Tag Archives: Ann Coulter

Sharron Angle’s Black Day at Tonopah


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah

People of Nevada, I feel your pain. I get it. Really I do. It’s not like Harry Reid has been worth much as Senate leader and I’m sure he’s sucked just as bad as your personal Senator. But fer Chrissakes, couldn’t you come up with someone to run against him other than Sharron Angle? Someone respectable, you know smart and cultured – I’m thinking Rush Limbaugh.

Back in Black

BACK IN BLACK - Crusader for Merging of Church and State, Sharron Angle, once argued the color black was evil...however, not so evil as to avoid wearing it herself.

Angle is so spectacularly bad as a candidate and – well, let’s face it – quasi-sentient being that she actually makes The Grizzly Whisperer™ look like a genius. If you elect this woman to anything, much less the US Senate, your license plates will have to say, “Welcome to Nevada, the Moron State” as a matter of truth in advertising. And that’s saying something when you’re up against the competition from Texas and Arizona. I mean those people are real pros.

An Idiot That Keeps on Giving
Nary a day goes by that Over-Sharin’ Sharron doesn’t do or say something stupid. Reporters should only ask the questions she wants to hear and write stories that only she can approve. She thinks God called her to run for Senate, proving once again that God should hire a much better class of PR flaks for his domain. She doesn’t believe in the separation of church and state and accuses Democrats of being in violation of the First Amendment Commandment. Gadzooks Nevandans!

I’ve always believed that to be a success in life you shouldn’t compare yourself to others, but use a personal yardstick to compare yourself to what you are capable of.  Angle clearly has some sort of weird metric mojo going on when it comes to her personal yardstick.

Case in point : She denies it now, but back in 1992 she came out foursquare against the scourge of black. Not black as in African American (although she doesn’t seem like a BFF of them either). Not black as in Black Friday. Not even – to employ a Nevadaism – blackjack. No, Sharron Angle is against black…the color. Specifically, the color of football jerseys at Tonopah High.

It’s evil. It’s close to sacrilege she said of a move to change the school’s jerseys to red. So evil in fact that she agitated to have the change repealed, the jerseys seized and put under lock and key, and the kids who bought them left holding the bag because the school wouldn’t reimburse them.

I suppose we could infer from this that Sharron would lead the charge against all sorts of other “colorism” too.

The Amish Are Evil
Priests and ministers would have to exorcise their black vestments. Amish folks would have to wear hot pink (because we all know what raving, hell-raising devil-worshipers they are). Black Flag insecticide would be verboten and the Oakland Raiders banned from the football field – although some would think that an improvement.

I’m used to politicians saying and doing stupid things. It is what they do and you can expect a certain amount of that from the sheer volume of hogswallop they spew. Talk enough and you’re bound to look like a goob occasionally. It’s an occupational hazard. But I’m aghast to say she easily snatches the Scepter of Stupidity from Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann. Even the unholy Troika of  Trolldom, Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, and all the Fox News blondie bubbleheads rolled into one, run a distant second.

So people of Nevada, take mercy on the rest of us. Harry’s worthless, but at least he’s emasculate. Sharron is so stupid she might even figure out how to be dangerous – although I admit I may be giving her mental powers more credit than they deserve. Don’t elect this pinhead. We already have enough trouble as it is. Good God, Newt Gingrich might even make a comeback and that would be worse than a lifetime supply of Glenn Beck reruns!

Elect Sharron Angle and it will be a black day for us all.

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The Time for Asking is Past, the Time for Telling is Now


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah
Dead is Dead Regardless of Sexual Preference

THE TOMB OF THE UNKNOWN GAY - If a gay soldier is shot down in the forest and no one is around to ask if he's gay, does he die straight?

The Dems are scrambling this week to repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT) before the electorate shows them the door. It’s a sad commentary that they should even need to rush to afford citizens the rights to which they are clearly entitled under the Constitution. It’s sadder still that the most useless piece of legislative garbage to ever come out of Congress was enacted to begin with and that it’s repeal hangs by a thread now.

Over the years homosexuality has been blamed for all manner of things without a grain of truth rooted in reality. First, there was the “all homos are pedophiles” argument. Then, there was the, “they’ll reduce the military to a bunch of sniveling, whining, fear-crazed Jello molds who fear being ogled in the showers” argument. Over at the WestBigot Baptist Church – a place so loopy even Ann Coulter thinks they’re crazy – they don’t even bother with justifications, just “smite them because God tells me so” – but apparently not the same God the Constitution alludes to:

Rights Are Endowed by Your Creator Dammit!
“We hold these truths to be self-evident: That all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness…”

Now comes the drivel from the Family Research Council (FRC), that allowing gays to serve in the military is going to cause a wave of rape to sweep through the ranks. Fine upstanding heterosexual men might be fellated while they sleep or have their backsides tenderly probed while standing in line at the mess hall.

