Remembering the Aerospace Chicken

70-1259 Aerospace Chicken

Forty years ago, I worked as an aircraft mechanic before returning to my original career as a writer. During that time I worked on airplanes as diverse as supersonic Navy F-14 Tomcat fighters and small commuter “puddle jumpers” like Shorts SD330 “Winnebagos” and Fairchild Metro III “Sewer Pipes”. But the apple of my eye was always a frumpy, dumpy, lizard-skinned USAF C-130 Hercules named the Aerospace Chicken (Tail No. 70-1259).  We affectionately called them “Trash Haulers” because they carried everything — sometimes, quite literally as I did once, trash.

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Dear (Insert Asscake Here),

Dear People Who Think Trump is a Racist,

Trump is no more racist than Martin Luther King. He has no convictions except as relative to his weave. He IS a craven, one-man shitstorm who would blow every person of color on the planet in Times Square, while wearing a Red Lobster hat, and singing a duet with the Naked Cowboy if he thought it would get him a single line of ink (positive or negative) in the Drudge Report.

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I Heart Huckabee

Remember the last election when Mike Huckabee was the reasonable one? Just  a nice guy from Hope, Arkansas. Charming in a homespun Cracker Barrel restaurant sort of way.

Now, his creepy Pat Robertson roots are showing. He is not only vehemently religious in his intolerant zeal, he’s vehement enough that other candidates give him a wide berth when forced to take a position on his latest screed. He has become one of the great unhinged, somewhere to the right of Genghis Khan.

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