- More Environment Coverage from the Poobah (omnipotentpoobah.com)
- The Slow, Certain Death of the Global Warming Theory – Tea Party Nation (gds44.wordpress.com)
- Most Tea Partiers Don’t Believe in Global Warming (politicalwire.com)
- More people pay attention to Al Gore – credibility plummets (junksciencesidebar.com)
- Politics and Global Warming: Democrats, Republicans, Independents and the Tea Party (yubanet.com)
- Al Gore to Try Again (maboulette.wordpress.com)
- Al Gore’s Climate Conspiracy In 24-hour Broadcast With No Scientific Debate: Will Attempt To Convert Climate Skeptics Of Maurice Strong’s Climate Scheme. NASA Satellite Data Nullifies Global Warming Conspiracy. (politicalvelcraft.org)
- The Nonsensus: 97% to 98% of climate scientists believe in global warming? (junkscience.com)
The political winds have changed and our new leaders – and I use that term loosely – are spoiling for a fight over many things, including “proving” climate change isn’t real. For their part, the Democrats are equally committed to “proving” it is. It’s nice to see the Earth still holds its normal place in the galaxy.
But you know what? It doesn’t matter.
Each side likes to fool themselves into believing this is a fight over science. Both sides can muster colleges full of scientists who postulate one theory or another.
And you know what? It doesn’t matter.
Even though they all come equipped with an impressive – and sometimes not so impressive – array of bar charts and pie graphs and climatic studies, the truth is almost every one of those studies was paid for by some lobby or interest group. BP never saw a gushing black hole it didn’t like while environmental groups often advocate that if the problem isn’t resolved by next Wednesday, we’re all doomed. Whether you believe in global warming is more an ideological decision than a scientific one, regardless of which science is finally proven right.
And you know what? That doesn’t matter either.
The there’s the whole economic argument. One side says, “the economy is in the dumper. We can’t do anything now because we’ll lose jobs.” But then, that’s the same argument used when we’re in a depression or boom or bust or just hanging out waiting for some skeevy asscake of a banker to devise a new scheme to separate us from our money.
As my old Dad used to say, “Never do today what you can do tomorrow.”
Environmentalists would have us believe that all that new work in the green sector will almost immediately make up for any lost jobs. Unfortunately, economies don’t turn on a dime and I suspect that’s scant solace to a laid off coal miner who doesn’t know diddly about wind turbines, although he can tell you that if you point a mirror into the sun it gets hot as hell.
But does that matter? Um, no.
Dependence on foreign oil? “Bah,” says Big Dick Cheney, representatives from Texahoma, and all Exxonians, “we can pump enough oil to power everything and it’ll last indefinately – at least accoding to my contacts at the National Petroleum Inistitute.”
“Au contraire mon fraire,” say the anti-black gold folks. The oil is running out and drilling it will pollute every drop of ocean and every square inch of land in the country, especially in ANWAR. I think it’s up around that country Sarah Palin can see from her porch.”
That doesn’t matter either.
So far as I know, NO scientist, politician, economist, or just plain Joe the Plumber – except perhaps for the truly deranged – thinks wrapping their lips around a Hummer’s exhaust pipe is a good idea. I don’t know of anyone – other than Tony Hayward – who thinks that soothing oil bath in the Gulf helped shrimpers, fishermen, hoteliers, or snowy plovers.
We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Jobs
Jobs? The truth is some will go away, some will be created, and no one – least of all ouiji board economists – can say for sure how many or how long it will take. Although you won’t be able to swing a poison effluent-killed cat without hitting a lobbyist who’ll tell you with dead solid certainty that it will be bad…real bad…so bad we won’t support you in the next election bad.
Insert a cartoon twinkle off the charlatan’s evil smile here.
It matters because whether climate change deniers or champions are finally proven right, our planet is already much dirtier than mere mortals can withstand. Breathing the primordial ooze that passes for air or drinking water that a zillion Brita filters couldn’t decontaminate is killing us. If you don’t believe me, go ask your own bought and paid scientist whether dirty air or water is bad. Ask them if this is already happening or is a comupter forecast of what El Nino will do in 2050. You’ll find that one of those extinct animals called non-partisanship still lives.
It sucks to be Earth under the stewardship of man.
If we don’t do something about the problems we already have, there won’t be a tomorrow to defer to. We won’t have to worry about the kids whose future we may or may not be mortgaging because they’ll be dead. Fix that and the global climate issue will take care of itself.
And THAT’S what truly matters.
- Should Our Biggest Climate Change Fear Be Fear Itself? (redorbit.com)
- Scientists Scramble to Bridge the Uncertainty Gap in Climate Science (nytimes.com)
- Okay, Climate Scientists: Time to Fight Smart | The Intersection (blogs.discovermagazine.com)
- Climate Science, Circa 1956 (Video) (treehugger.com)
- Global Warming Ice Cores: Studies Show that Earth’s Warming is Normal in Global Climate Cycle (brighthub.com)
- Supercomputing for a Changing Planet: Simulation and Climate Change (insidehpc.com)
- Life after Climategate (cosmiclog.msnbc.msn.com)
- Frank Sesno: A Republican House Won’t Doom Climate Legislation (huffingtonpost.com)
- The Million Kid March for Climate Action (environment.change.org)
This Month in the Journal of the AMA
- Doctors were startled to have found the long-missing Lung of Turin. They are sure of its authenticity after comparing fingerprints found on the X-ray.
