Category Archives: Uncategorized

Our World has Changed Forever and It’s Not Coming Back


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah

On September 1, 2001 a gaggle of terrorists – at least one of whom spent his last night on Earth drinking demon rum while ogling strippers – caught the early flight out of Portland , ME. The rest, as they say, is history.

When the dust settled George W. Bush grabbed a megaphone, climbed atop some rubble, threw his arm around a fireman, and gave a fiery speech about truth, justice, and the American way. The good ol’ boy fireman hug was a bit over-the-top, but otherwise it was the perfect thing to rally a country on edge and staring into a bottomless pit of C4.

It also marked the last time I agreed with just about anything he said and the last time there was any semblance of civility in the political process.

At the time, every pundit and politician talked about how the attacks were game-changers. The most oft-heard phrase was, “Our world has changed forever.”

That sure turned out a gross understatement.

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Randomness: Random-a-Palooza Style


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah
Barbie Puking

BARBIE-A-PALOOZA - After she made the Walk of Shame, Barbie has a hard night at the Dream House. Click photo for more >>

Robot-a-Palooza

Japan-a-Palooza

There’s a Fine Line Between Lunacy and Stupidity

Wicked Barbie Fetish

Put Another Barbie on the Barbie. Click photo for more >>

Poobah’s Believe It or Not

Proof That Free Market Economies Have a Big Downside

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The Time for Asking is Past, the Time for Telling is Now


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah
Dead is Dead Regardless of Sexual Preference

THE TOMB OF THE UNKNOWN GAY - If a gay soldier is shot down in the forest and no one is around to ask if he's gay, does he die straight?

The Dems are scrambling this week to repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT) before the electorate shows them the door. It’s a sad commentary that they should even need to rush to afford citizens the rights to which they are clearly entitled under the Constitution. It’s sadder still that the most useless piece of legislative garbage to ever come out of Congress was enacted to begin with and that it’s repeal hangs by a thread now.

Over the years homosexuality has been blamed for all manner of things without a grain of truth rooted in reality. First, there was the “all homos are pedophiles” argument. Then, there was the, “they’ll reduce the military to a bunch of sniveling, whining, fear-crazed Jello molds who fear being ogled in the showers” argument. Over at the WestBigot Baptist Church – a place so loopy even Ann Coulter thinks they’re crazy – they don’t even bother with justifications, just “smite them because God tells me so” – but apparently not the same God the Constitution alludes to:

Rights Are Endowed by Your Creator Dammit!
“We hold these truths to be self-evident: That all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness…”

Now comes the drivel from the Family Research Council (FRC), that allowing gays to serve in the military is going to cause a wave of rape to sweep through the ranks. Fine upstanding heterosexual men might be fellated while they sleep or have their backsides tenderly probed while standing in line at the mess hall.

Dear God! Can the End Times be far off?!

THE MEANING OF DADT - "Shut up and pretend to be straight for your country."

The FRC certainly seems to be right on top of this whole “gay thing”, probably because many of them are gay, afraid of becoming gay, in the process of being “cured” of being gay, or bi-confused about the whole thing. Just ask George “Rentboy” Rekers. As a group they appear to be as straight as a dog’s hind leg – and just as wet from pissing themselves.

Remove the Penises From Your Ears
So for those who still need to have the penises cleared from their ears, hear this:

  1. There is zero evidence that gays and the military are incompatible. Nearly every industrialized country on the planet has gays in the military and operate quite well, thankyewvurymuch.
  2. You are as free to hate gays as they are entitled to their Constitutionally-defined, God given right to serve in the military. Their doing so, in no way, interferes with your right to practice a religion or anything else for that matter.
  3. Despite Rick Santorum‘s protests to the contrary, being gay doesn’t infect you with an unquenchable desire to fellate puppies.
  4. The troops of the US military are brave professionals. To suggest they will somehow run away from homosexuals like little girls on a playground is not only ludicrous, but quite frankly insulting – you might even say unpatriotic. If the repeal of DADT causes the military to fall apart, we’ve been spending a lot of money on a military that is so ineffective as to be not much more than a gang of well-armed thugs – not unlike the Afghan military come to think of it.

But finally, there is this. Gays have been in the military since man first raised armies to kill each other. They are there today. So if you believe gays are such a clear and present danger, please answer this:

Is a soldier any less gay because you didn’t ask and he didn’t offer to tell you?

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Don’t Blame Obama, America Did It To Itself


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah

In the heat of a political campaign, otherwise intelligent people s0metimes lose their common sense. Whether floating away on clouds of lofty oration or by willful disbelief of the situation before them, the country ends up with a leader who’s not the candidate supporters think or is less monumentally incompetent than their man.

Obama BusWith George Bush, voters misjudged just what a stupendous mistake he was to become. Bush came into office, depending on your opinion, via a stolen election or the thinnest of margins – either way there were a lot of people who simply held their nose and pulled the lever.

No one could accuse the ex-Mushmouth-in-Chief of being a capable orator, but he was a capable fear monger. Borne on the sanctimonious wings of his hyperbole, many Americans took off the Breathe Right™ strips and poked their chads with somewhat more conviction. However, a few years of disastrous management can change a lot. Had he been able to run again, the ass-whupping McCain got would have more than doubled for him. However, knowing what you’re not buying isn’t the same thing as thinking you know what you are buying.

Barack Obama ran a sputtering campaign during much of the overly long campaign season, finally finishing strong against the War Hero and the Rogue. The O-Man is a superb orator and his calls for hope and bipartisanship exuded a confidence the nation desperately needed after eight years of the Carbuncle- in-Chief.

Most conservatives fell in love with Sarah and loved and voted for the ex-POW, while calling Obama a liberal, socialist, or communist, depending on how deeply they were sunk in Texas hill country muck.

The Obama supporters had such stars in their eyes, they completely lost the ball. After some small dalliances with other candidates, the liberal faction of the party came around and started believing the McCain hype that he was some sort of Messiah.

A non-scientific poll around the neighborhood shows that many voted for him because he wasn’t McCain, or were scared by the Hokey Mom, or just because Obama wasn’t in any way part of the nutcase Republican party or in any way Bushian.

Today we have a President loathed by the right because he’s too liberal and a left that would like to tear him a new one after seeing serial betrayal in each of his actions.

The independents? They got someone sufficiently non-threatening. They can go back to politics via remote control, without fear they will be directly or personally affected by much of anything.

Ten percent unemployment is just another way to say 90% employment – damn good odds if you’re playing PowerBall. Continuing Bush’s dismantling of the First Amendment is just hunky dory because it involves “enemy combatants” and wiretapping someone other than them. The rest of the daily crap is just way too taxing when you’re engrossed in DWTS.

“Hey, fella. Fix that problem and make me a PB&J while you’re at it. It’s still three years to the next commercial and I don’t want to miss anything.”

Obama, flush with his surprise Nobel, gives himself a B+. Conservatives who still think he’s a liberal because they stand somewhere to the right of Attila the Hun by comparison beg to differ. And just ask Howard Dean about that B+. He’ll be a lot easier to reach now that  he won’t be campaigning for Obama again. Independents are just giving Obie an incomplete so far.

Face it, Obama is neither liberal nor conservative. He’s the chicken crossing the road, caught on the white line with the events of history bearing down on him like an out of control semi. We got here because voters simply didn’t examine the goods closely and got hornswoggled for their trouble.

In short, we did it to ourselves.

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