Category Archives: Military

Our World has Changed Forever and It’s Not Coming Back


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah

On September 1, 2001 a gaggle of terrorists – at least one of whom spent his last night on Earth drinking demon rum while ogling strippers – caught the early flight out of Portland , ME. The rest, as they say, is history.

When the dust settled George W. Bush grabbed a megaphone, climbed atop some rubble, threw his arm around a fireman, and gave a fiery speech about truth, justice, and the American way. The good ol’ boy fireman hug was a bit over-the-top, but otherwise it was the perfect thing to rally a country on edge and staring into a bottomless pit of C4.

It also marked the last time I agreed with just about anything he said and the last time there was any semblance of civility in the political process.

At the time, every pundit and politician talked about how the attacks were game-changers. The most oft-heard phrase was, “Our world has changed forever.”

That sure turned out a gross understatement.

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Bush War Crimes: What About His Accomplices?


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah

Mohamed ElBaradei, former head of the International Atomic Energy Agency, says in his new memoir that some Bush Administration officials should face an international criminal investigation for their actions in starting Gulf War II.

He makes a strong case based on confirmed information that has come to light since the War of Error began. For example:

Were there really WMD? Why did the Bushies take the word of an informant, already believed by his German handlers to be sketchy, over ElBaradei and other nuke monitors? Why was the war originally about WMD? Then, about non-existent Al Qaeda meanies before morphing into a campaign spreading the wonders of democracy to a country that still can’t govern itself after almost 9 years and counting.

More importantly, why are we still there? If the answer that Bush still clings to was removing a, “homicidal dictator pursuing WMD,” then the question was settled long ago. No WMD and the homicidal dictator is dead. Let’s go pack our bags.

That war, along with the one in Afghanistan, has cost many lives and much national treasure – enough treasure to make them major causes of our current debt crisis. And, they continue to be albatrosses around the nation’s fiscal neck.

Most people have concluded the war was a colossal blunder at best and a war crime, as Elbaradei believes, at worst. What is certain is that the King of Personal Responsibility and his cabal of inept minions have never been held to account for any of their actions and they’re unlikely to.

People don’t talk much about Iraq anymore. If they’re extremely well-informed they might be vaguely aware that bombs still explode and soldiers still die. Most Americans are more worried about who’s going to get bounced from American Idol than how many Americans are still stuck the world’s largest sand traps. America has a giant case of war fatigue. You can only watch just so many car wrecks before they’re no fun anymore. Just ask Dale Earnhardt fans.

We can lay some of that malaise at the feet of Congress and Barak Obama. Nancy Pelosi came into power and immediately took impeachment off the table. Obama campaigned extensively on winding down both Afghanistan and Iraq. However, the end of his term is coming up and we’re still there – in Afghanistan, in fact, more there than when Bush was bumbling along.

We’re still bleeding money from both suck holes while arguing if we can afford schools, roads, and Grandma’s Alzheimer’s meds. We’re still under the dark provisions of the comically named Patriot Act and each day government power grows at a rate second only to America’s corporatocracy.

I didn’t expect Obama’s promises of Hope and Change to be totally true. After all, campaign promises always melt when high-minded rhetoric meets reality. However, I did expect some action, even if no more than token resistance, to counter the smoking hole Dubya bequeathed us.

Instead, there’s no change in trying to reclaim our burgled civil liberties. No progress in getting out of Afghanistan and scarcely more in leaving Iraq. We’re still bleeding money on the disgraceful wars to the detriment of almost everything the government does. But worst of all, there’s no hope any of that will change.

So maybe ElBaradei has a point. Maybe Big Bush and all of his little scrub brush should be hauled up in front of the Interrnational Court. But in the interest of true American justice, Obama, Congress, and any other jackwads who helped this happen should be in their best orange jumpsuits right along with him.

And we should make sure we do it without starting some new war upon ourselves.

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Obama’s Nobel: Ignoble?


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah

No one was more surprised than I was when Barack Obama received the Nobel Prize shortly after taking office. After all, he hadn’t had a chance to do much of anything yet and I’m not sure a few months of grappling with the large bag of burning dog poo left on his doorstep qualified him to be the bringer of world peace.

