poor little schmoes who feel the need to waggle their tiny dicks in the face of mankind.
People of Nevada, I feel your pain. I get it. Really I do. It’s not like Harry Reid has been worth much as Senate leader and I’m sure he’s sucked just as bad as your personal Senator. But fer Chrissakes, couldn’t you come up with someone to run against him other than Sharron Angle? Someone respectable, you know smart and cultured – I’m thinking Rush Limbaugh.
BACK IN BLACK - Crusader for Merging of Church and State, Sharron Angle, once argued the color black was evil...however, not so evil as to avoid wearing it herself.
Angle is so spectacularly bad as a candidate and – well, let’s face it – quasi-sentient being that she actually makes The Grizzly Whisperer™ look like a genius. If you elect this woman to anything, much less the US Senate, your license plates will have to say, “Welcome to Nevada, the Moron State” as a matter of truth in advertising. And that’s saying something when you’re up against the competition from Texas and Arizona. I mean those people are real pros.
An Idiot That Keeps on Giving
Nary a day goes by that Over-Sharin’ Sharron doesn’t do or say something stupid. Reporters should only ask the questions she wants to hear and write stories that only she can approve. She thinks God called her to run for Senate, proving once again that God should hire a much better class of PR flaks for his domain. She doesn’t believe in the separation of church and state and accuses Democrats of being in violation of the First Amendment Commandment. Gadzooks Nevandans!
I’ve always believed that to be a success in life you shouldn’t compare yourself to others, but use a personal yardstick to compare yourself to what you are capable of. Angle clearly has some sort of weird metric mojo going on when it comes to her personal yardstick.
Case in point : She denies it now, but back in 1992 she came out foursquare against the scourge of black. Not black as in African American (although she doesn’t seem like a BFF of them either). Not black as in Black Friday. Not even – to employ a Nevadaism – blackjack. No, Sharron Angle is against black…the color. Specifically, the color of football jerseys at Tonopah High.
It’s evil. It’s close to sacrilege she said of a move to change the school’s jerseys to red. So evil in fact that she agitated to have the change repealed, the jerseys seized and put under lock and key, and the kids who bought them left holding the bag because the school wouldn’t reimburse them.
I suppose we could infer from this that Sharron would lead the charge against all sorts of other “colorism” too.
The Amish Are Evil
Priests and ministers would have to exorcise their black vestments. Amish folks would have to wear hot pink (because we all know what raving, hell-raising devil-worshipers they are). Black Flag insecticide would be verboten and the Oakland Raiders banned from the football field – although some would think that an improvement.
I’m used to politicians saying and doing stupid things. It is what they do and you can expect a certain amount of that from the sheer volume of hogswallop they spew. Talk enough and you’re bound to look like a goob occasionally. It’s an occupational hazard. But I’m aghast to say she easily snatches the Scepter of Stupidity from Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann. Even the unholy Troika of Trolldom, Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, and all the Fox News blondie bubbleheads rolled into one, run a distant second.
So people of Nevada, take mercy on the rest of us. Harry’s worthless, but at least he’s emasculate. Sharron is so stupid she might even figure out how to be dangerous – although I admit I may be giving her mental powers more credit than they deserve. Don’t elect this pinhead. We already have enough trouble as it is. Good God, Newt Gingrich might even make a comeback and that would be worse than a lifetime supply of Glenn Beck reruns!
Elect Sharron Angle and it will be a black day for us all.
DIAPERMAN – Vitter needs to look at himself before buying into rumor-mongers like the Birthers. That whole diaper fetish thing may come back to haunt him.
There are only a handful of people in Congress that can compare to Rep. Michele Bachman (R-WTFistan) for sheer, willful igrnorance and buffoonery, but right at the top of the short list has to be Sen. David Vitter (R-Asshatylvania).
Vitter answered a question from an Orly Taserer over the weekend about Barack Obama’s, “refusal to produce a valid birth certificate.” Rather than just saying “it’s already been settled” and rolling his eyes like any sane person, Vitter provided an answer as slick as Lousiana’s best BP crude. The answer simultaneously proved he knows the correct answer, is a-skeered of some his own inbred constituents, and has mastered the age-old technique of all charlatans – flinging guano at someone else so as not to get any on their own shoes.
No, he said he supports “conservative legal organizations and others who would bring that to court. I think that is the valid and most possibly effective grounds to do it.” In other words, “I ain’t sayin’ it’s true, but it’s a mighty interestin’ question.”
