Category Archives: Media

The Occupational Hazard of Blowing Smoke for a Living


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah

Certainly there are few election seasons in which candidates from either party don’t say or do something stupid or ill-advised. It’s an occupational hazard when you blow smoke for a living – doubly so if you relate to other humans about as effectively as a visitor on a boondoggle,”fact-finding” junket from Jupiter.

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When Candidates Don’t Get Video and Audio Tape


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah

Barack Obama for CNN“BARACK OBAMA REPORTING FROM CAPITOL HILL” – Every politician will run afoul of evil video or audio tape. The good ones will get the hang of it and mostly stay off the Daily Show, the bad ones will get virtually bludgeoned on the evening news.

Six years after noted grifter and late Alaska Senator Ted Stevens showed his impeccable technology credentials by likening the Internet to a “series of tubes”, our erstwhile Presidential nominees struggle with the most basic pre-21st Century gadgets. Gadgets like cameras and audio tape. This is a disturbing trend for a gaggle of walking egos intent on becoming the most audio and video-taped person on the planet.

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Politicians vs. The Media


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah

Hail the Angel of Newt

HE'S A SWEET, SWEET ANGEL - Newt likes to say stupid things and then blame the media for reporting on them. Click photo for more Newt Nudes >>

One by one, the Republican presidential field has come to ruination and they’ve blamed the media, or mainstream media (MSM), or Lamestream media in Palinspeak – at every turn.  They are apparently of the mistaken opinion, as was US Senate candidate Sharron Angle, that journalists should only ask questions candidates want to answer. As news consumers and master media manipulators themselves that belief alone should be a disqualification for lack of critical thinking skills.

When faced with proof of their objectionable behavior, they vigorously deny it. Even a world-class nimrod can see that is a surefire strategic loser. In taking that position politicians deny the existence of videotape, reporters’ notebooks, and public records. Oh, and any lick of common sense too. Without these contradictions in their truthy narratives, The Daily Show and Fox News would starve for a lack of comedy gold. And, Newt Gingrich would still be unstoppable and not a fast-sinking nitwit outfitted with concrete overshoes.

When repeated denials collapse under their own weight the fraidy-cat graftmeisters often blame the media for gotcha journalism. The Half-Term Schoolmarm was a master practitioner of this craft – even if it is the least successful strategy of all. When Katie Couric asked her which newspapers or magazines she regularly read she stammered, “All of them”. Unsurprisingly, Couric and the general public didn’t buy that. If you’re running for President of the Free World and you’re tripped up by a question you could have answered with Time, the Wasilla News Weasel, or Reader’s Digest your mind is as nimble as a saguaro cactus with one of its quills on the “noo-cu-ler” football.

She whined and stamped her sensible pumps and said something on the order of, “That was gotcha journalism, you betcha. They wouldn’t have asked Barack Hussein Obama that.”

In fact, they probably wouldn’t have, although he got plenty of equally dangerous questions too.  However in this case, she was rumored to be aggressively incurious, much like George the Lesser. Since escaping his Reign of Error was nigh, it’s a legitimate question to ask about that uncuriosity. After all, you could accuse The Messiah of many things, but being incurious or poorly spoken wasn’t one of them.

I don’t always buy the flip-flopper angle either. There are numerous legitimate reasons to change a position and if you can reasonably explain them you can minimize their damage. But, changed too often – Mitt Romney, I’m talking about you – you are either extremely hypocritical at best or a pander bear at worst.

The media – Hannity, Rush, O’Reilly, and Maddow you are the media too – makes its share of mistakes. But they share a kinship with all politicians and others they cover. When they make a mistake it’s in full view of the public just like when politicians act like stupid lunkheads. Both careers need a certain amount of aplomb that all too often is sorely missing.

And one other thing: perceptions of media bias are one of the few bipartisan things left in America. If the same story, with reasonably consistent facts, gets complaints from both left and right it’s a sign that the bias may be more between your ears than splashed across a screen or paper.

So quit yer bellyachin’ and act like rational adults.

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Occupy Kim Kardashian!


