Let’s Stop and Take a Breath: American Divisiveness

No Service to AZ LegislatorsAmerican divisiveness is a special breed of cat. American-style democracy is an anomaly in the world and so is the American way of trying to bridge divisions to balance the needs of the many and the few.

Sometimes this is a knee-jerk, willful, or greatly misguided bunk — as in former House Speaker Tom DeLay’s contention that, “We stopped realizing that God created this nation, that he wrote the Constitution, that it’s based on biblical principles.” Sometimes it is a matter of forcing opinions on your opposition — like Richard Dawkins’ claim that, “What a child should never be taught is that you are a Catholic or Muslim child, therefore that is what you believe. That’s child abuse.”

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Quit Bitching About the Arizona ‘Bitch Session’

When is a Bitch Not a Bitch?There are times when the level of inconsequential minutiae in politics turns into, well, a bitch session.

Last Sunday Arizona Republic columnist Laurie Roberts wrote about the kookie nature of the Arizona legislature. In it she said, “To dekook Arizona, start with the state Republican Party.” GOP donor, Kathy Petsas, agreed, saying her party has “been hijacked” and should be wrenched back from ideologues.

One could reasonably argue the Arizona legislature, home of more than its fair share of kooks, is an ideolgue’s paradise. One could also argue the place needs a respite from the politinuts. Both are fair political game, even in the overheated environment that passes for public discourse these days.

So far, so good.

GOP spokesperson Shane Wikfors countered. He wrote in his blog that the women hadn’t even, “bothered to pick up the phone and call me or the Chairman and Kathy Petsas never made any attempt to provide any constructive criticism to the State Party,” he wrote. “Not surprisingly, I’ve never seen her come to the office to volunteer. Instead, Ms. Petsas ran off to Laurie Roberts and engaged her in a ‘bitch session.’

I’m not privy to whether Petsas and Roberts called or not. I also don’t know whether Pestas volunteers or even needs to volunteer. On the surface I think the call to toss the ideologues is “constructive”. But it doesn’t matter whether I do, I don’t live in Arizona. All of that may or may not be true, but none of it is what caused a kerfuffle this week. Instead, it was Wikfors use of the term, “bitch session”.

Many jumped on Wikfor and intimated that “bitch session” somehow implied he was referring to the women as bitches. That a bit of a stretch. The same sort of stretch that leads people to call Republicans, to a member, Nazis or people who voted against Barack Obama certified racists. To be sure there probably are some Nazis in elephant’s clothing and yup, I’m sure Obama didn’t poll well with the KKK. But, that sort of kookie hyperbole is part and parcel of the ideological behavior both sides use in spades – and not in the sense of black people, but in the sense of “to a considerable degree“.

The common use of  “bitch session” is clear to anyone familiar enough with the American idiom to mean “complaining, griping, bitching, moaning, and gnashing teeth.” As clear as the term “gnashing teeth” doesn’t mean actual dentine grinding  and moaning isn’t a reference to ghosts or orgasms.

Roberts agreed, telling Politico, “I don’t have any concern about the words. I’ve been called far worse.” Well, that’s sort of an agreement. That little dangler about being “called far worse” is the same sort of disagreeing agreement that those on the right use when they say Obama is American, but describe the question as “interesting”.

Look, there are plenty of things to ding politicians for on both sides. There are plenty of examples on both sides of people using words to say something they really want to say, but don’t have the courage to say.

If you want to say this whole affair isn’t about women’s issues, then say it – strong, unambiguously, and clearly. If you want to imply women are bitches, do it with your empty head held high and show the world just what a boob (no reference to the female anatomy) you truly are.

But either way, quitcher bitchin’.

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Arizona Church Dome: Why Hate When You Can Outsource?

Not so long ago, much of the nation looked at Texas as the Loon Star State – a place so weird that  Texans think of Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, and Sean Hannity as dangerous far lefties in league with that socialist Kenyan pretender in the White House.

But, every Empire of Imbeciles must come to an end.

Outsourcing for Freedom

DOMEHEADS UNITE! - "Don't worry, we're really Christians under contract to the international Islamist cabal!"

America, meet the new goobs on the block – Arizonans. As Hunter Thompson used to say, “When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro”…and there’s no place more professional than Arizona.

It surely takes professional crazies to protest a Christian church because it looks too much like a mosque. Damn Mexican Mooslims!

Broken Light of the World
The point of contention for the good Christian folk of Phoenix seems to be that the Light of the World church topped their God garage with a dome. To Arizonans, domes are the illegal aliens of the religious world. Presumably the many Catholic missions doting the cactusophere are equally condemned for featuring domes in their designs too, but somehow I doubt that.

Tonya Somander of Think Progress asked, “…with so many high-profile figures selling unfounded, anti-Muslim fear to the public, is it any wonder that all many Americans can see in Islam is a phantom menace?”  Well Tonya, no, but it does make perfect sense in Arizona. They’re so jelly-kneed they don’t even have to have real Muslims to hate. All they need is a bold, but unsuspecting, church architect and some followers of the same faith most of them adhere to.

It’s odd that Christians – who are somewhere between 75 and 85 percent of the American population – are always worrying about atheists and Muslims trying to kill Christendom with a combination of dastardly Wars on Christmas and autographed baseball cards featuring Madalyn Murray O’Hair. This is especially true in Arizona where there are fewer Muslims than black people –  currently numbering about 6 people who must carry their papers at all times. But, there’s not a racist in Arizona, so who’s counting?

However, maybe this does make sense. Clearly there are too few actual Muslims in Arizona to absorb all the fear Arizonans have for those tricky Islamists. It’s hard to get worked up over a bunch of New Yorkers who prefer titty bars to houses of worship in Lower Manhattan. After all, the titty baristas don’t get too exercised over Mexicans leaving piles of dead bodies at the Tuscon city limits, now do they?

A state as proud as The Grand Canyon Crackpot State must have it’s own Muslims to persecute. Period. Doing it vicariously through castoffs from Jersey Shore is just no fun at all.

So why not outsource Islamic fear?

It’s a Win-Win for Arizona
Arizona already has a surplus of Christians on hand. They represent a trained workforce that could easily make the transition from law abiding Jeezlets to evil burka wearers with little trouble. They have the religious training. Christian churches always need money to Save the Children in all those countries they’d never be caught dead in. It’s a win-win and best of all, Americans could corner the market on faux Muslims before the Indians or Chinese could get a foothold.

So it’s settled. Light of the Worlders, stop by Home Depot and hire a few illegal immigrants to get that dome up as fast as possible. Maybe even add a minaret here and there, nothing too ostentatious. And you can find someone who yodels to simulate the calls to prayer can’t you?

As for pay, $2 an hours seems fair – and no benefits, because they’re a socialist plot. We’d like to pay more, but we just can’t pay minimum wage because, well, we could get the Mexicans to work cheaper and we don’t want to create a monetary imbalance in the Arizona economy. There’s no way strings of varnished chillies could make up the shortfall.

Muslims, our people will call your people. We’d like to talk outsourcing Christians to Yemen.

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