Dear God! Can the End Times be far off?!

THE MEANING OF DADT - "Shut up and pretend to be straight for your country."

The FRC certainly seems to be right on top of this whole “gay thing”, probably because many of them are gay, afraid of becoming gay, in the process of being “cured” of being gay, or bi-confused about the whole thing. Just ask George “Rentboy” Rekers. As a group they appear to be as straight as a dog’s hind leg – and just as wet from pissing themselves.

Remove the Penises From Your Ears
So for those who still need to have the penises cleared from their ears, hear this:

  1. There is zero evidence that gays and the military are incompatible. Nearly every industrialized country on the planet has gays in the military and operate quite well, thankyewvurymuch.
  2. You are as free to hate gays as they are entitled to their Constitutionally-defined, God given right to serve in the military. Their doing so, in no way, interferes with your right to practice a religion or anything else for that matter.
  3. Despite Rick Santorum‘s protests to the contrary, being gay doesn’t infect you with an unquenchable desire to fellate puppies.
  4. The troops of the US military are brave professionals. To suggest they will somehow run away from homosexuals like little girls on a playground is not only ludicrous, but quite frankly insulting – you might even say unpatriotic. If the repeal of DADT causes the military to fall apart, we’ve been spending a lot of money on a military that is so ineffective as to be not much more than a gang of well-armed thugs – not unlike the Afghan military come to think of it.

But finally, there is this. Gays have been in the military since man first raised armies to kill each other. They are there today. So if you believe gays are such a clear and present danger, please answer this:

Is a soldier any less gay because you didn’t ask and he didn’t offer to tell you?

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Conservative Ricochet Rabbits Start New Website


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah
Funniest Man on the Planet

ARE WE HAVING FUN YET? - Conservative funny man Michael Steele's turn as a conservative blogger from the hood didn't fare well, but perhaps the new conservative website will allow him to make a comeback.

Conservatives are trying to have fun again, and that’s never a good thing. Michael Steele blogging about the mean streets of the Georgetown hood fell flat, although that walking, talking avatar was sort of neat in a paleo-Flash kind of way. Fox News’ uber-fun 1/2 Hour News Hour disappeared so fast it made Ann Coulter’s Adam’s apple spin. The “humor” being confined to a Nostrasdumbassian reference to Sarah Palin’s Half Governor, Whole Governor, All Grizzly Momma Show.

Now, from that dark, distinctly unfunny corner of the web comes a Facebook for the conservative set – Ricochet. I’ll resist a Big Dick Cheney™ reference here – oops, too late.

Ricochet ought to be right up the old conservative poop chute. It’s being compared to a conservative cocktail party that looks nothing like anything else on the net, unless you consider looking exactly like everything else on the net as different.

Twitter-Size Hole in the Information Cobblestone Highway
“It will not be a news aggregator, or a megachat like Daily Kos,” said James Poulous, Richochet’s Managing Commandant of Fun. “but instead will be a feed like Facebook or Twitter or Tumbler.”

Yes, there IS a Twitter-size hole in the information cobblestone highway begging to be filled by non-union labor. Yet another group of fear-crazed, grammar-challenged, protest sign typoists is just what the country needs right now.

The site’s producers apparently don’t think Fox news and every AM radio station on the planet provides enough chances for conservative fun. “There is plenty of space in the online world for a center-right website with a sense of fun, of talking back and forth among conservatives.”

And indeed there would be if they simply talked instead of yelled batshit crazily like LimbaHaniBeck. Although, I don’t think they could go wrong with a regular Orly Taitz bit. She’s he-frickin-larious!

‘Baggers’ DOES NOT Have a Sexual Connotation
I know the baggers  – don’t get all huffy, we all know it’s not sexual, the term was coined in relationship to grocery baggers – birthers, and conspiracy plot makers just wanna be like Cindy Lauper and have fun – good, clean, heterosexual fun.

But dudes, go with your strengths. When your idea of fun is incessantly saying “no” like Rainman as a toddler, your material is a little limited. It’s hard to base a website on an unending string of conservatives giving abstinence lectures supported by their mistresses and calling Obama a Kenyan Kommunist. You know, like Michelle Malkin covers the entire spectrum of thought from grapes to raisins.

But on the up side, you already have the technology end of things covered. I hear Ted Stevens is available and has a solid grasp of .php and xhtml.

But be forewarned, I hear he doesn’t work well with others.

