The Ringling Brothers, Barnum & Barack Show is underway, leaving us all to wonder why we even need conventions – especially if your secret guest speakers are His Eloquency Clint Eastwood and the Imaginary Barack the Kenyan Kommunist. They are outmoded in an instantaneous 24×7 world.
According to the Great Big Screaming Heads, the primary function of the Republican World Lie-a-Thon Champeenships was to introduce Mitt to America. Apparently introducing him is really hard. He’s been running since 2008. Of course, the crazy wing of the party could say incredibly stupid things at exactly the most inopportune times. Party swells cozied up to big donors and assorted cash-laden hangers-on for a little up-close and personal grifting. And, Mittens got to enjoy his favorite political banquet meal…rubber chicken slathered in Dom Perignon caviar sauce served by a brace of virgin Sister Wives.
Posted in Humor, Politics |
Tagged Angel Moroni, back room deals, Barack Obama, Barack the Kenyan Kommunist, Betty White, Clint Eastwood, Democratic National Convention, democrats, dodo bird, Electoral College, flag-waving, God, Great Big Screaming Heads, Jerusalem, long campaigns, Mitt Romney, no abortions, party platform, plastic straw boater hats, primaries, Republican, Republican National Convention, Rush Limbaugh, shit doesn't stink, Tony Perkins |
There’s nothing like music to soothe your day. Wafting melodies. Soaring inspiration. Tranquility. Then, there’s this music. Enjoy Betty White, Gwyneth Paltrow, Nickleback does Motown, lapdances, burritos, and more.
Posted in Humor |
Tagged Betty White, Dormtainment, Dos Toros, Graham Norton, Guac It Out, Gwyneth Paltrow, How You Remind Me, Humor, i sit on you, I'M STILL HOT, Luciana, Motown, music, Nickleback, NWA, rap, Straight Outta Compton, Straight Outta Dunwoody, suburban rap, this is what i do, video |
IS IT BIG TIPS PAT? - No matter how hard she tried, Sarah was never quite able to get her mind INTO the gutter. Click photo for more >>
Italians Have 467 Words for Boobs, But Strangely None for Snow
for boobs. Julia was an early bloomer, and a late bloomer, and well,
she’s still blooming. I wonder if women with implants can
do that from the inside? Sure, it’s a
catchy job title, but you might want to avoid putting it on your resume.
Flashing your boobs is a firing offense?! When did that happen? Hey, hey!
Her face is up here! Until I saw this I would’ve argued there were no “
worst kind of boobs“. Direct quote of the week: “What’s the ideal thing to jerk off into? I’m a paper towel guy. Not as weak as tissues and bigger than a napkin.
One Brawny sheet and I’m done.” Kristin Davis, a
candidate you can get behind. Holy anal lube Batman, I just saw
the bat signal! In search of complete online privacy, thousands closed their Facebook accounts in favor of a social site that was a
little less, um, private? I went to this really expensive spa and all I got was
Vajazzeled. A surefire sign you need to
get out more often. Maybe I”m lazy, but
shoryuken looks like a lot of work without much of a payoff. OK,
nothing more need be said about this link. What the hell is
wrong with kids these days? When playing
strip poker, John just could not hide his throbbing hard tell.
Pop Culture on Parade
We hate the sin, but we still want to
love the sinner – we just don’t want to be so crude about it. Finally, statistical proof that the
Fox News anchors are ubergoobs. “Which of
these things art not like thine others” — Dooderhominy 9.11. If you think
this is excessive, you should see the Pentagon’s rules for the new, You Can Ask, But I Really Do Not Want to Embarrass You by Telling policy. Don’t applaud, you’ll only
encourage him. Sometimes going green takes
a little extra effort. For the last time,
shoot me! Don’t make me stop this car an….BANG! It
smells real good too, you betcha. (To the esteemed Blue Gal) I’m guessing that the
nude husband in bed isn’t going to get any from her tonight. Best headline EVAH – “
Betty White, Wielding Flaming Chainsaw, Riding Centaur John Ritter…in a Cape” Um, just to be clear, she’s in the cape. Centaurs don’t wear them. Run! Run for your lives!
The USS BP Asscake is coming into port! Obviously, a “
drive safely” campaign in China means something entirely different in the rest of the world. It’s things like this that cause people to
hate Star Wars junkies.
There Must Be Something in the Japanese Water
Surfin’ the Crime Wave
“OK, everyone put up your hands and
nobody will get vibrated.” It’s like taking candy from a baby. Well, maybe not exactly like candy, but more like a
BMW pram. But the worst part of the
whole incident is that the cell provider charged their estates big bucks for breaking their service contracts. Apparently the
kids grow up fast in Kansas City. Once more people, kids don’t come with an instruction manual, so please take time to research some
do’s and don’t’s. Thank you.
Row, Row, Row Your Bot….
Posted in Humor, Pop Culture |
Tagged Betty White, boobs, Facebook, Fox Broadcasting Company, funny, Humor, Japan, John Ritter, knockers, Kristin Davis, odd, random, Robots, shoryuken, stupid, tits, Vajazzel, weird, wtf |