The Convictions of the Convinced: Don’t Count the Republicans Out Yet

Republicans are crazy

The convictions of the convinced are dangerous. Democratic conventional wisdom is that Republican alienation of almost every voter block in the nation, including many of their own, makes for a Dem sweep in the next cycle. Don’t count your votes before they’re cast, especially when Republicans are jacking voting laws at will.

The Republicans aren’t just in a civil war, they’re nuking, chemically attacking, and hand-to-hand combatting each other. The rest of the country is collateral damage. The only thing they all agree on is “this crazy shit’s gotta stop” as they do the craziest shit imaginable.

Tea Partiers have the mistaken impression the country is no longer “center right”, but somewhere to the right of Genghis Khan. They pull right like a Model T with a missing wheel. Meanwhile, the rest of the country pulls left like a car needing an alignment job. The country is becoming center/center as a response to the extremism of the Grand Old (Tea) Partiers and it’s an ever-quicker shift. The result: the Teas think everyone else is a communist while everyone else thinks they are bat-shit crazy.

I have two guiding principles. Never try to speak rationally to the irrational and never underestimate the power of lunatics in large groups. Therein lies the danger in Democrats believing that showing up to watch the Republicans go all NRA on themselves and do a Columbine is enough.

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The Bible According to Tea Partiers

Gallery

Blessed are those who love their Bible, but hate the poor: 3 revisions Tea Party style. Continue reading

Small Government: One Small Fly in the Ointment

Small Government

A BIG LITTLE PROBLEM - Sometimes it's amazing just how big small government can be

Conservatives – especially their tea partying faction – are yelling, “Hell no! We won’t grow!” in their quest for government with a microscopic “G”. Their biggest quibble with St. Ronnie of Reagan’s government isn’t the solution, it’s the problem mantra was that he didn’t lay off the entire government (except for a staggeringly expensive, ass-kicking military…and it’s associated contractors and arms makers) and outsource everything to the states, or preferably, India by way of multinational conglomerates.

I suspect they’ll be getting a rude awakening soon. They’ll find it next to impossible to fight the strong running political tide, agree on what needs to be shed, or even agree on what small government means.

For example, arch-conservative Michele Bachmann wanted to prohibit earmarks only to find that, oops, her state wouldn’t get any money either. Suddenly her perception of pork changed in the face of angry voters who saw that Michele’s financial acumen was roughly equivalent to a high school home economics course in buying canned hams at rock bottom prices.

Solutions

SOLUTIONS - Ain't that the truth?

One man’s crumbling highway is another’s canned ham. Let those drivers give up the ham. They need to be put on the fiscally conservative South Beach Minnesota Diet. Same for those homeless people too by golly. It’ll be good for their no account goldbricking asses.

Conservatives never met a regulation they liked – unless it benefits them or is written by lobbyists. And one of the biggest government expenditures of all is creating and enforcing regulations. The baggers and Republi-Goobs are of a similar mind that only the private sector is smart enough to do anything – apparently ignoring that whole financial derivatives thing. But who’s counting.

So here’s an idea.

Regulations and regulators are a huge chunk of the budget, right? The Tax and Spend It All on Me Crowd frequently reminds us, usually in high-pitched squeaky voices, that the private sector is where smart, upstanding CEOs can do anything. They even have big paychecks to prove it.

Since the Supreme Activist Court (SACOTUS) took it upon themselves to give corporations Constitutional rights far and away more important than the rights of all individual citizens combined, it makes sense that corporations would be the very picture of responsible citizens in thanks. And smart as whips too.

So, corporations are just terrific, and honest, and thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent. We know this because Cryin’ John Boehner and the boys tell us so. So, how about we just trust them to do the right thing? No need to regulate when the free market unfailingly leads companies to the path of righteousness and honor.

We’d cut thousands of regulators in a jiffy. Legislators would have absolutely nothing to do except rubber stamp appropriations bills for the War du Jour. And lobbyists? Well, they’d become pro bono advisers to a micro-government that runs as smooth as BP oil rushing out of a broken wellhead. Yeah, THAT’S the ticket!

Um, only one small fly in the ointment on that one. Forget I mentioned anything.

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