TERRORIST NABBED - TSA agents stopped a so-called Boobie Bomber at Reagan National airport as she tried to board a plane carry two breast implant bombs.
In an airport somewhere in America:
“Line 2 is NOW open ladies and gentlemen. Please have a photo ID, boarding pass, blood sample, and affidavits from at least 18 people (not including immediate or extended family members) ready for checking.”
“Please remove all shoes, belts, jackets, rings, watches, garments, legs, and underwear. No liquids, except blood contained within your body is allowed on board. Federal air regulations prohibit you from carrying sweat, pus, urine, and fecal matter on board the aircraft.”
SURVEILLANCE PHOTO - A recently declassified photo showing an Al Qaeda operative shortly after having the bombs implanted.
“You will be required to undergo a full body scan and cavity search. You must keep the scan films with you at all times and never let them out of your sight. You may be required to produce them at any time on your flight for the purposes of comparison to the Federal Terrorist Scan List.”
“OK lady! What’re you carrying there?”
“Right there, in the breasticle area.”
“Breastical area ma’am. Are those breast implants?”
“CODE 8! CODE 8! FUN BAG INTRUDER ALERT, GATE 17! DROP TO THE FLOOR LADY! TITS UP! TITS UP! I’m not screwin’ around!”