Running Away from George Bush Like Usain Bolt with a Rocket Up His Ass

Lindsey Graham, Ass Clown

Oh brother, that’s rich! Suddenly, George W. Bush is no longer the crazy uncle no one wants to talk about. Some key Republicans have stopped running away from him like Usain Bolt with a rocket up his ass to turn and tell the world what a magnificent ass cake the Texas Tugjob really was. With apologies to Sally Field, “They hate him, they really hate him!”

Until now if you brought up George the Lesser in Republican quarters you’d likely get an, “Um, I think I left my lights on,” with a quick exit. Sure they knew he was a carbuncle on the ass of society, but how do you cop to supporting an incompetent boob for eight years and spend the next four blaming all the steaming turds he left on someone else?

It turns out you do it cravenly.

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Our World has Changed Forever and It’s Not Coming Back

On September 1, 2001 a gaggle of terrorists – at least one of whom spent his last night on Earth drinking demon rum while ogling strippers – caught the early flight out of Portland , ME. The rest, as they say, is history.

When the dust settled George W. Bush grabbed a megaphone, climbed atop some rubble, threw his arm around a fireman, and gave a fiery speech about truth, justice, and the American way. The good ol’ boy fireman hug was a bit over-the-top, but otherwise it was the perfect thing to rally a country on edge and staring into a bottomless pit of C4.

It also marked the last time I agreed with just about anything he said and the last time there was any semblance of civility in the political process.

At the time, every pundit and politician talked about how the attacks were game-changers. The most oft-heard phrase was, “Our world has changed forever.”

That sure turned out a gross understatement.

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Bush War Crimes: What About His Accomplices?

Mohamed ElBaradei, former head of the International Atomic Energy Agency, says in his new memoir that some Bush Administration officials should face an international criminal investigation for their actions in starting Gulf War II.

He makes a strong case based on confirmed information that has come to light since the War of Error began. For example:

Were there really WMD? Why did the Bushies take the word of an informant, already believed by his German handlers to be sketchy, over ElBaradei and other nuke monitors? Why was the war originally about WMD? Then, about non-existent Al Qaeda meanies before morphing into a campaign spreading the wonders of democracy to a country that still can’t govern itself after almost 9 years and counting.

More importantly, why are we still there? If the answer that Bush still clings to was removing a, “homicidal dictator pursuing WMD,” then the question was settled long ago. No WMD and the homicidal dictator is dead. Let’s go pack our bags.

That war, along with the one in Afghanistan, has cost many lives and much national treasure – enough treasure to make them major causes of our current debt crisis. And, they continue to be albatrosses around the nation’s fiscal neck.

Most people have concluded the war was a colossal blunder at best and a war crime, as Elbaradei believes, at worst. What is certain is that the King of Personal Responsibility and his cabal of inept minions have never been held to account for any of their actions and they’re unlikely to.

People don’t talk much about Iraq anymore. If they’re extremely well-informed they might be vaguely aware that bombs still explode and soldiers still die. Most Americans are more worried about who’s going to get bounced from American Idol than how many Americans are still stuck the world’s largest sand traps. America has a giant case of war fatigue. You can only watch just so many car wrecks before they’re no fun anymore. Just ask Dale Earnhardt fans.

We can lay some of that malaise at the feet of Congress and Barak Obama. Nancy Pelosi came into power and immediately took impeachment off the table. Obama campaigned extensively on winding down both Afghanistan and Iraq. However, the end of his term is coming up and we’re still there – in Afghanistan, in fact, more there than when Bush was bumbling along.

We’re still bleeding money from both suck holes while arguing if we can afford schools, roads, and Grandma’s Alzheimer’s meds. We’re still under the dark provisions of the comically named Patriot Act and each day government power grows at a rate second only to America’s corporatocracy.

I didn’t expect Obama’s promises of Hope and Change to be totally true. After all, campaign promises always melt when high-minded rhetoric meets reality. However, I did expect some action, even if no more than token resistance, to counter the smoking hole Dubya bequeathed us.

Instead, there’s no change in trying to reclaim our burgled civil liberties. No progress in getting out of Afghanistan and scarcely more in leaving Iraq. We’re still bleeding money on the disgraceful wars to the detriment of almost everything the government does. But worst of all, there’s no hope any of that will change.

So maybe ElBaradei has a point. Maybe Big Bush and all of his little scrub brush should be hauled up in front of the Interrnational Court. But in the interest of true American justice, Obama, Congress, and any other jackwads who helped this happen should be in their best orange jumpsuits right along with him.

And we should make sure we do it without starting some new war upon ourselves.

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