“Are you now or have you ever been a member of the Communist Party?” harkens back to the bad old days when careers and lives were ruined by Tail Gunner Joe McCarthy, an alcoholic, demagogic Senator from Wisconsin. His bullying excesses become known as McCarthyism and he and his supporters caused far worse damage to the nation than the most evil of Communists ever did.
As tea parties have become the political force du jour, numerous stereotypes about them have formed. Of course, you can’t fairly profile every member of a tea party any more than you can profile all black men or every Muslim. However, you can generalize certain characteristics of these groups and still be on target (gun imagery intended) most of the time. So, if you’re a level-headed, sane member of a tea party, this post doesn’t apply to you. I’m talking to the Batshit Crazies. You’re excused to go to a Palin rally or a John Ashcroft concert or flag pin shopping or something.
Many teabaggers are irony-challenged. I’ve noticed that most of them are extremely sensitive to being called “teabaggers”, yet they object with language designed to insult anyone who used the word.
You Scum-Sucking Pootieheaded Liberal
The rant goes, “Clearly, you are full of hate,” followed by a string of invective heaved like a Molotov cocktail. The rants frequently contain a dozen or so supposedly hot button keywords like socialist, communist, or fascist (and for the last time get this straight, communism and fascism are diametrically opposed principles). Sometimes they even spew the two most dreaded epithets in the English language – fingers in your ears now if you’re squeamish – liberal and progressive.
At this point I borrow a word from the unabridged Dick Cheney International Dicktionary for an answer – “so”. I called you a teabagger, fully aware of the sexual meaning behind it. You were insulted, so it’s only fair to call me anything you want. I don’t mind. Really.
Teabaggers often ask – rhetorically I assume – if I know that everything uttered by The Messiah (I like to call him The Messiah because, you know, I insult him sometimes too) is a lie.
Yes, many things he says are untrue, just as it’s untrue to say everything he says is a lie. He shares this characteristic with every politician since the first Cro-Magnon wrote notes on her hand or stood before a teleprompter.
Bagglers often ask why I voted for Obama. For the record, I did.
Yet again, “so”.
John McCain: Critical Thinking Skills of a DonutI did it not because I expected I’d never hear him speak an untruth or because I was enamored by his policies. In fact, I’m not pleased with him now. I don’t defend him unless I think he does something right and that situation is unlikely to change. I voted for him and got pretty much what I expected TYVM.
But more importantly, I didn’t vote for McCain. His selection of the Moose Baby Momma showed me he had the critical thinking skills of a donut. Instead of just disagreeing with some of what he said, I disagreed with ALL of what he said. But the number one reason I voted against him is because he’s a cranky, vindictive, old fart whose skin is thinner than a condom and who would sell his mother if he thought it would get him elected.
Which brings us to the last irony for this post. Teabaggers swagger like Dubya. They’re tiresomely full of gun imagery, or in some cases, actual guns. They play the “bring it on” card in an attempt to scare people into submission. They boast that armageddon will come, born on the wings of angels and dropped like a commie bomb on Obamashima.
In this, they are the ideological successors to McTheusela and George Bush the Lesser. All the bluster and cowboysterism in the world doesn’t cover for the fact they’re afraid of nothing more than change.
Ironic, ain’t it?
- Q-Poll On Teabaggers: Disaffected Republicans Could Hurt GOP House Races (dailykos.com)
- The Fox News, Sarah Palin, L.L. Cool J charade (trueslant.com)
- Was This the ‘Critical Weekend’ for the Tea Partiers to Avoid the Smell of a ‘Bunch of Nuts’? (newsbusters.org)
- Running from the snarling white mobs (cbc.ca)
- Teabaggers: What is up with those freaks? (trueslant.com)
- Unreal Americans (crooksandliars.com)
The American right has a problem with the concept that Nazism is an extreme right-wing position and communism is an extreme left one, often leading them to claim Obama is both. (Note to Wing Nuts: Man up, pick the correct epithet, and stick with it will ya?)
Given this confusion, it isn’t surprising the party of the elephant that forgets everything has apparently gone so far right it’s preferred policies are now simpatico with some well-known leftist countries.
For proof of this 379 degree ideological turn, consider this:
- The godless commie mayor of Moscow agrees with Pat Robertson that holding a gay parade is a “satanic act“.
- The equally godless Red Chinese agree, going all Mao on a Mr. Gay China Pagent’s ass – which begs the question whether Mao was a pitcher or catcher – but that’s another post. It must be odd for Westboro Baptist Church members and opponents of gay marriage to wake up with an opposite-sex commie hogging all the covers in their arrow-straight connubial beds.
- And, it turns out the secret detentions and waterboarding so beloved by the American right are as left-leaning as the jailers at the former Soviet Union’s old Lubyanka Prison. St. Ronnie of Reagan must be turning in his Christians-only grave.
- Espionage may be a non-ideological activity, but what if this rumor about the Landrieu phone bugging is true? All those worker’s paradises were real big on the whole “let’s tap as many phones as we can” thing, just like our former Puffinstuff-in-Chief and, distressingly, The Messiah™.
With conservatives embracing so many communist positions, I’m worried for my country. What’s next, Mitch McConnell coming out in support of healthcare reform? Michael Steele quiting the Republicans to lead the Wobblies? Sarah Palin changing her school-marm do? It makes me question their patriotism and I’m left with only one shocking question.
Conservatives, as budding communists why do you hate America so much?
- DOSSIER: Illinois’ Gay Marriage Law a Ploy? … Delays By ELCA? … Straight Muslim’s Gay Movie Gig (queerty.com)
- NIMBY to the Hateful (coming to Silicon Valley!) (svmoms.com)
- Right-Wing Fearfest: Beck says ‘free speech is under attack,’ then Limbaugh tells him Obama brings ‘totalitarianism’ (crooksandliars.com)
- Robert Boston: The Most Dangerous Man in America? (mikedelongsantafe.blogspot.com)
- David Neiwert: Historians vs. Jonah Goldberg (huffingtonpost.com)
- Pat Robertson: Gays want to destroy marriage (bilerico.com)
- The Tim Tebow Super Bowl Ad: College Great Fumbles Before First Pro Snap (bleacherreport.com)
- Cronkite, Communist (talkingpointsmemo.com)