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah


People are famous for many reasons. Sometimes it’s for being noble, sometimes for bringing the funny. There are those famous for being drug-addled train wrecks (Rush Limbaugh, I’m talkin’ about you) and those using their own fat ass to fart forth opinions on how fat another person’s ass is, notwithstanding that said person’s ass is at least 3 times smaller than his own.

But sometimes people become famous for telling the truth. When asked what her greatest claim to fame was, Kim Kardashian said, “I’m the girl with the fat ass.”

Now that’s fresh and funny, yet scathingly truthful. This is a woman who knows her place in the universe. People should be praising the heavens for a woman who provides both comedic relief and a chance for the average American couch potato to feel superior to someone else for once. It’s stress relieving really. Very therapeutic.

But Kim is being made to pay for being a societal relief valve – Kim H8Rs have begun a petition to have her booted off television. I assume these are the same people who showed all the Muslim-lovers out there that Lowes is the devil and not the home of thrifty building materials.

Lowes, Home of Low Prices
The religious zealots sure showed what they were made of though. They boycotted a place willing to sell them building materials at very reasonable prices so they could spend more at Home Depot to build their annual Christmas manger – replete with a real baby and some cows. They’ve couldn’t have sheep because they butchered them for Sunday dinner.

And the butchering wasn’t halal either.

Kim is famous, or infamous, for a variety of things. Besides the big ass, she wears extension, uses too much make up, and has the biggest set of Charlies ever seen on a regular civilian. Charlies, BTW, she uses to great effect on her sex tape and in  the 6.2 million photos taken of her.

The Kardashian/Jenner clan has a tribal structure that makes the Mayans look like amoebas. At the top is stage mother Chris, the instigator of most of Kim’s stunts. Kim listens to her Stage Babby Momma and beds any random guy she can find. She knows it’s good for ratings.

Her 2 siblings come next. The cute one, Kourtney, eschews birth control to pull in the family values demographic and pumps out kids at an alarming rate – to capture the pro-life crowd. And, she does it all while trying to tame her evil hubby with a name no one remembers.

Khloe, the one people claim is a pre-op transsexual, is the relatively sane one. She clops around in hooker boots with the bobs swaying to, fro, and eventually out. But, she also gives sound advice.

“Kim stop screwing/marrying every guy you meet. Or failing that, stop video taping all of them. It’s just gross.”

“Kourt, kick your dumbass husband to the curb and for chrissakes, stop with the babies. The family already has astronomical therapy bills. ”

At the bottom of clan is Bruce Jenner. His place involves copious amounts of bad plastic surgery and being the consummate hanger-on to avoid having to deal with the reality of being a washed up athlete.

Occupy Kim!
But really, why the boycott? Yes, they can be inane and annoying at times – though I like the way mascara runs like rivers when they cry. They have that whole Tammy Faye thing going on. But what’s the harm really? Is it right to ruin the American dream for people whose only escape from reality is to watch an unreal reality show about someone who, except for the big ass, is unreal as well.

Let’s NOT boycott the advertisers, who quite frankly are only indulging in free market capitalism of the type many of this boycott’s demographic espouses. We must stop this unfair action against innocent advertisers. Like regulations, there are far too many boycotts against America’s small businesses. Small businesses like Sears, QVC, both Walmart AND Target, and something named shopbop.com (which sounds like a sort of online Whack-a-Mole store). It’s socialism by God… socialism right here in America. It’s probably because they’re Armenian… and we all know how close Armenians and Muslims are.

So I say it’s time to counter-protest and save one of America’s living treasures. Occupy Kim if you will.

God, I love this country.

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Threat to America? Communist Muppets Indoctrinate Kids


Posted by Omnipotent Poobah
Sam the Eagle

AMERICAN EAGLE STRIKES BACK - Muppet Sam the Eagle has single handedly taken on the other Muppet communist scourge. When asked why he turned against his furry friends Eagle said, "I can no longer abide by my fellow Muppets' hate for all America stands for. Besides, John Boehner has offered me a positon on the House Unamerican Muppet Activities committee and I sure want that gig."

In a move strikingly similar to the late Jerry Falwell’s assertion that the Teletubies were gay, Fox Business Network‘s Follow the Money host, Eric Bolling, has uncovered shocking evidence of the main stream media’s radical communist agenda.

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