The Bible According to Tea Partiers
Blessed are those who love their Bible, but hate the poor (with apologies to those actually following the original scriptures):
Bible: Luke 6:20-21
Then he looked up at his disciples and said: ‘Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. ‘Blessed are you who are hungry now, for you will be filled. ‘Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.
Rewrite: Luke 6:20-21
Then he looked up at his disciples and said: “Blessed are you who are poor, for you are not unionized and a cheap source of labor in the Kingdom of Capital. Blessed are you who are hungry, but eat now for entitlements shall soon be killed to lower taxes on the rich. Blessed are you who weep now, for you must laugh to keep from crying.”