- Some women will do anything to cure the scourge of “feminine odor” (See Case 8).
- Ear wax removal accidentally turns into a lobotomy when doctor digs too deep.
- The British health system may not be the best model for US health care.
Just Your General WTFitude
- Gnome insulted, Travelocity discontinues ticket sales for Amalfi Coast vacays.
- Are you an ass? Why yes, yes you are.
- These cleanup methods probably work about as well as a junk shot.
- Don’t fire until you see the whites of their skivvies!
- The strongest argument against veganism.
- You know, sometimes you just have to wonder how humans ended up atop of the food chain.
- NASCAR dads take the pole position.
- Mentos – the Messmaker.
- “I was just driving along and suddenly the moonrise was just so spectacular…”
- Yet inexplicably, Chan has never won the lottery.
- Yogi and Boo-Boo were clearly the most awesome bears EVAH!
- OK, ENOUGH ABOUT THIS JUSTIN BIEBER KID!
- Further proof that Nick Cage is a strange, strange man.
- Wells Fargo Bank is too big to sext. What’s worse, this sort of thing is spreading.
- TMZ jumps the pop culture shark.
- A. Muruganantham: Kondom King of Coimbatore.
- “If you must fart, fart proudly.” Very proudly — Ben Franklin.
- As they say, watching sausage being made is rarely a good thing.
- Piqued by it’s BDSM elements, Michael Steele has found a fabulous resort for the Republican Convention. Word has it that Katy Perry may perform.
- There was no doubt that Le Yogi was a talented man.
- Sure it’s impressive, but even more impressive is the huge hole they must have dug to get under the mountain.
What This World Needs is a Good 5 Cent Robot
- It’s a battle royale, the Eiffel Tower squares off against Osimo!
- “With this hyrdo-mechanical clamp device, I thee wed…”
- OK, now this is getting just a little bit creepy.
- Despite what some people think, we do not need another robotic musician.
- Robot, robot, not a genuine robot.
Ow, That’s Gonna Leave a Mark!
- Before your next acid trip, make sure to stock up on Neuticles™.
- Bull takes offense to being stabbed by a matador.
- The unfortunate incident led to China passing a law forbidding crapping while talking on a cell phone.
- 100 things you can do with a cat with a nail in its head.
- On the upside, at least they weren’t killer bees.
- Add a scene getting hit in the balls by a kid swinging at a pinata and you have the $10,000 winner on America’s Funniest Home Videos.
You Know that a Career in Crime Isn’t for You When…
- Glen Ford originated a clever disguise before his robbery attempt. Who knew it would be destined for failure.
- “OK, hand over the catsup and nobody gets hurt.”
- Colorado men arrested for assault with a deadly brewski.
- Clearly the “virtue cop” didn’t see the burka ninja ready to strike.
- Illinois man gives police a piss-poor alibi for the killing.
- Swedish man fined after his neighbor fights off a deadly attack with salt.
- Stumped by crime, Baltimore cops call in CSI.
- Guy sometimes got a wee bit cranky with his wife when he was hungry, so he decided to light up a fire and cook dinner himself.
- The state police have uncovered a plot by Anti-Chicken Santa-Terrorists in North Pole, AK. Sarah Palin announces it’s a liberal smear campaign against her.
And People Wonder Why Americans are the World’s Top Consumers
- What an ingenious invention – Crapscicles!
- New this fashion season, Twisted Twee offers the world’s first purple nurple prevention T-shit.
- Bjork was the model for this spring’s Betsey Johnson collection.
- Let’s see. Use and wash a butter knife or unpack this thing, set it up, insert the butter, buy batteries, slice off thumb, and wash it. Whatever should I do?
- I don’t travel as much as I’d like, but the portable bidet holds some appeal for home use.
- In fairness to the inventor, he did see a need for men to more efficiently mark their territory.
- Only in Japan would you see the words “gang” and “wacky” in the same sentence.
- More randomness (omnipotentpoobah.com)
- Chatroulette marketing…actually works?! (liesdamnedliesstatistics.com)
- Travelocity joins Chatroulette, adds spam to the mix (downloadsquad.com)
- Megafauna farts could have stopped the ice age 12,000 years ago [Ancient Apocalypse] (io9.com)
- Great Pacific Garbage Patch (socialactions.net)
- Film: Feature: Roll credits? The truth behind cinematic apocalypses (and how much we should worry about them) (avclub.com)
- New Message From John Blandly, Deceased; His Economic Secrets (socyberty.com)
- Katy Perry’s Pink Polka Dot Nails (shoppingblog.com)
- “I really didn’t say everything I said.” Meeting Yogi Berra (bleacherreport.com)
- Saving Homes Through Mediation (abcnews.go.com)