I Am Curious Not George

I thought then, as I do now, that Obama got the nod not so much for advancing peace as he did for not being George Bush. An honor for not being someone else isn’t much of a prize. Still, I thought it odd, but not troubling.

Although the Messiah-in-Chief donated the $1.4 million prize to charity, I would have preferred he politely decline it on the grounds he hadn’t done much peacifying yet. I think that would’ve been the classier move, but it was what it was and even John McThuselah supported the award.

Now Bolivian President Evo Morales and the Vice Chairman of Russia’s Duma, Vladimir Zhirinovsky, are agitating to take it away for attacking Libya. Being the great advocates of human rights they are certainly qualifies them to pass judgment – at least they think so.

Indian-giving peace prizes is petty, stupid, and more image destroying than awarding the prize to someone ill deserving it in the first place. That even goes for George McMakepeace Bush even in the highly unlikely event he had won it – or, if Newt Gingrich wins it after President Carebear shuffles off his mortal throne.

If this issue – and I use that term loosely – goes according to the usual form, a thousand nattering nabobs will rise up and feel obliged to make this into a latter-day flag pin drama. The only thing more surprising than Obama winning the award would be if the Republicans didn’t propose a Constitutional amendment disallowing Muslim Kenyans from becoming President. Maybe Sarah Palin will make a stern statement like, “That Russian guy Moldevort, thinks Nobama didn’t deserve it, and he’s a lamestream COMMIE. Didja know I can see Russia from my front porch? (Psst, I’m REALLY running for President. I just make a lot of money giving speeches saying I’m not.) You betcha…wink…wink. I’m a maverick rogue.”

There, I’ve said my peace so go ahead and say yours.

Just do it quickly please. We’re going to hell in a hand basket whether he deserved the award or not.

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Going to War: Let Every Pie Hole Sing


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah

If there’s one thing Barak Obama and George Bush have in common, it’s the uncanny ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Today’s Exhibit A: Libya.

In a single clumsy flail, Super O has gone both too fast and too slow. Talked too much and too little. Been the soul of diplomatic discretion and a bumbling, unrepentant war monger. He wants the US to lead his new Coalition of the Inept and drop out of it by dinner time. And, he wants Kadafhi dead so he can invite him over for a BBQ on the South Lawn.

The list, as every pissed off American with a pie hole says, is endless.

To be fair, where the hell were the asscakes railing against him now when Moses George wandered off into the desert in search of the Burning Bush, only to turn into a burning Bush instead? And that advise and consent thing? Who the hell are you kidding? There hasn’t been a declared war since WWII. Hell, Bush couldn’t even figure out what to call his before settling on the zesty, “War of Error” moniker.

The list of hypocrisy, as every pissed off American with a pie hole says, is endless.

The Secret Kenyan Goes George Bushy
Still, the secret Kenyan clearly hasn’t thought this through. If he knows the endgame, he’s gone all George Bushy in his inability to explain it. By not having a clear set of goals, a way to know you’re done, and how to pack up and get the hell out of Tripoli, you can start reading the ever-growing list of poor plans having come back to bite us: Korea, Vietnam, Iraq I, Iraq II, and Afghanistan to name a few.

Then, there is the war fighting on the domestic front. Republicans just hope he fails at everything. Liberals want the US to run out and save the world every time some tin pot dictator gets rambunctious. And cost? Phht, we haven’t paid off the last two bloody walkabouts yet and the lobby for cutting funding for them is slim and none. Libya is our next supplemental budget item.

To successfully manage policy, one has to start before the events do. Instead of propping up the Mubaraks and Kadafhis of the world, how about we pick and choose our strong men better? In business terms any overstuffed CEO could understand, the cost benefit ratio of removing one asshat and replacing him with another is no way to maximize our investments and incentify the world to peace.

1, 2, 3, 4, What’re We Fightin’ For?
We also need some vague idea of what we’re fighting for before we go. If it’s to defend defenseless civilians, how about the dozens of other places where people try to beat nonsense into each others’ heads with radar-guided sticks. Do we go to the wall for oppressed Norwegians or downtrodden Guineans?

