GIANT BABY HEAD - When they're awake they're nothing but big cry babies. Click photo >>

How Can You Govern a Country With 246 Varieties of Cheese? – C. De Gaulle

• You can’t beat a a nice boobie brie and a fine bottle of wine.
• In Judge Warriner’s defense, Tillamook cheddar does make a bitchin’ grilled cheese.
• Crime: Assault with a deadly cheese ball.

True Crime That Makes You Feel Superior

• There are some things you shouldn’t have to tell people. Don’t shave your balls while driving is one of them.
• Worcestershire sauce, as good on your head as it is on burgers.
• The food at Chicken Hut is to die for.
• En guarde you bookish thugs.
• If you do the crime, you’ve got to do the time…even if it is a goat.
• Just one package of Breathe Right strips would’ve been enough to avoid this tragedy.
• The murder was commited at the airfield by Col. Mustard with a gyrocopter.
• It’s spring break time again.
• Toni, be careful. You could put somebody’s eye out like that.
• If there was one thing George W. Bush proved, it’s that frat boys are not often known for their common sense.
• I suppose this means backseat poll dancing is out of the question.
• The obvious joke here would be that he hid, “some really good shit“.

All-Consuming Consumerism

• Nothing says high fashion like wearing turds on your ears.
• The Harlem Globetrotters aren’t going to like this one bit.
• By comparison, Sarah Palin’s entourage made real locusts look like mild-mannered gardeners.
• Smoking products for the truly lazy.
• Yes, I too have taken refuge under a handy breast from time to time.
• You know you’ve invented something truly useless when the only thing you can think to call it is Transformable Interior Object.
• Ooooo, those crappy strappy shoes are to die for!
• If you buy this, make room in your junk closet right next to the panini maker, because you’ll never use it.
• Men may be from Mars, but women are from the psych ward.
• The stockings aren’t so bad, but the idea of previously worn panties brings an unpleasant picture to mind.
• I often suggest people keep Ann Coulter books and coyote urine on hand. You never know when you’ll need to throw some piss at her.
• It may cost $76 gajillion, but your kid will love it when he’s shoveling driveways at 10 bucks a pop.
• Sure, it’s a handy gadget, but women still can’t write their names in the snow.
• I’m beginning to think there has been irreparable damage to the Tiger Woods brand.
• They’re the most popular candy in Saudi Arabia.

FILL 'ER UP - The best waaaay of waking up is a robot with a cuuuup! Click photo >>

Robot-O-Land

• I wonder if this robot can play the theme from Lost in Space?
• To keep development costs under control, engineers carried their system optimization phase a little too far.
• Honda shows off its “Hondots“.

Square Pegs Seeking Round Holes

• Regardless of what they say, everyone loves a good fart joke.
• What?! Are you drunk?
• It’s Raining Men was a big hit for the Weather Girls, but somehow their next song It’s Raining Fish, never caught on.
• Billy loved AC/DC, but quickly found out the mosh pit was a little dangerous.
• It’s a little known historical fact, but Benjamin Franklin suffered the same fate when he peed on his kite string.
• It took Joe a few minutes to realize the SpatSolver had nothing to do with cleaning up spit.
• Jane thought she’d filed the production reports under miscellaneous.
• No doubt there’s a really good story behind this picture.
• CAN-A-DA! CAN-A-DA! CAN-A-DA!
• Bank of America seized the house. Then, the CEO ordered it sold so he could buy that new yacht he had his eye on.
• What CEOs do when they don’t get their quarterly bonus…
• Inga always tucked into a heaping helping of hakari for Christmas dinner.
• Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t.

The Inscrutable Secrets of Japan

• The Japanese really love their chocolate…a lot.
• A well-groomed cat is a psychotic cat.
• Officials said there was no way to predict the earthquake because sushi chefs ran amok on the beach beforehand.
• Sometimes it seems as if the Japanese have way too much time on their hands.
• C’mon Tim, it can’t be that bad can it?
• Let’s just get it over with a shove a probe up everyone’s ass.
• It’s sad when Japanese kids become wannabe gangstahs.

Pop Culture Without the Fizz

• It’s a timeless question, “Ginger or Mary Ann?”
• Um, that’s a little TMI isn’t it?
• In the annals of unfortunately-named websites, Poopy Lickles and Mr. Poop were Hall of Famers.
• Sometimes it seems everyone is a fashion critic.
• Getting into heaven is easy, just butter up The Big Guy.
• Lee Jin-gyu wanted to support marriage freedom so he’s petitioning to put his Defense of Inanimate Object Marriage Act on the ballot.
• Claire believed herself to be truly lucky that she’ll be able to make a Marmite sandwich when the rapture comes. And word to the wise, The Big Guy likes a nice BLT.
• RUN! The Twinkie Borg have returned! to Karl Elvis.

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