The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

The Energizer Economicizer held forth this week on the state of the economy. As usual, it was a sunny performance worthy of the Crawford High School production of Annie. It didn’t matter that Fed Chairman, Ben Bernacke, simultaneously disputed almost every point during his testimony before Congress. When the Big Dog sings, everything - including the economy and the sun - rises as he commands. And when it doesn’t, he simply pretends otherwise and returns to his comfy space pod from Rigel 12.

In one of his less lucid moments he claimed the free-market is forcefully pulling the Gas Price Sasquatch back in line. I’m not sure how he sees our current national pickle as a shining beacon of capitalistic triumph, but I don’t see how he comes to most of his other observations either.

Go figure.

According to Daddy Warbucks, the economy is just hunky dory, thank you very much. He thinks sky-high prices will cut demand for oil and will, in turn, drive prices down. He has a point about demand, but the idea that prices will eventually follow is longer than an Al Qaeda sniper’s shot. I certainly haven’t seen oil companies drafting plans to lower earnings estimates, stop dividends, and scale back CEO pay.

Racing Stretch Abrahms Tanks Through the Streets of Washington
He has the hare-brained notion that lowered demand deflates all rubber dingies equally. He sees a market that adjusts based on people like him - people who can afford to pay $100 a gallon to drag race their stretch Abrams tanks through the streets of Washington if they want. He doesn’t seem to realize those being squeezed most are the ones who can afford it least. For them, it’s gas at $4.59 per gallon or skipping inconsequential expenses like food, rent, and clothing.

YEEHAAAA! Ain’t that a demonstration of compassionate conservatism for ya!

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It’s been a long time since my last anger-filled screed. This unexpected development isn’t because there are no more topics worthy of long and vicious screeds, it’s because I’m feeling a little like a ripple wimpily expending itself on the placid shores of a pond. It’s hard to get all worked up when the crapstorms fly at you faster than a thick swarm of killer bees stinging the ass of a nudist. So, it’s time to apply a little WD-40 to the snarky joints and get back in the swing of things.

Be kind, I’m rusty.

• Not everything that happens to Barak Obama is about racism.
• Not everything that happens to John McCain is about being a war hero.
• Not everything that happens to Hillary Clinton is about sexism.
• “Experience” has little to do with all three.
• “Experience” has even less to do with Emperor Asshat’s crapulent performance either.
• That goes for Asshat 41 AND DOUBLE for Asshat 43.

• George Bush doesn’t hate black people.
• He hates anyone other than himself.
• Dick Cheney hates everyone.
• Even himself.
• And he’ll shoot you in the goddamn face to prove it.

• Brownie didn’t do a heckuva job.
• Neither did Hurricane George.
• He still hasn’t.

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A Tip O’ the Satirical Cap to Station Agent

Fill in the blank. A New Yorker magazine cover is to Barak Obama what a National Review cover is to (blank).

A geriatric John McCain in a wheelchair! Get it? Now THAT’S funny! But, what about those thousands of Nimrod-in-Chief Hitler caricatures? Funny as hell they were. Why, some of the Photoshopped mash-ups of Lil’ Napoleon dressed as a terrorist rival the New Yorker’s noteworthy effort. And don’t even get me started on the Cindy McCain and Laura Bush robot jokes - it’s comic gold I tell ya’, comic gold!

It’s also time for a slap up side the head.

Dueling Typewriters and Pens
The much-excoriated New Yorker cover is no more over the top than a thousand other satirical cartoons produced by the left and right. Satire, especially political satire, always goes for the gut. By its nature, it’s a knife fight of dueling typewriters and cartoonists’ pens. It’s often over the top and vicious and it’s supposed to be. If it wasn’t, it would be a wonkish, stuffy policy discussion - boring as hell and not nearly as stress-relieving as a good belly laugh.

Political cartoons - especially good ones - often reveal a truth. In this case, a truth about those who cry over spilt cartoonists’ ink with claims the cartoon will bring about a sure victory for Yertle the Turtle McCain and the simultaneous collapse of Western civilization.

Hogswallop! If Obama is such a weak candidate a satirical cartoon will topple him, we’ve all got much bigger worries.

Satire’s a Good Thing
Many of the righteously indignant claim the cover only enforces the misperceptions and outright lies of the anti-Obaminator crowd. It probably does, but given the New Yorker’s position as one of the ring leaders in the right’s liberal media elite, I’m guessing not many Bushies or McCainiacs will pick up a copy to nod with satisfaction that the media finally got it right and has come over to the dark side. Therein lies the satire. The cover’s not a satire because it confirms anti-Obama views. It’s a satire because it lampoons the addle-brained, fear-mongering anti-Obamans.

Satire’s a good thing. It allows us to laugh when, by all rights, we should be crying. Righteous indignation has it’s place too. We should be righteously pissed at the things going on in our country and a good rant is a way to make that point strongly. And if you’re handy with a cartoonist’s pen or a keyboard, satire is a particularly delicious way to do it. I satirize my political opponents often and when I do there are plenty of pats on the back for administering a good, old-fashioned, ass-kicking screed against the dark forces of the right - comments that come from some of the same people now seeing satire in a different light.

This satire also reveals another dark truth. By wasting energy on a satire with the weight of a politicized Dilbert cartoon, the righteously indignant crowd puts themselves exactly where those being lampooned want them - firmly among the hypocritical for laughing at right-bashing satire while carping about vicious pens turned on their own main man.

Your attitudes only help those who want to see us fail and want to harm us. Why do you hate America and want the terrorists to win?

BTW, that last sentence was satire.

Get it?

The Poobah is a featured contributor at Bring It On!