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At the Tipping Point of Free Speech and Deadly Speech


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah

CULTURE CLASH OR COULTER CLASH? - Students at Ottawa University go nose-to-nose and toe-to-toe over a scheduled speech by Ann Coulter. Is Colter's dog and pony show over the edge of the free expression tipping point?

Update Even Crapweasels Get First Amendment Protection

At the outset, let me make something clear. I’ve never heard a statement from Ann Coulter, Sarah Palin, or John Yoo that I didn’t think was the planet’s biggest bucket of elephant slop. But at the convergence of this Triumvirate of Twits is an example of how our nation is close to the tipping point between deadly expression and free expression.

Ann Coulter is the doyen of the teabagger set and the most outrageous of the three. Her diatribes are an uninterrupted string of vitriol and hate specifically designed to provoke. It’s a winning situation too. She can turn out books like the Keebler elves turn out cookies and clean up.

Recently, protesters turned up to prevent her from speaking at the University of Ottawa. That should be no surprise. Mixed in amongst her usual racist, homophobic, liberal paranoia she took time to call out the entire nation of Canada a few years back. Canada has “become trouble,” in her words. “They better hope the United States doesn’t roll over one night and crush them. They’re lucky they’re allowed to be on the same continent as the United States.”

Canada?! I mean, WTF.

To the Left of Atilla the Hun Divorce Lawyer
On the other hand, Jon Yoo is professorial in comparison. He’s generally quiet, but defends actions and interprets laws in maddening ways that baffle any lawyer to the left of Attila the Hun’s divorce attorney. But, his mild-mannered appearance didn’t stop hecklers from shouting during a speech at the University of Virginia. He finished the speech, but not before several people we’re fired up enough to be carried away by the local constabulary.

Then, there’s sexy schoolmarm, Sarah. She’s leaping aboard the obstructionism bandwagon, saying, “Commonsense Conservatives and lovers of America: Don’t retreat, instead – RELOAD!”

These three are cardboard cutouts of real people. I’m confident Coulter would “hate” anyone she could make a buck from – hate being an emotion far outside her grapes to raisins repertoire.

Yoo is a mere lackey who follows orders without much thought or emotion. “John, I need a legal reason to invade Canada because Annie hates the place,” Dick Cheney might have asked. “Yessir Mr. Vice Emperor. I’ll have it by Tuesday.”

Sarah is a bubblehead. I’m sure she doesn’t mean for people to actually take guns and shoot people because that would mean fewer people on the street to pay attention to her preening – regardless of whether the attention is good or bad.

I’m a fervent believer in the First Amendment. I believe everyone – even the asshats, crapweasels, and miscreant among us – has the right to say what they want, even if I think it’s a load of hogswallop. In fact, precisely BECAUSE they have an unpopular message. The measure of a democracy is how it treats it least desirable citizens. To do less would be to invite the fringe to take become the majority.

‘Reload’ and Hand Out the Ammo
However, unrestricted freedom of expression assumes the speaker has some modicum of self-control – for example, not saying “reload” and then handing out the bullets. It assumes messages will stay generic enough to avoid overly inciting the daft to unwanted shenanigans.

I don’t think you could make an argument that any of these people’s statements is specific in of itself, but you could make a valid argument they amp up the vitriol to the point where the violently-inclined begin to think it’s safe to act out the throwaway lines off unthinking, self-aggrandizing blowhards. But, where is the line? Which statement is the tipping point between absurdist trifle and calls to action received via tin-foil hat?

I’ve still not given up on unrestricted free speech. It’s too important. However, I know that unless people try to dampen their, um, “enthusiasm”, the protests of the 60s and 70s will look like a gaggle of stoners too high to do anything other than stick daisies in gun barrels. There will be real violence, destruction, and death.

It’s a times like these that freedom becomes more than a 200-year old theory and it’s a damn shame everyone can’t be at least a little responsible for their actions.

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Randomness: Who Cut the Cheese Style


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah
GIANT BABY HEAD - At 10 lbs. 7 oz. I thought my daughter was big.

GIANT BABY HEAD - When they're awake they're nothing but big cry babies. Click photo >>

How Can You Govern a Country With 246 Varieties of Cheese? – C. De Gaulle

True Crime That Makes You Feel Superior

All-Consuming Consumerism

FILL 'ER UP - The best waaaay of waking up is a robot with a cuuuup!

FILL 'ER UP - The best waaaay of waking up is a robot with a cuuuup! Click photo >>

Robot-O-Land

  • I wonder if this robot can play the theme from Lost in Space?
  • To keep development costs under control, engineers carried their system optimization phase a little too far.
  • Honda shows off its “Hondots“.

Square Pegs Seeking Round Holes

The Inscrutable Secrets of Japan

Pop Culture Without the Fizz

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