Billy Graham’s daughter, Anne Graham Lotz, took time out from her swim in the shallow end of the Graham family gene pool this weekend to assure everyone that she would NEVER vote for an Atheist.
Category Archives: Religion
Peace Talks in the War on Christianity
It does not take much for many Christians to throw down the Christian Card and declare war on themselves. They loudly point out the freedom of religion clause of the First Amendment. But, many of them read “religion” as synonymous with “Christian” and “freedom” to abridge all other religions and non-theists. The War on Christmas, laws against sharia, and dismissal of rights for non-theists or atheists run hot and are but a few examples of their self-declared “War on Religion (or alternately, Christianity)” . They take the whole Onward Christian Soldiers thing very seriously in the same way the blitzkrieg was serious.
I Smell Crapweasles
Proving the Poobah’s posts are prescient, it’s seems the threat to smite the Mormons over posthumous baptisms caused them to collapse into mint jelly and quash the practice.
Maybe.
Rick Santorum, You’re Not the Only One Who Wants to Puke
KEEP THE BARF BAG HANDY – Newt wants to pontificate and Santorum wants to puke. Those marbles rolling around in their heads must have made them dizzy.
Everybody knows Newt Gingrich loves to pontificate, but now he’s decided to simply elect himself Pope – not that you’d recognize it from his public statements.
Mormons! I Smite Thee in the Name of Common Sense
Mormons baptized slain reporter Daniel Pearl
Can I Get on the Mormon “Do Not Baptize” List?
Theists, I appreciate your prayers for my heathen soul, but there’s no need. Really. I’m an atheist. I’m good. And Mormons, posthumous baptism is even more than one step over the line. That’s even more unneeded, creepy, and unwanted – unless you want to modify that whole 72 Muslim virgins thing to a Mormon Unlimited Virgin Plan. I’m a big believer in more virgins at lower prices. It’s proof of the value of free markets.
When I’m dead, I’m dead. You can’t baptize me unless you want to bless an unholy ooze of font water, ashes, and genealogical records that artificially boost the number of Mitt’s Minions on the books. Second, even though I’ll be dead, I find it offensive while I’m still here. I own the copyright on myself in perpetuity and will defend it vigorously.
Posthumous baptism is no academic exercise. Moroni’s Acolytes recently transplanted Nazi-hunter Simon Wiesenthal’s parents from Judaism to Mormonism. It’s not the first time Joseph Smith’s gardeners pulled Jews up by the roots and carried them to the Zion Botanical Garden of Eden either.
The church has been sued several times over their ecumenical necrophilia and each time they’re caught, it’s always the same chapter and verse. They throw one of their own fontheads to the heathenous hordes by explaining he’s just an overzealous mailroom Warren Jeffs with a hankerin’ for more Mormon ghosts milling around with too much time on their hands. Each time they lay the blame, tithe the damage awards, and seemingly go back to doing what they do best – creating jobs by buying Schwins for the White Shirt/Black Tie Army. But, they always seem to reemerge like a reliable grasshopper plague.
Clearly, the LDS Church isn’t anti-Semitic. As far as I know, they’ve never picked on anyone other than Jews and Christians who don’t believe New York Native Americans are a lost, wandering tribe of Jews. However, they seem to discriminate against Muslims, Atheists, and other religions apparently under the belief we are too far gone to pull from the burning fires of a hell fueled by untaxed 10% tithes. After all, they wouldn’t want to damage the tires of all those missionary bikes. Inner tubes are expensive and stink when they burn. Being good, non-cultish citizens, they wouldn’t want to stir up the EPA.
This is exactly the sort of thing that causes violence between religions. One would think the Mormons would know something about that after they were chased coast to almost coast to escape a never-ending string of massacres by and against outsiders.
I’m proud to say there are no records of Atheist-on-Mormon homicide either. There probably weren’t enough of us in the 1800s to pull together a tar and feather brigade.
I think religions are being too soft on these shenanigans by merely accusing Mormons of running a cult. I’m thinking more along the lines of the swipe of a 2X4 to the head of these poor, misguided geneologists. Something to get their attention if you will.
Say it with me, “I smite thee in the name of common sense you moron(i).”
Related articles
- Jewish Community Outraged By Posthumous Mormon Baptism Of Nazi Hunter Simon Wiesenthal’s Parents (alan.com)
- Mormons apologise for baptism blunder (freethinker.co.uk)
- Mormon Baptism Controversy Threatens Romney (npr.org)
- Mormons Still Baptizing Dead Jews (thedailybeast.com)
- Mormon Church Apologizes for Performing ‘Baptism For The Dead’ Ritual On Jews (crooksandliars.com)
- Romney Keeps Mum on Mormon Baptism of Jews – Pressure builds to respond to baptism of Nazi-hunter’s parents (tribuneofthepeople.com)
- Why do Mormons baptize the dead? (wilmingtonfavs.com)
- Daniel Pearl posthumously baptized in Mormon rite (jta.org)
- Slain journalist Daniel Pearl posthumously baptized by Mormon church: reports (news.nationalpost.com)
- Posthumous Baptisms (volokh.com)
- After Anne Frank baptism, Mormons vow to discipline members (religion.blogs.cnn.com)
Related articles
- Daniel Pearl posthumously baptized in Mormon rite (jta.org)
- Slain journalist Daniel Pearl posthumously baptized by Mormon church: reports (news.nationalpost.com)
- Posthumous Baptisms (volokh.com)
- After Anne Frank baptism, Mormons vow to discipline members (religion.blogs.cnn.com)