Is Vitter a Birther by Birth?
He provided some additional cover for himself by saying, “I think if we focus on that issue and let our eye off the ball … I think that’s a big mistake.” Which
BRING IN THE CLOWNS! - David Vitter apparently looks up to Orly Taitz as a paragon of sense and rationality.
is another way of saying, “I told ‘em harpin’ on the issue was a ‘big mistake’ (right after I told ‘em they should keep the rumor ball goin’).” And just to hedge his bets, his office isn’t returning calls to answer the direct question of whether he is a birther himself.
Pretty slick for a world-class idiot.
You’d think Vitter would shy away from fueling patently untrue rumors. He’s been a victim of them himself. But perhaps that’s giving the dunderdick more credit than he’s due.
A few years back, Mr. Family Values’ name came up on the client list of DC Madam, Deborah Palfrey. Almost immediately rumors began to spread that Mr. Vitter occasionaly stopped by Palfrey’s House of the Rising Republicans to partake in a little diaper play – presumably because Mrs. Vitter found him childish enough without being his sexual wet nurse too.
A Stance as Wide as All Outdoors
It was a believable enough rumor, I mean you could profile the guy like a zany senator with a stance so wide it spreads across two stalls in the pissoir. It just seemed like the sort of thing he’d do – which is precisely why Vitter had such a tough time putting the rumor to rest.
It really doesn’t matter whether he likes his nappies changed by a professional. It is, after all, personal behavior which is his own business, much like homosexual conduct is personal business (but that’s a whole other post). You’d think he’d remember how you can get sucked into rumors and have your reputation sullied by half denials and your opponents’ obfuscations.
Vitter could use some advice, so here it is:
People who live in rubber rooms shouldn’t throw stones.
TICKLE ME ERIC - Constituents line up for a turn in the tickle pit with former Rep. Eric Massa. Massa says charges that he engaged in homosexual conduct are lies perpetrated by Sen. Harry Ried (D-Spinelessylvania). However, the unidentified man in the kilt explained that he and the Congressman were merely trying to determine what a Scottsman wears under his kilt.
Rep. Eric Massa (D-East Gayberstan) is at the center of one of those train wrecks in which the person caught doing something stupid tries to save himself by fanning the flames.
The facts of the Congress-o-loon’s fall from grace are straight forward enough, but the legs, pace, and complexities of the unraveling stories aren’t. Ostensibly, Massa allegedly tickled and made sexual advances toward staff members of the opposite marrying kind (H/T to Carrie Prejean and her marvelous language skills). It’s unclear if the “victims” consented or not.
But, consent doesn’t matter and neither did Larry King asking him if he was gay. If he yearns to slap and tickle a co-dude, then more power to him. That’s between him and the ticklee. It’s a common enough fetish, for both gays and straights.
At this point, had Massa simply said, “You know what, I’m stupid,” everything would have been OK. But instead, he chose to tell a story about fellow Dems forcing him out because he wanted to vote against healthcare reform. Dodging the spotlight by turning it on yourself is hardly a brilliant damage control strategy – but he plowed on like the Titanic.
He told the story. Then, he retracted it.
Then, he told it again.
Then, he retracted it again.
Rinse and repeat.
Beck had the misfortune to interview Massa somewhere about here. By this time the air was so thick with innuendo, conflicting stories, and untruths that even a master of subterfuge and obfuscation, like Beck, couldn’t make sense of it.
New stories are now surfacing that he participated similar recreational activities in the Navy and I’m sure there’ll be more edits and multiple retractions to that story. It’s as thin as Larry Craig‘s infamous wide stance. Massa could say, “The sky is blue,” and no one would believe him now.
Massa has exceptionally poor critical thinking skills and a penchant to compensate with even more lackluster critical thinking skills. In short, he’s an imbecile and NY is well-shed of him. At this point, replacing Massa with Jim Bunning would be an improvement and I wouldn’t vote for him as Douchebag-in-Chief, despite his obvious world-class qualifications and experience.
Eric, for the love of God, shut up before you get yourself in more trouble.
The new conservative battle cry is that the upper classes are under attack by a mob of have somes and have nots carrying pitchforks and looking for the closest Gulfstream or mega-million bonus to pillage. But, if there’s a class war going on the poor have clearly lost. The only “war” left is for the victors to scorch the earth from the backs of the Four Horses of the Apocalypse so those damn welfare recipients don’t rise up and steal a government-subsidized, agribusiness produced loaf of bread from the banquet inside the palace.
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