Going to war, a police action, or a no-fly zone is messy business. Rarely are the situations clear. Something will come back to haunt your decision. Going to war is as much, or more, about the future than the present, so it behooves us to think about what we’re going to do before the time comes to do it.

The biggest single thing that pisses off the rest of the world is that every 4 years the US changes foreign policy from unilaterally nuking our perceived enemies until they glow to crawling on bended knee to every insane, Third World megalomaniac to ask forgiveness for not having given him an extra $2 billion and change as a tax for their often specious support.

And the rest of the world has a point. So, lets gear up, keep our heads low, and try to get this thing finished before it turns out a bigger muddle than the two we already have.

As a nation, want can’t take much more fighting someone else’s battles for freedom before we end up having to refight our own here at home.

Viva la common sense!

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Soldier Fitness Tracker: How Would It Grade Pat Tillman?


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah
An Atheist Hero

DENIGRATION IS A FINE WAY TO TREAT A HERO - Many patriotic people stake a claim on Pat Tillman's heroism. However, it turns out he's an atheist (hero) in a foxhole denigrated, along with his family, by some Christians for his beliefs. Click photo for more >>

In joining the military, young troops give up some basic Constitutional rights given the civilian population. The vagaries of war sometimes require it. The military is not a democracy and that’s as it should be.

However, there are some rights they don’t and shouldn’t give up, including the right to worship or not worship as they see fit. A slew of recent events and complaints about the religious components of the Army’s mandatory Soldier Fitness Tracker (SFT) test show abuses that cannot stand.

I’m not a militant atheist. I’m not particularly troubled by most of the many Christian symbols and deeds that appear in clearly secular places. Whether you want to worship Jesus, Mohammad, Buddha, or rocks and trees is none of my concern. I even say Merry Christmas and not Happy Holidays on occasion.

In God Some of Us Don’t Trust

Just Another Atheist Braving Danger for the Christians Back Home

However, I strongly believe that one’s rights stop at the point where they infringe upon others’. Scribbling “In God We Trust” on a dollar doesn’t make it  worth less. It doesn’t infringe on my right to spend the dollar as I see fit. I prefer to see it as a label that identifies God’s cash when it goes into a collection plate or tithe, even though you’d think an omniscent being could figure it out on their own. No harm and no huge foul. More of a bum call actually, but nothing to get dangerously huffy over.

War is Hell, even if Hell is a religious construct. It’s a dark place that breaks bodies and minds and that’s why I’m not against SFT in principle. Everyone could use a little help on the battlefield. If God is your answer, who am I to deprive you of that comfort? If God isn’t, who are you to deprive me of that comfort?

My objection stems from non-Christians and non-theists being tested against a purely Christian scale. Not only are they deemed failures if they don’t answer questions “properly”, but they receive help clearly not right for them. In effect, they get no help at all. Worse yet, they’re compelled to see the chaplain about arrangements for being “born again” or attending Christian concerts.

The problem is less SFT than the measuring metrics used, how the Army interprets the results,  and whether or what kind of emotional support the non-Christians may need. There’s nothing in the test that can’t be remedied with more attention to the needs of all soldiers, not just the select few.

The Army is No Theocracy
As a group, it’s probably safe to say that the majority of those agreeing with such Christianization of the military are the same ones who prattle on about DADT victims being such grave dangers to “unit cohesion and morale”. Doesn’t it seem a soldier labeled a failure, told their beliefs are wrong, and deprived of support offered to Christian soldiers wouldn’t have such great morale and possibly feel alienated enough to damage unit cohesion? The Army may not be a democracy, but it’s not a theocracy either.

American Christians represent a far greater portion of the population than non-theists, polytheists, and non-christians combined. Yet, their constant hosannas are about their rights being lost to the Great Godless Hordes – even to the point that the new Alabama governor publicly suggests his relationship with Christian constituents is greater than his relationship with other Alabamans.

Christians’ insistent imposition of their beliefs on other Americans is exactly what drives the more militant Atheists to distraction. Christians have built a slippery slope not unlike the NRA‘s where many Atheists feel the need to fight every new slight as though it means the death of the Constitution and their inevitable excommunication as Americans. And we’re all – Christians and non-Christians alike – going for a long slide if it continues.

My Christian friends – this isn’t persecution of you, but by you.

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