Tag Archives: Bryan Fischer

Lawmakers Consider Alternative Plan to Break Budget Impasse


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah
Black Sheep

OUCH - A staffer for Speaker of the House John Boehner shows reporters how the sheep will be sacrificed as he leaves budget negotiations at the White House.

Washington – Details of a secret Congressional plan to break the long-standing deadlock in budget negotiations leaked out Thursday. US lawmakers are considering the use of an unorthodox method favored by the Kyrgyzstani Parliament – sacrificial sheep.

Although Kyrgyzstanis use it for banishing the twin devils of ethnic strife and revolution, Kyrgyzstani oil lobbyist Zhogorku Kenesh said the ritual could be redesigned for US budget purposes for as little as KGS 7 billion Kyrgyzstani som and an arranged lesbian marriage of President Obama’s eldest daughter Malia Ann Obama to Kyrgyz President Roza Otunbayeva.

The initial proposal, offered by Republicans, called for 6 sheep to be slaughtered and placed on a huge altar recently dedicated at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library and Museum in Simi Valley, CA. However, the proposal immediately met resistance from members of the Republican’s own Christian conservative wing.

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Bryan Fischer: Talking the God Talk Not Walking the God Walk


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah
Watts

This gallery contains 2 photos.

The American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer is no stranger to controversy. His claims are odd and his beliefs narrow. I can never decide if he’s a run of the mill crapweasel or an exceptionally smooth manipulator of his flock’s built-in fears and prejudices…like African-Americans “rutting like rabbits”.

Outbreak of Wikis is a Homo Plot


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah
Don't Steal the Pic-i-nic Baskets

RUN YOGI! RUN BOO BOO! - You guys seem a little light in the pic-i-nic baskets, so run. Bryan Fischer wants you for a rug in the He-Man Homo-Haters Clubhouse.

Everyone knows The Gays are the root of all evil because the Bible tells us so. God compels Westboro Baptist Church to picket funerals that have nothing to do with gayosity. In California, God commanded a DMV clerk to access private records to mail anti-gay literature to a transgendered citizen. And Bryan Fischer, the American Family Association’s head of issues analysis ties Bradley Manning – the soldier who may be responsible for the world’s largest leak of wikis – to smite-worthy gaydom.

Of course Fischer’s take is nothing unusual. In the past, he’s equated gay sex with domestic terrorism (apparently foreign terrorists are only heathen Muslims, but never gay ones), called for the euthanization of grizzly bears, and advocated criminalization of homo sex with mandatory reparative therapy and if that fails, execution.

Way to hate the sin, love the sinner there Bry.

It’s not that it’s scary this ass cake says such loathsome and offensive things, it’s that many people actually side with the nut. It’s not that conservative politicians sometimes support him, but that their Prop. 8 marriages of convenience tie them to the crackpot thereby forcing independents and more liberal Republicans to either desert the party or go along for the sake of the party and enable a swing farther toward the lunatic fringe and away from common sense conservative ideals.

It’s tempting to say Christians who think he’s a crapweasel denounce him, just as Christians think Muslims should denounce their crackpots too.  Just writing off the addle-brained ninny is tempting too. After all, he calls enough attention to his bigotry without any help, regularly reminding the rest of the public just what a  jughead he is. But, it is tempting to hunt the bastard and his ilk down and give them a taste of their own savage medicine.

However, the rest of us are sentient beings who’d never dream of doing unto others what Fischer does to them.

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Bryan Fischer: Backward Christian Soldier


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah
The Knights of Hate

BACKWARD CHRISTIAN SOLDIERS - The American Family Association wants to ship Muslims back from whence they came because they're all evil killers. Perhaps they should read up on the Christian Crusades of the Middle Ages. Wasn't that supposed to have been the final solution for those pesky, blaspheming infidels?

The American Family Association’s Director of Issues Analysis, Bryan Fischer, has suggested that Muslims are such pariahs in his America we should “graciously assist” them right out of the country. There is so much wrong with his public statements it’s hard to tell where to start, but let me try by using his own words, with slight modifications in parentheses, to demonstrate the “logic” of his argument.

“The most compassionate thing we can do for Muslims (Christians) who have already immigrated here is to help repatriate them back to Muslim (Christian) countries, where they can live in a culture (theocracy) which shares their values, a place where they can once again be at home, surrounded by people who cherish their deeply held ideals. Why force them to chafe against the freedom, liberty, and civil rights (that our Constitution guarantees and which) we cherish in the West?”

“Muslims (Christians) continue to have as their objective the Islamization (Christianization) of the entire world, including the U.S., and are taught by their god to use force (force, hate, and discrimination) where necessary to accomplish the goal. The current objective of Muslim (Christian) activists is to create a brand new Islamic (Christian) state – meaning a state like New Jersey or Montana – out of existing jurisdictions and establish a virtual Islamic (Christian) homeland in our midst.”

“Many Muslims (Christians) are on our shores on student visas and as such have not yet become citizens. We must politely decline their request for naturalization becoming an American citizen is a privilege, not a right and use the money we would otherwise spend on their welfare, their education, their medical care, and their incarceration to graciously assist them in returning to their countries of origin.”

“Those who are willing to convert to Christianity (Islam, Judaism, Atheism, or any other belief system) and renounce Islam, Allah, Mohamed (Jesus and the apostles) and the Koran (Bible) may be welcomed, for they can become not just good Christians (citizens) but true Americans.”

There you have it Mr. Fischer, a good long look in the warped mirror you call Christianity in (almost) your own words. I can’t believe any Christian worth their salt would endorse your odious hatred, much less call to enact it – but sadly, I know some will.

I’m an Atheist today at least partially because of righteous, intolerant, asscakes like you. However, I was raised a Christian and believe that all religions, Islam included, have a right to exist in this country lest we become a stinking pit of sectarian servitude like Afghanistan, Iran, or any number of other equally intolerant, brutal, and religiously-motivated excuses for governance. Even though I’m an Atheist, I know this as a former Christian and friend of moderate Christians everywhere:

When you and your ilk show up at St. Peter’s gate, God is going to be one pissed off deity and I hear from the Bible he doesn’t suffer fools like you gladly.

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